TRANSCRIPT
Office Ladies | Episode 227 – Star Wars Holiday Special
Jenna [00:00:04] I'm Jenna Fischer.
Angela [00:00:05] And I'm Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:00:06] We were on the office together.
Angela [00:00:08] And we're best friends.
Jenna [00:00:09] And now we're doing the Ultimate Office Lovers podcast just for you.
Angela [00:00:13] Each week, we will dive deeper into the world of the office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details, and lots of BFF stories.
Jenna [00:00:21] We're the office ladies 6.0.
Angela [00:00:25] Hello. Well, hello to you. You guys. We showed up today. We had not spoken to one another this morning. We are both in black and white striped sweater things. Look at us. We dressed almost the same today.
Jenna [00:00:43] Should we talk about what we're doing today?
Angela [00:00:45] Yes.
Jenna [00:00:46] Well, you know, everyone from time to time we are going to be dipping into our dear office ladies mailbag and doing episodes based on your suggestions.
Angela [00:00:55] Yeah, you heard us right. Your suggestions will become an episode.
Jenna [00:01:01] These episodes suggestions can be office related or not office related. Which brings us to today.
Angela [00:01:09] The heck it does.
Jenna [00:01:10] To kick things off, we had our very own Cassie Jerkins make the first recommendation. Cassi, would you like to share with everyone what you wanted us to do an episode about?
Cassi [00:01:23] So I was in the Office Ladies mailbag. And a lot of people are requesting Star Wars or, like, a fantasy movie breakdown. Yeah. So I was thinking like, okay, it's the start of December, it's the holiday season. So I think you all should break down one of the strangest things in the Star Wars universe, the Star Wars Christmas special.
Angela [00:01:45] Holy crap sticks. Where do we begin?
Jenna [00:01:50] I mean, I had never seen this before. I'd never heard of it. I just watched Star Wars for the first time last year.
Angela [00:01:56] I had never seen it either. I had heard not so great things.
Jenna [00:02:01] When we were recording our second drink for this week, Sam insisted that it was, quote unquote, great. Sam.
Sam [00:02:09] It is. It is really great.
Jenna [00:02:12] You know, we had to ask Ainsley to do an outline of this for us, and we felt like she needed to be here because. Aynsley, what do you have to say?
Ainsley [00:02:20] Well, I thought I was on drugs while I was watching it. I wasn't.
Angela [00:02:24] Ainsley, when we got your outline and we started reading it, it was so funny. You were clearly so like what the hell is this?
Jenna [00:02:33] I'm going to quote you a few times during this breakdown, Ainsley.
Angela [00:02:39] Well.
Jenna [00:02:40] Should we get into it, lady?
Angela [00:02:42] We better.
Jenna [00:02:43] Here it is. The Star Wars Holiday Special, 1978. This was a story by George Lucas. It was written by Bruce Vilanch, Rod Warren, Pat Prophet and Leonard Ripps with original songs by Mitzi and Kenny Welch and costumes by Bob Mackie. Fast fact number one is titled What is this?
Angela [00:03:11] I don't know what it is. I don't know.
Jenna [00:03:15] The Star Wars Holiday special was a television special originally broadcast by CBS on November 17th, 1978. That was the weekend before Thanksgiving. This was prime placement. Star Wars the movie had been released the year prior and had become the highest grossing movie in history, as well as a cultural phenomenon. The sequel, The Empire Strikes Back, was still two years away. So George Lucas was convinced by people to do this Star Wars holiday television special as a way of keeping fans interested in the franchise.
Angela [00:04:00] Yes, he has been quoted many times saying that he got talked into this.
Jenna [00:04:05] He wants you to know.
Angela [00:04:06] Yeah.
Jenna [00:04:07] But they said we could sell more toys this holiday season, and maybe this was one of their pitches. Maybe we could make some new fans who didn't see Star Wars in theaters.
Angela [00:04:19] Yeah. There's, like, three of them left. Maybe they'll get on board. Everyone had seen this movie at this time. Except for you.
Jenna [00:04:28] Except for me.
Angela [00:04:29] This was for you, Jenna. This holiday special was for you.
Jenna [00:04:33] Boy. Well, wow. This movie special stars the main cast of the original Star Wars.
Angela [00:04:43] Everyone has a cameo.
Jenna [00:04:45] Yes. And like traditional holiday specials of the time, it is a type of variety show. So it has cameos by comedic actors. It has musical numbers. Angela, take us back to 1978 when this special aired. You said you wanted to talk a little bit about.
Angela [00:05:05] I just wanted to get you in the mood for 1978.
Jenna [00:05:08] Okay.
Angela [00:05:09] First of all, the best selling album of 1978 was Saturday Night Fever. The soundtrack by the Bee Gees. It spent 24 weeks at number one on the Billboard 200, 24 weeks.
Jenna [00:05:21] That's a long time.
Angela [00:05:22] I think we need to hear it to set the mood.
Jenna [00:05:24] Okay.
Angela [00:05:34] Where are my roller skates come on!
Jenna [00:05:36] So this is what people were grooving out to.
Angela [00:05:39] Are you feeling it? Are you feeling 1978?
Jenna [00:05:41] I'm feeling it.
Angela [00:05:42] Yeah.
Jenna [00:05:43] All right. I can feel my landline phone in my hand.
Angela [00:05:47] How happy are you?
Jenna [00:05:48] I love it.
Angela [00:05:49] I'm feeling my roller skates.
Jenna [00:05:50] Okay.
Angela [00:05:51] All right. Second thing going on, in 1978, the biggest hit movie was Grease. It made just shy of $160 million at the box office.
Jenna [00:06:01] Okay.
Angela [00:06:02] That's 1978. And you might be curious what the most popular toys were. I'm going to give you the top three. The first one, you guessed it, were the Star Wars figurines that came out. Now, they came out in 1977. The toy manufacturer, Kinder, ran out of them almost immediately. They had to give out certificates. Like you could pay $9, and you got, like, a piece of cardboard that you could then mail in to the manufacturer. And then they would when they finally got back in stock mail you a figurine.
Jenna [00:06:34] Wow.
Angela [00:06:35] They were called the early bird figurines. They now go for thousands of dollars. For example, the 1978 Luke Skywalker, Early Bird 12 A figurine is a huge ticket item. But guess which one has sold for the most? It's set a world's most valuable toy record.
Jenna [00:06:54] I actually weirdly think I know this because I feel like Mark Hamill did an interview about it once. Is that a Luke Skywalker something?
Angela [00:07:04] No.
Jenna [00:07:05] I thought there was like some batch of him that was made incorrectly. And someone has one.
Angela [00:07:12] Well, those always go for a lot. And you're on the right track here. But the extremely rare Star Wars action figure that sold for $525,000, half $1 million for a little figurine was a hand-painted missile firing model of the bounty hunter Boba Fett. Yeah. It was never released to the public because it was deemed a choking hazard in the 1970s. The toy, one of only two still in existence, beat all other of the world's priciest toy. This is the one everyone wanted. I thought it was pretty crazy. It features a rocket firing backpack. It's not available in stores and it's a hot commodity. Wow. But don't choke on it. I guess you could possibly choke on it.
Jenna [00:08:00] It would be a real shame to spend, like $500,000 on something and then choke on it.
Angela [00:08:05] It would be really bad. Yeah. The other two top seller toys at the time were hungry. Hungry hippos.
Jenna [00:08:10] Had it.
Angela [00:08:10] Had it. I think we still have it.
Jenna [00:08:12] Also maybe a choking hazard.
Angela [00:08:14] Also maybe. And a pogo stick. Tried one, painful.
Jenna [00:08:19] Had it.
Angela [00:08:20] Painful.
Jenna [00:08:20] Toys were very mean to you back in the 70s.
Angela [00:08:25] They were a roll of the dice.
Jenna [00:08:28] Is this when the lawn darts came out as well? Feels like maybe.
Angela [00:08:32] Lawn dart time.
Jenna [00:08:32] Okay. Well, thank you for that, Angela. I feel like I'm in 1978.
Angela [00:08:38] Yeah.
Jenna [00:08:40] Are you ready for fast fact number two?
Angela [00:08:42] Yes.
Jenna [00:08:43] I titled this one 'This was a show from the beginning.' I found an amazing Vanity Fair article from 2008. They did a whole write up on this movie. It was like a look back. They interviewed a bunch of people from the article, and writer Bruce Vilanch said that it was George Lucas's intent on building the Star Wars holiday special around the family of Chewbacca and Life Day. That is the Wookiee equivalent of like, Christmas.
Angela [00:09:15] Yeah, big holiday.
Jenna [00:09:16] Bruce said the writers really struggled, which I think is clear if you watch it.
Angela [00:09:22] By the dialogue?
Jenna [00:09:24] By the whole thing. They also went through two different directors on this project.
Angela [00:09:29] That's never a good sign.
Jenna [00:09:30] First there was David Acomba. He was around for all of the pre-production, but he only shot a handful of segments, most notably the one starring Bea Arthur and also the Jefferson Starship musical number. They brought in Steve Binder Mid Shoot to take over directing. And Bender's only contact with George Lucas was that they gave him a Wookiee Bible. Like our show Bible. And it was a brochure that was a back story of the entire Chewbacca family.
Angela [00:10:03] But if he had a question outside of that Chewbacca Bible, Lucas was, like, not available.
Jenna [00:10:08] He was not super available from my research. Steve Bender's primary job was to try to bring this production, which was overbudget and behind schedule to a close. He also had to shoot the scenes that involve the members of the original cast. There was Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Peter Mayhew, who played Chewbacca. Guess what? None of them wanted to be in the special. They all had to be begged to participate.
Angela [00:10:39] I read that, too.
Jenna [00:10:40] Mark Hamill was asked about the holiday special at a fan convention, and he said he didn't want to do it, but George Lucas convinced him to do it to help sell toys. And you might know that Mark Hamill famously negotiated a very good deal on merchandise. And he made so much effing money on merchandise.
Angela [00:11:02] Well, I have read that Mark Hamill's deal with Star Wars because he made so much money that now studios, they took note in all these big action movies like Marvel and where they have action figures. Yeah. Actors don't get the same deal because Mark Hamill kind of broke it.
Jenna [00:11:19] I mean, listen, we know that with the office, we are everywhere on calendars and mugs and sweaters and all that sort of stuff.
Angela [00:11:27] We don't see money from that.
Jenna [00:11:28] What do we get? I think in 2018, I got a check for $700 for all that merchandise. Something like that.
Angela [00:11:35] Yeah. Like eight years ago. I think I got a check for 173 bucks.
Jenna [00:11:39] Yeah.
Angela [00:11:39] My face is on a shot glass.
Jenna [00:11:41] Right, Right. Thanks, Mark Hamill.
Angela [00:11:45] But Mark Hamill. Good for you, buddy.
Jenna [00:11:47] Good for you. Yeah. Well, I don't know if it helps sell more toys, but that's why Mark Hamill did it. Harrison Ford was especially reluctant to do it. Remember when Alison Jones was on the podcast and she talked about how like to a film star doing TV, especially TV comedy was kind of bottom of the barrel.
Angela [00:12:06] Yeah.
Jenna [00:12:07] I mean, these were the biggest film stars. They were in the highest grossing movie of all time.
Angela [00:12:13] I watched Harrison Ford on Conan O'Brien.
Jenna [00:12:15] I did, too. When he asked him about it?
Angela [00:12:18] He was like, what about this Star Wars Christmas special? And he just kept shaking his head. And then he said, it doesn't exist. And Conan was like, I do have a tape. And then Harrison Ford pretended to strangle Conan.
Jenna [00:12:29] Yes. Carrie Fisher said she would do it, but only if she got to sing. And she did. All right, time for fast fact number three. I'm calling this one. How was it received? How did people respond?
Angela [00:12:42] How did it go over?
Jenna [00:12:43] Well, it was seen by close to 13 million television households.
Angela [00:12:48] That seems like a lot.
Jenna [00:12:50] But it finished second. ABC's Love Boat and the ABC miniseries Pearl beat it.
Angela [00:13:01] I did Love Love Boat.
Jenna [00:13:03] Well yeah. You might have watched Love Boat instead. Here are some things that critics have said over the years about the special. David Hoff Steed, author of What Were They Thinking? The 100 Dumbest Events in Television History Ranked. The Star Wars Holiday special as number one, calling it, quote, the worst two hours of television ever. Alex Carter from Den of Geek said, quote, Words have not been invented to describe how bad it is. Alan French from Sunshine State Cineplex wrote, quote, You will curse God for this show's mere existence. Like we said, the cast hates it. They barely speak of it. Carrie Fisher revealed that she asked for a copy of it so that she could play it at parties to make people leave.
Angela [00:13:54] I read that, too. And I guess the reason she got a copy, George Lucas would not give any copies out. In fact, supposedly this is the only copy he gave out. All the ones you see on YouTube were bootleg copies, right? But Lucas wanted Carrie to do a DVD commentary, and she said, I will only do it if you give me a copy of the Star Wars holiday special.
Jenna [00:14:17] Yeah, I mean, everybody, this was the time when, like, if you didn't see it live on TV, that was it.
Angela [00:14:22] Yeah.
Jenna [00:14:23] You didn't record stuff you didn't like. There was no DVR. There was no on demand. It was one and done.
Angela [00:14:30] Yeah, I just think it's hilarious that if you went to a party at Carrie Fisher's house and she was ready for you to go, she put this on.
Angela [00:14:41] I know that makes me laugh. Speaking of George Lucas not wanting to give out any copies of this, I also read that in Star Wars episode three, Revenge of the Sith, they had to show the Wookie planet for the first time in the movie. So the artist to portray Cacique had to go to the holiday special.
Jenna [00:15:00] Because it had been established.
Angela [00:15:01] It had been established. It was already in the world. Right. So they had to go to George Lucas and ask for a copy. And I guess he was super annoyed about it. That's what I read. Well, George Lucas is famously quoted about the Star Wars holiday special. He has said, quote, If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it. That's what George Lucas has to say about it. But, Ainsley, you found some comments on the YouTube page where we all watch this. What what are folks saying there?
Jenna [00:15:34] Yeah. What's the fan response?
Ainsley [00:15:36] Well, it's pretty unanimously bad. One user said three seconds in and I'm already upset the Incredible Hulk will not be presented this evening.
Angela [00:15:48] Yeah. That's the ad before it.
Ainsley [00:15:50] Another said, Imagine setting your VCR for the Incredible Hulk and coming home to this. One is a spoiler, so I won't say that right now.
Angela [00:16:00] It's probably okay.
Ainsley [00:16:01] I love how all the comments are related to the first ten minutes of the movie, because no one could clearly make it any further.
Angela [00:16:09] Yes.
Ainsley [00:16:09] This special is the reason Ben gave up during his battle with Vader. He first saw this and thought, If I don't die now, I'll have to star in it as well. And my favorite, because I relate to it, is this is what Star Wars looks like to people who don't like Star Wars.
Jenna [00:16:30] Amazing.
Angela [00:16:31] I did see an interview with Mark Hamill where he said at this point we should just celebrate it. You know, we should just lean into it, which I think is really, really fun. And now I guess there's even a documentary about this holiday special. It's called A Disturbance in the Force. It came out in 2023, and it kind of shares how this whole thing came about.
Jenna [00:16:53] Well, I told Lee that we were breaking this down this week, and this is what he said. Lee went like this. He went. When I was a little kid, my parents said, Do you want to go to a hockey game or do you want to stay home and watch the Star Wars holiday special?
Angela [00:17:15] Man, he loves hockey.
Jenna [00:17:17] And he said, I want to stay home and I want to watch the Star Wars holiday special.
Angela [00:17:25] Oh no.
Jenna [00:17:25] So Lee's dad took his brothers to the hockey game and Lee stayed home. And he said about four minutes in, he so greatly regretted his decision. And he's remembered it all these years.
Angela [00:17:41] My gosh. The core memory. Damn you, Star Wars holiday movie.
Jenna [00:17:46] So, everyone, we're going to break it down.
Angela [00:17:50] So sit back, relax, because here it comes.
Jenna [00:17:55] And on that note, we watched it and we're going to break it down for you today.
Ainsley [00:17:59] Crap. I forgot something. Okay, Wait. Let me get it. Let me get it. Okay. This is part of my bit. I didn't really forget. I'm doing a bit. Did I sell it? Did you really think I forgot something?
Jenna [00:18:17] Of course.
Angela [00:18:18] Okay, before we go to break, I just had one thing I really needed to say to you. Okay. I just need one thing to help me say it to you.
Jenna [00:18:28] Angela has gotten underneath the podcasting table, and I don't know what she's doing. I don't know what's happening. What is that? My gosh. She has a Chewbacca mask on that makes noises.
Angela [00:18:55] I love it so much. I'm so tickled by it. I bought it special. And listen. The Chewbacca people speak and this is how they say hello.
Cassi [00:19:13] Angela I think the rest of the podcast could just be Jenna talking and you speaking Wookie, and that would be the movie.
Jenna [00:19:20] That would be the movie. And I'll just sing from time to time as well and maybe do a cartwheel and then you will have the full experience.
Angela [00:19:28] I looked up the language Wookiees speak because I wanted to greet you with their hello. And it just went waa and then I bought the mask because I thought maybe it sounded better than my interpretation. Okay. Boy. Let's go to break.
Jenna [00:19:47] We'll be back. All right. We are back. And the special opens up on the Millennium Falcon. Chewbacca and Han Solo are racing through space. Yeah, I mean, it opens in a somewhat promising way. You have no idea what lies ahead at this point.
Angela [00:20:14] At this point, you're hopeful it's another Star Wars movie? My gosh. The imperial forces. What's going to happen?
Jenna [00:20:20] Yes. This is when we're going to find out the plot of the whole thing, which is that it is Life Day and Chewbacca is trying to get home. Life Day is a holiday that is a combination of Christmas and Thanksgiving. And Han Solo says, I will get you home in time to celebrate with your family.
Angela [00:20:44] You don't worry.
Jenna [00:20:46] Yeah, Yeah.
Jenna [00:20:47] That's it, everybody. That's the plot. Will they get home in time? Well, after that opening sequence, we've got a real healthy bunch of opening credits.
Angela [00:20:57] Yeah.
Jenna [00:20:58] Where we introduce all of the actors and their characters and blah, blah, blah. And now we're going to get into the meat of this story. We opened on an exterior shot of a wooden home is built around a tree.
Angela [00:21:12] Let's just say it's not a real structure. This is clearly like a drawing that they're using. It's fak-ey.
Jenna [00:21:19] I mean, it looks like it was made out of matchsticks, maybe. Or it's a drawing. I couldn't tell.
Angela [00:21:27] It had a little it has a little bit of like an Ewok treehouse vibe, but nowhere near, like, as cool looking.
Jenna [00:21:34] Yeah. We're going to now push inside, and it is Chewbacca's family home. And I wrote this; I'm four minutes into this movie and I'm already wondering if I can finish it.
Angela [00:21:49] Well, we meet the family. We meet Chewbacca's wife, Marla, his son Lumpy, and his father Itchy. And the opening shot here, it looks like, you know, Itchy is maybe whittling. He's whittling a wooden Starfighter. Maybe the T 65 X-Wing. Maybe. And Lumpy keeps flying his wooden X-Wing by his grandfather's head. And it's just getting really ticked off, he growls out of his eye. Itchy has a severe underbite.
Jenna [00:22:20] And no teeth.
Angela [00:22:21] No teeth.
Jenna [00:22:22] I found it upsetting.
Angela [00:22:24] It's a little.
Jenna [00:22:25] It's hard to look at.
Angela [00:22:26] He's a little unsettling to look at at four minutes and seven seconds. It cuts over to Marla in the kitchen. She's wearing an apron. Looks like she's starting to take out the trash. A little side note here. I really love the light in her kitchen. She gets great light in her treehouse. She had some plants.
Jenna [00:22:45] That was your take away from the scene?
Angela [00:22:50] Good for you, Malla. You've got some plants. It looks like she has a nice stove top with a hood, maybe a kitchen island. The living room has a potbelly fireplace. I mean, this is a pretty nice treehouse.
Jenna [00:23:02] They have turf for carpeting, which I thought was a strange choice.
Angela [00:23:07] Well, they're in a treehouse.
Jenna [00:23:08] But why bring the outside in?
Angela [00:23:10] I don't know. Lumpy now, guys really wants a snack. There's a bowl of something, maybe worms. It's hard to tell. And his mom is like, you take out the dang trash.
Jenna [00:23:21] But hold on. I just need us to note that no one is speaking anything but Wookiee language.
Angela [00:23:28] Yeah. It's all just like that. But this is my interpretation. Lumpy takes the trash out to their porch. Then he looks over the banister. You guys, they are high. High up in a tree. You can hear birds. Lumpy is like peering over. And guess what he decides to do? Walk on the top of the railing? Yeah. What the heck? Yeah. Super high. Very dangerous. I was very stressed out during this time.
Jenna [00:23:55] Yeah.
Angela [00:23:55] Meanwhile, back inside, oblivious that Lumpy is like doing a tightrope walk, Itchie is still whittling and Malla goes over to her bookshelf. She gets a photo of Chewbacca in a frame. She's really looking worried. And I did notice a few things on the bookshelf. They have very nice speakers.
Jenna [00:24:15] Great light, good speakers.
Angela [00:24:18] Yes.
Jenna [00:24:18] Okay. Can I soapbox for a quick moment? I'm sorry to soapbox the Star Wars holiday special, but.
Angela [00:24:26] No, you're not.
Jenna [00:24:28] One of my favorite things is when you see a movie or a TV show, and it is featuring, like, an alternate reality or like, a fantasy world. And yet, somehow the females of the species are still wearing aprons and they're still in the kitchen.
Angela [00:24:47] Yeah.
Jenna [00:24:48] Yeah. This is my complaint about Game of Thrones. You know, they really had an opportunity to create any narrative that they wanted, But for the most part, all the women in that show are either wives or prostitutes. They have no currency.
Angela [00:25:03] Except for Aria.
Jenna [00:25:05] I mean, there's always the exception that proves the rule. But, you know, for the most part, the most part.
Angela [00:25:11] But there are some bad asses. Sansa is a bad ass, Khaleesi. I mean, they go through shit to get there.
Jenna [00:25:17] But they're all just like, constantly being, like, raped and prostituted and, like, under the thumb of a man's rule. And, you know, here we go, Malla.
Angela [00:25:29] Yes, I mean, Khaleesi does burn a bunch of men alive, but.
Jenna [00:25:33] Yes, but eventually a woman in those circumstances is going to get mad enough that she's going to do some badassery. But all the women who are like super badass fighters. How about I mean, look at Wonder Woman. It's a whole island of just ass-kicking women. Thank you so much. Yeah. Finally. Finally. Anyway.
Angela [00:25:57] I'm with you.
Jenna [00:25:58] A lot of fantasy sci fi stuff. We can make it anything we want. Anything we want. And we always make it where it's just the most.
Angela [00:26:10] Well, it's written by men. So let's change that.
Jenna [00:26:15] Yeah. Let's change it. I'm not going to change it.
Angela [00:26:18] Our next book is.
Jenna [00:26:21] I don't have it in me.
Angela [00:26:23] How about women who don't wear aprons?
Jenna [00:26:26] This is another soap box that ends with me telling everyone how tired I am. All right. I want to tell you a little bit about what Bruce Vilanch had to say. Now, he was quoted as saying, quote, You've chosen to build a story around characters who don't speak.
Jenna [00:26:59] He went on to say this was George Lucas's vision and he could not be moved, he said. And of course, Star Wars was so gigantic that he had been validated 100 times over. So he had what a director needs to have, which is this insane belief in their personal vision, and he was somehow going to make it work. He also shared that it was George Lucas who named Chewbacca's father and son, Itchy and Lumpy. But I guess the names are actually abbreviations of Atatürk and Lumpur.
Angela [00:27:46] The sounds like when you have to make up a name, lady, this is like Billy. What was your name?
Jenna [00:27:52] Betsy Belly-Welly?
Angela [00:27:53] Well, yes. Yeah, you could come up with Star Wars names.
Jenna [00:27:56] Yeah. They also remind me of the names that Michael named his children.
Angela [00:28:00] A little bit. when you ask your kids to name the family pet, you get lumpy and itchy.
Jenna [00:28:06] Well, those are their nicknames.
Angela [00:28:09] Okay, well, Lumpy is back from, you know, walking on the balance beam thing, and he runs in very excited. He's got this little gray square. Guess what? It's like a cassette tape. They have an enormous tape player. But it's not just any kind of tape player. It plays music and like a little tiny hologram pops up and different aliens parade out and they dance in these colorful outfits. They juggle. They do acrobatics. Imagine a tiny Cirque du Soleil.
Jenna [00:28:38] It was Cirque du Soleil. Cirque du Soleil had just hit the scene. And this was Cirque du Soleil, lady.
Angela [00:28:45] That is crazy.
Jenna [00:28:46] Yes.
Angela [00:28:47] Well, there's one dude in a really big, green, leafy leotard. He's kind of in charge of things. Imagine, like a genie in a bottle vibe, but then he becomes bigger.
Jenna [00:28:57] Yes. Yeah. There still has been no talking outside of the Wookiee language.
Angela [00:29:05] No, there hasn't been.
Jenna [00:29:06] Were a good, like, ten minutes deep now.
Angela [00:29:09] Yeah. And, you know, Lumpy wants to keep watching his hologram tape, but his mom really wants him to do chores, and she keeps pointing to something in the kitchen, and then he has to go dry the dishes.
Jenna [00:29:22] Well, now Malla is going to attempt to scan for any incoming ships. You know, is Chewbacca on his way? And initially, she has no success, but she eventually contacts Luke Skywalker and R2-d2.
Angela [00:29:35] Yeah. Here's the thing. They have so many computer screens in their house. I think they have too much computer screen.
Jenna [00:29:42] Too much technology.
Angela [00:29:43] Too much technology. Because she goes to the big family computer and it doesn't work. Then she has a secret compartment in the bookshelf that she slides the doors open and there's another smaller computer and they video call Luke Skywalker. He answers. He's with R2-d2. And I think we need to hear their phone call.
Jenna [00:30:01] All right.
CLIP [00:30:03] Hello, Malla. Hi. Where's Chewbacca? *garbled noises*. Wait a minute. I don't like the looks of this. Let me get this fixed.
Angela [00:30:43] If you want to know what the first ten minutes of this movie are like. That's it.
Jenna [00:30:49] Well, Luke is going to assure her that Han and Chewbacca are on their way, despite the lack of communication. Because, come on, he's never missed a life day before, and he's not going to miss it this time.
Angela [00:31:03] He tells her to smile.
Jenna [00:31:05] What did I soapbox about?
Angela [00:31:07] I know. I know.
Jenna [00:31:08] And there's another one coming up. I'm going to point out.
Angela [00:31:11] I pointed it out. It's that kiss. Yeah, I know.
Jenna [00:31:17] Okay.
Angela [00:31:18] Yeah. He tells her to smile.
Jenna [00:31:20] Well, now Malla is going to reach out to Saun Dann?
Angela [00:31:25] Yeah, but again, she's on the computer for a long time. She has to type a bunch of stuff. Finally, it flashes up on the screen. It says Trading Post Wookiee planet C?
Jenna [00:31:36] And Saun Dann is played by Art Carney. Art Carney was an actor and a comedian. He was one of the stars of The Honeymooners. He played Ed Norton opposite Jackie Gleason. He was nominated for seven Emmy Awards and he won six. He also won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe in 1974. So right before this, he won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe for this movie, Harry and Tonto. It's about an elderly man who goes on a road trip with his pet cat. I want you to hear the people he beat.
Angela [00:32:14] Okay.
Jenna [00:32:15] Albert Finney, Dustin Hoffman. Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino.
Angela [00:32:19] Wow.
Jenna [00:32:20] I just want everyone to understand the gravity of the actor that we got to play this role of Saun Dann.
Angela [00:32:28] And his first line of dialog. Get ready for the beautiful writing here. He says, Imperial Officer, I guess you'll want to see my ID. And then in a very deep voice, this imperial officer whose helmet kind of looks like a bonnet, and he has a really big mustache. He says, No, I'm off duty. I've come to look at your shop. He's got this really deep voice. Yeah, it cracked me up.
Jenna [00:32:56] Yeah. And Malla is going to call him while this officer is there, so they're going to have to kind of talk in code now.
Angela [00:33:05] Yeah.
Jenna [00:33:06] Because, you know, why? Why are they talking in code? This I did not understand. Why are they here? Why are they on this Wookiee planet? Why don't they want Chewbacca to come home for Life Day? Why are we sneaking? I don't get it.
Angela [00:33:21] Well, Chewbacca is part of the resistance, so maybe.
Jenna [00:33:24] They're at the end of Star Wars. Didn't we get rid of all this imperial business? Didn't that happen? They blew up a whole planet, right? Am I remembering this correctly?
Sam [00:33:35] No, you're remembering it correctly.
Angela [00:33:36] No no, you're right. It doesn't make sense.
Jenna [00:33:38] After Star Wars and the happy ending of blowing up this planet now, in this Christmas special, I'm learning that we're under the thumb of the Imperial forces again. They blow up the Death Star.
Sam [00:33:48] You didn't liberate these--
Angela [00:33:50] They didn't get rid of the Imperial Army.
Jenna [00:33:52] But they got rid of, like almost everyone in it.
Sam [00:33:56] Yes, they got rid of their death ray.
Jenna [00:33:59] How did they reorganize so quickly and have everyone under control again? Like what was the even the point of blowing up the Death Star? Like four seconds later? We're all--everyone's scared of the officers again, who's in charge, by the way?
Angela [00:34:15] And why do we need to see this imperial officer in a gadget shop? He doesn't really like anything. My favorite moment. I think we need to hear it when we learn that you can buy a pocket aquarium. Listen to his reaction to this gadget.
CLIP [00:34:33] Paul, you want to see my ID? No. I'm off duty. I've come to look around your shop. Good, good, good. But Ralph was wrong because of the home. And you can see I've got just about everything a man or woman would want. 'll show you that. I really love that. Yeah. It is a pocket sized aquarium. Wonderful, isn't it? And you can take it with you anywhere. And the tank is a snap to clean. I hate fish.
Angela [00:35:24] I'm telling you, I live for this guy. His voice, his reaction to everything. This scene is bonkers.
Jenna [00:35:31] Well, at the end of the scene, Saun Dann is going to convince the officer that he needs this special groomer, and he's going to discuss the multiple uses of the groomer with the officer. He's going to make a sale. And I'd like us to hear it.
CLIP [00:35:49] Apparently you haven't read the instructions for the warranty and the guarantee. Besides shaving and hair trimming, it's guaranteed to lift stains off clothing, faces and hands, cleans, teeth, fingers and toenails, washes eyes, pierces ears, calculates modulates and syncopated light rhythms, and can repeat the entire Imperial penal code or 17 volumes in half the time of the all XP to one. Just the thing to keep you squeaky clean.
Angela [00:36:20] And you guys, if you see it, it's like a stick.
Jenna [00:36:23] With a brush on the end. Well, after this, we are going to cut to Darth Vader.
Angela [00:36:34] Yeah.
Jenna [00:36:34] How exciting.
Angela [00:36:35] Very exciting.
Jenna [00:36:37] Darth Vader tells his henchmen that he wants to find and identify the rebels, even if it means searching every home in the system. I have a fun fact for you.
Angela [00:36:48] What?
Jenna [00:36:49] James Earl Jones is the voice of Darth Vader, but he was originally uncredited in the Star Wars movie. So this special marks the first time he was actually credited as the voice of Darth Vader.
Angela [00:37:01] I have a tidbit for you.
Jenna [00:37:03] What is it?
Angela [00:37:04] Apparently, George Lucas is not in the credits.
Jenna [00:37:06] He's not?
Angela [00:37:08] That's what I read.
Jenna [00:37:10] I didn't notice. We're going to go back to the Wookiee home because that's where most of those special is set.
Angela [00:37:21] Malla's busy cooking.
Jenna [00:37:23] She's watching a cooking show.
Angela [00:37:24] Yeah.
Jenna [00:37:25] She is watching Gormaanda, who is played by Harvey Korman. Sort of a take on Julia Child I think.
Angela [00:37:33] This is one of his three characters he plays.
Jenna [00:37:36] Yes. Harvey Korman rose to fame thanks to his role on The Carol Burnett Show during his ten year run on the show, he received six Emmy nominations and he won four. He also starred in the Mel Brooks films Blazing Saddles and High Anxiety. And the Disney film Herbie Goes Bananas. And I was relieved when this bit came up. I did appreciate this comedy bit.
Angela [00:38:02] Well, that's what he's there for.
Jenna [00:38:04] Yes.
Angela [00:38:04] He is wearing a gray sort of pompadour wig with a pink dress and a cape. His hands have these big gloves that come up. There might be more hands coming.
Jenna [00:38:16] There will be. Chef Gormaanda is teaching you how to make Bamba Surprise. This is a traditional dish served on Life Day. And Malla is following the instructions.
Angela [00:38:30] It seems like the way you make it is you just kind of whip things into a frenzy.
Jenna [00:38:35] Yes. Here's an audio clip.
CLIP [00:38:38] Taking steps. One We stir the mixture. Stir, stir, stir stirs. Stir. So very nice. Now step two, while we're stirring, we also whip. So it's stir. Whip. Stir. Whip. Whip. Whip. Stir. Stir. Whip. Stir, whip. Whip Start. Let's try it again. Together at an increased tempo. Because precision is very important in this recipe. And we do want to have a fine consistency. Don't be so. And on the count of lumps. Stir, Whip. Whip. Whip. Whip. Stand still. So whip, stir. Come on. Faster. All together now cooking can be fun. So with. With whip, stir, stir. We go with whip.
Jenna [00:39:24] There you go.
Angela [00:39:25] Yeah.
Jenna [00:39:25] And during all the stirring and whipping, Gormaanda gets a third arm and then a fourth arm.
Angela [00:39:31] Yeah, well, here's what happens after that segment, Gormaanda is like, you also got to beat it. So then another arm comes out to beat it, and then you've got to taste it and another comes out to taste it. And then there's four arms going, This is comedy gold, you guys. I mean, I mean, Harvey is trying to keep up that one of the arms is feeding him, the other one's whipping, the other one stirring ones beating his wig starts to fall apart. I mean, hilarious.
Jenna [00:39:57] Angela, Did you know what Bamfas were? Well, they serve as mounts for Tusken raiders and the two share a close, almost mystical bond. But Wookiees eat them.
Sam [00:40:12] They have big, big horns. They're like giant sheep.
Angela [00:40:15] That's right. That's what they are. And they ride them.
Jenna [00:40:17] They look like a giant sheep, wooly mammoth.
Angela [00:40:20] I know what they are now. I just didn't know the name. Well, you know what? Is this kind of, like, eating a horse?
Jenna [00:40:27] I mean, it feels like it's eating a unicorn because the thing has a mystical bond with its rider or eating a dragon or something. I mean, I don't know, but the Wookiees love it. I'll have you all know that. If you would like, you can purchase the Star Wars Life Day Cookbook. I'm holding it in my hands right now. It contains, quote, official holiday recipes from a galaxy far, far away. And this was released after the holiday special. And there is a recipe for Bamfa Surprise, which I thought maybe Josh could make for us.
Angela [00:41:13] Yes.
Jenna [00:41:14] And he did.
Angela [00:41:16] Jenna emailed Josh, Josh was like and I just got a really weird email from Jenna. I was like, What do you mean? He was like, she want me to make a type of stew from the podcast.
Jenna [00:41:26] Yeah. If you look at the recipe, it is basically a recipe for beef stew.
Angela [00:41:32] Yes. It's got carrots and onions, celery.
Jenna [00:41:36] And so I'm excited to try it.
Angela [00:41:38] I brought it today.
Jenna [00:41:39] Well the human version, the recipe calls for beef rather than Bamfa and Cassi, I know you're a vegetarian and you won't be able to partake. So I did make us a special punch according to the Life Day cookbook. And it's called Joe Blast-o punch. Do you know who Joe Blast-o is? I guess Joe Blast-o is a classic Life Day jingle.
Angela [00:42:08] It's a song. Joe Blast-o is a song not a person?
Jenna [00:42:12] I guess it's a song. It's not in the special. The song is not in the special.
Angela [00:42:17] You sing it on Life Day?
Jenna [00:42:19] Yeah. And then here are the words in the cookbook.
Angela [00:42:23] Sing it.
Jenna [00:42:24] Okay.
Angela [00:42:25] Make up your own tune.
Jenna [00:42:26] It's written in both Wookie and English.
Angela [00:42:30] Do you want me to do the Wookie part with my mask and you do the English part?
Jenna [00:42:35] Sure. Okay. I don't know the melody. Rumor has it that R-3X, the deejay droid over at Oga's Cantina, has a collection of Joe Blast-o remixes so extensive that it could play all life day without ever repeating. So here's the Wookiee. I love that you're standing over my shoulder as if this means anything to you, and I'll sing this part in a melody that I make up on the spot.
Angela [00:43:03] And then I'll sing the Wookie part.
Angela [00:43:05] Yeah, sure over my shoulder. Okay. Are you ready? Joe Blast-o *proceeds to sing unintelligible song*
Jenna [00:43:17] That's all I can do. That's all I can do. No one wants to hear that. No one wants to hear us do that. I apologize.
Angela [00:43:44] Well, that was special. We've now just made our own show Holiday special.
Jenna [00:43:51] Everybody, we are going to take a break. We're going to get out the Bamfa surprise. I'm going to get out the Joe Blast-O Punch. And we'll be right back. Okay, everyone, we're back. We've got our Bamfa Surprise. Our Stew. And we have our punch. Ainsley is also a vegetarian, So, Sam. Angela, let's try our Bamfa Surprise.
Sam [00:44:26] Okay, here we go. I mean it's great.
Jenna [00:44:37] I highly recommend.
Sam [00:44:39] If you base the movie off of this. This movie's great.
Jenna [00:44:43] Movie is terrific.
Angela [00:44:44] Yeah. Well, we'll put the recipe in our stories and Josh will show you how to make it.
Jenna [00:44:49] All right. Now let me try my punch. By the way, the punch. I should tell you what's in it, right?
Sam [00:44:57] This punch is insane, by the way.
Jenna [00:44:59] Insane In a good way?
Angela [00:45:01] I need a sip of water. I don't think I can go from beef stew to this. It looks like it looks like a rainbow ice cream in a cup.
Jenna [00:45:09] Well, here's what it is. It is cranberry juice, pineapple juice, 7UP. And then you mix that together and you top it with a scoop of rainbow sherbet, too. Here we go. Okay, everybody. And Ainsley. Cassie, you've got some.
Sam [00:45:28] I told you.
Jenna [00:45:33] It was more tart than I expected. The combination of like, rich beef stew.
Angela [00:45:41] And I can't believe you didn't take a sip of water between the two.
Jenna [00:45:44] Chased with this punch. Okay. Let me take another sip.
Sam [00:45:49] It's all areas of the tongue.
Jenna [00:45:53] It makes my. It makes my mouth want to expel it.
Angela [00:45:58] I don't know if it's because I've had the mayonnaise and olives, But I'm like this aint so bad.
Sam [00:46:06] This is fine.
Angela [00:46:07] Nothing can ever be as bad as that.
Jenna [00:46:08] Ainsley. Cassi. How did you like the punch?
Cassi [00:46:11] It tastes exactly the way it looks. And kind of like what I imagined unicorn droppings to taste like.
Ainsley [00:46:20] Yeah. It's way too tart, but it's close. But not as good as this punch my grandma makes for the holidays, which is just hi-c ginger ale and sherbet. That's really sweet and yummy and highly recommend, but so much sugar.
Jenna [00:46:37] Well, Ainsley, you saw me make it. I measured it per the instructions you did.
Angela [00:46:43] It looks like something like when our kids were young and we played potion. You know, like, make your own potion. And it was like, what do we got in the kitchen that I let them pour into a cup?
Ainsley [00:46:53] Well, you know what it looks like when you get one of those lush bath bombs?
Jenna [00:46:57] Yes. It's all frothy.
Ainsley [00:46:59] And then, like, stains your bath tub. Yeah.
Jenna [00:47:03] Well, I guess Wookiees really like a tart drink at the holidays, but um okay, so I recommend the Bamfa Surprise I would pass on the Joe Blast-o punch.
Angela [00:47:14] I'm not hating the punch.
Jenna [00:47:17] Okay. All right, everybody. Well, let's keep going with our breakdown. But I want to say, I. I haven't hated this experience. I feel like maybe, maybe my tone so far is communicating a type of grumpiness.
Sam [00:47:34] That's the highest compliment Jenna Fischer can give.
Angela [00:47:38] I didn't hate it.
Jenna [00:47:39] I you know, It's this experience. I look back on it with fondness in a way. Anyway, all right. We're going to get back on the Millennium Falcon again, and Han Solo is still having a hard time getting Chewie to his home planet.
Angela [00:47:57] Well, lady, the coordinates weren't the best, and they came out of hyperspace into an imperial convoy.
Jenna [00:48:04] I've got some gems from Han Solo. How about this line? This is one life day we won't soon forget. And this one? Why do I always think taking you home for Life Day is going to be easy? Why does he always think that?
Angela [00:48:19] I don't know. But guess what? I just lost control of the remote cannon's. I got to go to the back and operate them manually. How do you operate them manually?
Jenna [00:48:29] I don't know. We're never going to see. We don't spend too much time.
Angela [00:48:32] Well, now the Empire is going to declare martial law. No ships are going to be permitted in or out without further notice. I have one thing to say.
Jenna [00:48:42] One thing? Go ahead.
Angela [00:48:44] The number of times the empire has to pop on your TV screen, it's constant. They're popping up all the time to tell you something. I'm like, Can you turn it off? Why do you have to have these people just popping up at your bar, at your home?
Jenna [00:48:57] Also, I guess they can see you. They can just pop up and they see you. Like what if you're walking through your house, like post shower and they just pop up on your screen?
Angela [00:49:07] I didn't think they could see you. I thought you could only see them.
Jenna [00:49:11] Well, it's not clear.
Angela [00:49:13] It's not clear.
Jenna [00:49:15] Well, now Saun Dann is going to come over to the Wookiee home.
Angela [00:49:20] Yeah, he's got a toy for Lumpy. And I thought it was a sewing machine for Malla, but it's not. It's a projector.
Jenna [00:49:29] I don't know what he gives Malla, but before he gives her the gift, she got to give him a little kiss on the cheek for a gift she didn't ask for.
Angela [00:49:39] Why? Why? Why doesn't Saun Dann's shirt have a button or a zipper? It is like all the way to his navel. It is open.
Jenna [00:49:49] It's very open.
Angela [00:49:50] Lot of open real estate there.
Jenna [00:49:51] Yeah. He is going to give Itchy a proton pack so that he can get his mind evaporator working.
Angela [00:50:02] Yeah, it's like. It's like he sits down and like an old timey hair salon dryer and, you know, he kind of leans down to itchy and kind of smirks and goes, I mean, this is wow. And then if you know what I mean, Happy Life day. And I do mean Happy Life Day. And like, what's with the creepy dialog and what.
Jenna [00:50:22] What's with the creepy dialog? It's foreshadowing for what we're about to see. Here's what happens. Itchy puts this virtual reality headset on.
Angela [00:50:32] He sits under it. It's like a hairdryer.
Jenna [00:50:35] Yeah. And then Mermeia is this very sexy holographic image played by Diahann Carroll.
Angela [00:50:45] I just want you guys to hear. I want you to hear.
Jenna [00:50:48] Some of the things she's saying?
Angela [00:50:49] Yeah, let's just listen to it.
Jenna [00:50:51] She's wearing a sparkly wig and this off the shoulder gown. So just imagine Diahann Carroll look very incredible and Bob Mackie.
Angela [00:51:00] This is the gift that Saunn gives to the grandpa.
Jenna [00:51:04] Yeah.
CLIP [00:51:06] Yes. I can feel my creation. I'm getting your message. Are you getting mine? We are excited, aren't we? Just relax. Just relax. Yes. We can have a good time, can't we? I'll tell you a secret, I find you adorable. *repeats*
Angela [00:51:57] Yeah. He keeps rewinding it so she says it over and over. This is crazy to me. Grandpa is sitting in the middle of the kitchen getting off. Happy holidays.
Jenna [00:52:09] She's going to go on to say things like, I am your fantasy. I am your experience. I am your pleasure.
Angela [00:52:17] Experience me.
Jenna [00:52:20] Then she's going to perform a song. This was an original song written for the special called This Minute Now. And it is the least melodic song I've ever heard in my life. And I thought we should listen to some of it.
Angela [00:52:32] Really, because there's one more coming up that's going to give it a run for its money.
CLIP [00:52:40] If we could all live in this infinitely extended this minute, then I could live my whole life right now. Reality is sweet this minute.
Jenna [00:53:10] Okay. I can't anymore with it. Okay, that was enough.
Sam [00:53:13] It sounds like when you sing to your cat. When you sing to your pets.
Angela [00:53:18] Yeah.
Jenna [00:53:20] It really does. Can I talk to you, though, about Diahann Carroll?
Angela [00:53:29] Yes. Please.
Jenna [00:53:31] Diahann Carroll is such a freakin badass. She was an actress, a singer, a model and an activist. She starred in this television show called Julia. And this role was significant because it was the first American television show to star a black woman in a non-stereotypical role. And she won the Golden Globe for her performance. She also received an Emmy nomination. She didn't win, but she was the first black woman nominated for a primetime Emmy Award. She was also the first black woman to win the Tony Award for best actress in a musical for her role in the musical No Strings. She's very famous for playing Dominique Deveraux in the primetime soap opera Dynasty, and she has appeared on Gray's Anatomy.
Angela [00:54:23] She's a badass.
Jenna [00:54:24] She is an absolute powerhouse. And you know I'm sort of noting all of the cameo stars.
Angela [00:54:32] The level of their fame.
Jenna [00:54:34] These were like huge gets for this Star Wars special.
Angela [00:54:39] Yeah.
Jenna [00:54:40] And we haven't even gotten to Bea Arthur yet.
Angela [00:54:42] No. Well, now, Princess Leia and C-3po are going to contact the Wookiees. And, lady, this conversation, it's like, I know we keep saying this where you're just kind of like, What? I have to read it to you. Okay. I transcribed it. They come on the screen. And Princess Leia says to Malla, Happy Life Day. And then Malla says a bunch of stuff, right? And C-3po translates and says, she says, it might seem like a happy life day for you, but personally, she's seen happier ones. Princess Leia does not react at all. She goes, I don't want to tie up the channels. Can you put Wookie or Han on the phone? She's just told you she's upset. She's like, Yeah. Can you put someone else on the phone? Then Malla says a bunch more stuff and basically they find out that they haven't arrived yet. There's been no communication.
Jenna [00:55:37] It's the same information that we started the special with. Yes, we have to repeat it over and over again. Everyone who Malla calls are anyone who calls Malla.
Angela [00:55:48] But guess what Princess Leia's reaction is to this? She says, are you alone? And Malla says, No. I have a friend here. And Leia goes, Can I talk to him? Like what? What? Why? Why can't Malla speak for herself? So now Saun Dann comes to the screen and Leia asks him to take care of the Wookiees until Chewy's arrival and that she'll be contacting him again soon. She couldn't tell Malla that? She couldn't say, hang tight?
Jenna [00:56:19] Exactly. Malla can understand her. She could have just said that right to Malla, it's not like Saun Dann then translates it into Wookie.
Angela [00:56:26] Exactly. It's just hilarious to me that Princess Leia just keeps saying, Is there someone else I can talk to?
Jenna [00:56:33] All right. We're back on the Millennium Falcon. We're going to check in. Han Solo decides they need to land on the north side of the planet for safety reasons. There's just too much imperial traffic.
Angela [00:56:45] It's going to be a long walk. Chewbacca is not happy about it.
Jenna [00:56:49] Now there is a commotion in the Wookiee home. Malla and Lumpy assume that it is Chewbacca who has arrived at last. So she opens her front door only to discover two stormtroopers and an imperial officer.
Angela [00:57:05] Yeah, they sort of scan the place, and then they say, All right, this unit is occupied by four wookiees, two males and one adult female and one male child. Where is the other male?
Jenna [00:57:16] Yeah. Where is he?
Angela [00:57:18] The first thing they're going to do is check out Saun Dann's ID, and it checks out. But Lumpy is upset. He kind of growls at the guard, and Saun is trying to get Malla to come in the kitchen because he has a plan. He's going to try to distract the storm troopers. And he plays that music video box, which I think is the gift that he gave her for one of the storm troopers. And he watches Jefferson Starship.
Jenna [00:57:43] I was very confused because what are they distracting them from? They're keeping them in the home by engaging them in this music box. But really, everybody this is an excuse to get a performance from Jefferson Starship, taking you back in time. Jefferson Starship was huge. They were originally Jefferson Airplane, and you might know their hit Somebody to Love. Let's take a listen. * song plays * That's right. We love that. They were a very popular band. They're from San Francisco. In fact, they were one of the pioneering bands of psychedelic rock. Two songs from their breakout album, Surrealistic Pillow, were on Rolling Stone's list of 500 Greatest songs of all time. One was Somebody to Love and the other was White Rabbit. Remember that song? But shortly before this special came out, they had broken up, and a few of the original band members created a new band called Jefferson Starship.
Angela [00:59:18] Not an airplane.
Jenna [00:59:19] Nope.
Angela [00:59:20] Still a flying object.
Jenna [00:59:21] Correct. Still Jefferson.
Angela [00:59:23] Not Jefferson Submarine.
Jenna [00:59:25] No, no, no. Flying in the air.
Angela [00:59:27] Flying in the air.
Jenna [00:59:28] Could have been Jefferson Jet. Maybe.
Angela [00:59:31] Yeah. Jefferson Boeing.
Jenna [00:59:33] Jefferson Hot air balloon.
Angela [00:59:36] Jefferson Kite. All things that are in the sky.
Jenna [00:59:41] They went with Jefferson Starship.
Angela [00:59:44] Jefferson Big Bird.
Jenna [00:59:45] Jefferson Eagle.
Angela [00:59:46] This is making us loopy. Breaking this down is making us loopy.
Jenna [00:59:50] Okay. Well, in this special, they played a song that they wrote called Light the Sky on Fire. During production, though, the song was given a different title. This was the working title of the song.
Angela [01:00:04] So this is what would have been like on a script like now Jefferson Starship plays this song.
Jenna [01:00:10] They changed it to Light the Sky on fire when they released it. But the working title was-- I can't believe this didn't stick because it's rolled off the tongue. It is. It is, it has parentheses in it. It is 'cigar shaped object.' Parentheses vanished without a trace.
Angela [01:00:38] What?
Jenna [01:00:39] Can you believe that that name didn't stick?
Angela [01:00:42] Cigar shaped Object?
Jenna [01:00:45] Cigar Shaped Object Vanished Without a Trace was the original title of the song. This appearance marked Marty Balan's final appearance with Jefferson Starship. He was one of the members who broke off. The lyrics of the song mention a quote, great God named Copacone who, quote, came from the stars and vanished. So is Copaxone a cigar? Cigar shaped? Who is Copaxone? Do we hear about this person later in Star Wars?
Sam [01:01:28] Nothing comes to memory.
Jenna [01:01:30] We don't know. Okay. Well, the version that they played on the special was never released, but a shortened single was released. But rather than listen to it, Angela, I would like to instead take you back to the late 80s. To your middle school mixer.
Angela [01:01:49] K.
Jenna [01:01:50] So that we can listen to this song by Jefferson Starship. *We Built This City* plays. All right, I'll get up and dance with you. I'll get my high tops with my scrunchy socks. Crimped my hair. We needed this palate cleanser.
Angela [01:02:38] We did. We really did.
Jenna [01:02:42] We built this city.
Angela [01:02:44] We did.
Jenna [01:02:46] That was the song that we couldn't wait to come on at the mixers. When I was in seventh and eighth grade.
Angela [01:02:52] Yeah.
Jenna [01:02:54] All right. Well, we're basically going to go now from a five minute musical performance. To a ten minute cartoon.
Angela [01:03:04] Well, here's what happened. You know, lumpy. He kind of growls at a guard and the stormtroopers, like, really mean. They shove itchy to the ground. Lumpy starts freaking out. The general says, keep them quiet or else. Yeah. Or else what? So Malla puts on one of lumpy favorite cartoons. The stormtrooper walks over. He's like, What's this all about? And then quickly, Lumpy pretends to be playing like a video game. And then when he walks away, it cuts to he's watching this cartoon.
Jenna [01:03:34] Why he couldn't know that he's watching a cartoon. I don't know.
Angela [01:03:38] It's about the resistance.
Jenna [01:03:40] Maybe it's like. Right. But while he's watching the cartoon, the stormtroopers are going to supposedly search the residence. How big is the residence? I can see the whole bottom floor. And when they go upstairs, it looks like one bedroom. It's just it's not that large. When the cartoon came on, it's called the Faithful Wookie. And I didn't watch it.
Angela [01:04:03] I watched the whole thing.
Jenna [01:04:04] I just I just I couldn't watch it.
Angela [01:04:08] I watched it. It's much better than the holiday special. Truly. If you're going to watch anything, just watch this.
Jenna [01:04:15] Well, according to the Nielsen data, you can see that the ratings for the special falloff after the cartoon. People stayed for the cartoon and then they were like, I'm out.
Angela [01:04:26] You can find just the cartoon on YouTube now and you don't have to watch the special. But basically I'll sum it up for you. Luke Skywalker, C-3po and R2-d2, they're searching for a talisman. And the Millennium Falcon crashes on the water moon of Panam with the main characters on board. Then they run into Boba Fett, who saves Luke from a giant monster, and he claims to be there to help them. But as it turns out, he's actually working for Darth Vader.
Jenna [01:04:55] Well, here's a fun fact. This cartoon introduced the character of Boba Fett to the Star Wars universe.
Angela [01:05:01] Well, some might think that, but yes, it introduced everyone to Boba Fett in a television medium on a screen. But some fans might be surprised to know that the very first proper public appearance of Boba Fett wasn't on the big screen or even on TV. Boba first appeared at a parade for the San Anselmo County Fair in September of 1978. He was in a parade before he was ever on screen. He was in a parade.
Jenna [01:05:33] How did anyone know who he was? How do you end up in the parade?
Angela [01:05:37] Well, I will tell you. There is a documentary called Under the Helmet The Legacy of Boba Fett on Disney Plus. And it talks all about it.
Jenna [01:05:46] Well, there you go. I have a question about the cartoon because I did watch a little bit of it, and I am trying to wrap my head around it. So what's happening is Lumpy is watching a cartoon about his actual dad.
Angela [01:06:03] Yeah, his dad must be famous.
Jenna [01:06:04] Because his dad been made into a cartoon. He loved it. Now we're going to cut back and see that the Wookiee home is just being completely destroyed by the troopers and this officer. They found nothing. They've trashed Olympia's room, and then the officer is like, clean up your room. It's hilarious to trash a child's room. So funny.
Angela [01:06:32] They discover that lumpy's stuffed animal, which was abandoned had been decapitated.
Jenna [01:06:37] Well they ripped his head off.
Angela [01:06:38] I know.
Jenna [01:06:39] They're jerks. Lumpy is now going to, for a reason I didn't understand, he's going to watch an instructional video on how to rebuild his mini transmitter.
Angela [01:06:53] You kind of just have to make the jump that the stormtroopers wrecked it and now he's trying to fix it.
Jenna [01:06:58] I guess. This is going to be another comedy bit from Harvey Korman.
Angela [01:07:05] This is really just a bunch of physical comedy. It's the worst instructional video ever because the person giving it slowly.
Jenna [01:07:12] He's a robot.
Angela [01:07:14] Is a robot who slowly shuts down.
Jenna [01:07:15] He's like malfunctioning. Why would you publish this video? If you took this video? It's not live, right? It's not a live video. Right? He's watching a video. Like if we went on YouTube to be like, how do I fix my dishwasher?
Angela [01:07:30] And the one that you're watching is broken. It's shorts out as you watch.
Jenna [01:07:34] The robot instructor keeps shorting out. Why would you post it? Why? Why? Why wouldn't you get your robot in order before you posted the video?
Angela [01:07:44] I don't know.
Jenna [01:07:45] Okay.
Angela [01:07:46] But Harvey Korman does some really funny physical comedy.
Jenna [01:07:50] He does. He does.
Angela [01:07:52] Now, on the TV. I'm not sure why, but we're transmitted to Tattoine.
Jenna [01:07:57] We're at Bea Arthur's bar, Ackmena. Ackmena is played by Bea Arthur. She runs this bar. She is tasked with managing the bar. It's very busy. And now we have another character played by Harvey Korman. His name is Krelman. He has six fingers and he drinks liquid by pouring liquid into the top of his head. He's going to come over and he's going to order a drink. And I just really love Bea Arthur in this scene and I thought we should hear it. She's not taken any of his B.S..
CLIP [01:08:37] What'll it be? Hello? Okay. We'll do it your way. Hello. Now we'll do it my way. What'll it be? Can we talk? Well, of course we can talk. We are talking. You're not ordering, I'm not pouring. We are not drinking. We are talking. I'm moving this to make room for a drink. So the next time I say, what'll it be? And you tell me. I can put it right there. Yes, ma'am. Give me that. One of those. I'm sorry I couldn't get back before. For what? Until now. Until tonight. I thought about it a dozen times. I had to be sure. Excuse me. I have a customer waiting. I'll be right back. Come back soon. I'll be waiting.
Jenna [01:09:19] I just love her. I feel like she's the Joe Bennett of the Star Wars special. She's like, fine. We'll do it your way, Hello. Now we'll do it my way. What'll you have?
Angela [01:09:30] Exactly. Well, you know, I read that Bea Arthur's performance by all the critics at the time was singled out as a highlight of this holiday special.
Jenna [01:09:38] It was the highlight for me. This whole section. And this was all directed, her whole section she's about to sing was directed by the first director. And I guess there are some rumors that the shoot was 24 hours.
Angela [01:09:52] My gosh.
Jenna [01:09:53] It was a crazy, crazy shoot day.
Angela [01:09:56] I saw in an interview that Bea Arthur said she was cast as Ackmena thanks to her friendship with Ken and Mitzi Welch, two of the show's producers. They also wrote the song Goodnight But Not Goodbye.
Jenna [01:10:06] Which is the song that she's going to sing in a second. Bea Arthur's commitment to the reality of the scene is really incredible. She is so fantastic. These Imperial Guards are going to come on the screen and they're going to impose a curfew. Everyone has to leave the bar.
Angela [01:10:22] Yeah, she said, Guys, we're close and they're closing me down. You got to leave.
Jenna [01:10:26] But everyone saw the Imperial Guard come on the screen and and impose this curfew. It's not like she took a phone call in the back.
Angela [01:10:33] No, they pop up on a screen like they do.
Jenna [01:10:36] But no one will leave.
Jenna [01:10:37] They don't care. Why? Why won't they leave?
Angela [01:10:39] I don't know.
Jenna [01:10:40] Why Is she the only person afraid of this curfew?
Angela [01:10:42] She's, like, begging them. You guys, you got to go.
Jenna [01:10:45] She's like, I'll give you one more round of drinks and I'm going to sing you a song. And then you got to go.
Angela [01:10:51] Got to leave. She should have put on the holiday special.
Jenna [01:10:55] You know what? She didn't have it yet. She didn't know. Let me tell you a little bit about Bea Arthur. She was an actress, a comedian and a singer. She began her career on stage where she won a Tony for playing Vera in Mame. So she was really a famous stage actress, musical theater star. By the time she did the special, she was very well known for being in the comedy series All in the Family and Maude, for which she won an Emmy Award. The holiday special was pre Golden Girls, though. Here's a fun fact about Bea Arthur. She has received the third most Emmy Award nominations with nine. Do you know who's received the most?
Angela [01:11:38] Lucille Ball?
Jenna [01:11:39] No. Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
Angela [01:11:42] My God.
Jenna [01:11:42] Has been nominated 11 times. Mary Tyler Moore has been nominated ten and Bea Arthur has been nominated nine. Like real chops in the special, everyone.
Angela [01:11:53] Yeah, like serious, amazing talent showed up for this thing.
Jenna [01:11:57] Well, she does eventually get everyone to leave. They do finally leave. And one other fun fact about this scene is that some of the same aliens that we saw in the cantina in Star Wars are in the cantina again including the band.
Angela [01:12:14] Yes, I clocked that.
Jenna [01:12:16] Yeah. Do you know the band's name?
Angela [01:12:20] No, I don't.
Jenna [01:12:21] Okay. Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes.
Angela [01:12:26] Again. Very similar to your.
Jenna [01:12:32] Tell me. What is it? I thought it was Betsy Belly-Welly or something.
Angela [01:12:39] I'm telling you. Maybe you and George Lucas. Same brain.
Jenna [01:12:43] Yeah, we're really good at naming things.
Jenna [01:12:51] All right. Back at the Wookiee house, we hear an announcement the Imperial Guards are being told to return to base. Returned to base. But are they are they being told that or is that a trick from Lumpy who got his little device working? We don't know.
Angela [01:13:05] Again, there's just so much keeping up with the imperial soldiers. There's so many announcements. I would just have announcement fatigue.
Jenna [01:13:13] While the stormtrooper goes upstairs and catches Lumpy on his device. He takes it and he smashes it, and he chases him down stairs and all of a sudden, guess who walks in the door? Han and Chewbacca.
Angela [01:13:26] They made it.
Jenna [01:13:28] But the Imperials are still present. Chewbacca immediately runs to protect Lumpy. Han confronts this whole situation, and he kills the stormtrooper by tricking him into falling off the balcony.
Angela [01:13:42] This is probably why maybe they established how high up they were.
Jenna [01:13:46] Yeah, it's a very, very short fight. So all of this has been leading up to possibly one of the shortest fights I've ever seen in a movie. It's like two punches and a fake and then the guys off the railing and it's over.
Angela [01:14:04] Sometimes that's all it takes.
Jenna [01:14:05] I guess that's all it takes. The Wookiees embrace each other, and then there's this huge, what is happening between Chewie and his wife. What was that?
Angela [01:14:16] I don't know. First of all.
Jenna [01:14:17] It's like they're. They come together like they're going to kiss.
Angela [01:14:22] Yeah, but.
Jenna [01:14:23] But they don't kiss. They just sort of breathe in each other's faces. Yeah. What is it? Is it longing? Is it, Is she mad? Is she, like, my still kind of grumpy because you.
Angela [01:14:42] It looked tender. It looked tender. I don't exactly.
Jenna [01:14:45] Anyone back there. Did you? What? What was your take on that Chewy Malla embrace?
Angela [01:14:55] We've lost them.
Angela [01:14:56] They left.
Sam [01:15:01] Yeah, they just kind of breathe in each other's mouths for a minute.
Jenna [01:15:03] Yeah they don't ever kiss or maybe do wookiees not kiss?
Angela [01:15:08] Maybe that's their form of kissing.
Sam [01:15:10] No, Wookiees kiss.
Cassi [01:15:12] Wookies gotta kiss and, like, I don't know, Molly's been making that dinner, worried about him, and that's all she gets.
Cassi [01:15:19] I like how quickly you guys are, like, no they kiss. Let me tell you.
Jenna [01:15:23] No Cassi, my thing was that I thought Malla was, like, giving him, like, a cold shoulder, a little bit like he came in to kiss, but, like, he could tell she was still little pissed.
Cassi [01:15:34] Yeah, he's got a really, you know, win her back later tonight.
Jenna [01:15:41] I guess he does.
Sam [01:15:42] I love that you're writing back story for it.
Angela [01:15:47] You know, the one thing that really got me is just, you know how Han is like, hey, you know, you guys are like family to me, you know? And then I'm sure in the stage direction, it said, Malla looks at Han with adoration or something like that. But if you zoom in on Malla's face, the look is so crazy. The look is so crazy.
Jenna [01:16:14] Yeah.
Angela [01:16:16] Anyway.
Jenna [01:16:17] They don't make a lot of different facial expressions.
Angela [01:16:20] There's not a lot.
Jenna [01:16:21] Well, Han is going to leave. He's off. He's like, Bye.
Angela [01:16:24] I got to go.
Jenna [01:16:24] Where is he going for life day?
Angela [01:16:28] I don't know.
Jenna [01:16:28] We don't know. We'll see him later.
Angela [01:16:30] Harrison Ford just looked happy to exit stage right.
Jenna [01:16:33] But no sooner is the family reunited, then another imperial officer appears on the screen.
Angela [01:16:39] So many announcements.
Jenna [01:16:40] Now, this is an alert. There's a missing stormtrooper. They've already discovered that the stormtrooper is missing.
Angela [01:16:47] And this is why I think that they can't see you, because then Saun Dann is like, I got this. He puts in his ID, he's like, he robbed me and went off to the forest. And they're like, Thank you very much. We'll go send out a search party. Case closed. Done.
Jenna [01:17:03] Is it, though? Are they just leaving this stormtroopers body at the bottom of this tree thing? Where does that go? Also, how do you get up there? Is there an elevator? How did you get on the front porch of this thing? It's just it's built around a tree really high up. Like, do you zipline in? How do you get to the balcony to the front door?
Angela [01:17:27] Lady, you didn't zoom in?
Jenna [01:17:28] No. Is there a bridge?
Angela [01:17:30] There's an escalator.
Jenna [01:17:33] You're messing with me.
Angela [01:17:37] Could you imagine, though? Like a little escalator?
Jenna [01:17:41] What, though? Seriously, are they going to bury this? They're just like, tricked them. Like what?
Angela [01:17:49] There's a lot of things you've got to just make a mental jump for.
Jenna [01:17:52] Okay.
Angela [01:17:53] These are two of them. How do you get into the tree house? Yeah. What happened to the body?
Jenna [01:17:58] Okay, well, with the danger now past, Chewbacca's family prepares to attend the Life Day festival.
Angela [01:18:07] There's these gold glowing orbs, and they're wearing red robes that kind of look like they're in a church choir. And somehow they, are they teleported to this Tree of life ceremony?
Jenna [01:18:20] I think so. I'll have you know, in the Star Wars the Life Day Cookbook, it's not just food recipes. There are also instructions on how to decorate and dress for the holiday.
Angela [01:18:34] For life day?
Jenna [01:18:34] For life day. That's right. So you can make a life day orb if you'd like. Here is how you're going to do it. You are going to buy 12 clear glass ornaments, white glass paint and 12 balloon lights. And basically pour glass paint into a paper bowl. Hold the ornament by the top, dip it in the paint about a third of the way up. Let it dry. And then when it's dry, put a balloon light inside. The end. Or would you like to make a life day robe?
Angela [01:19:13] Can I just order one from my church?
Jenna [01:19:17] Nope. Here's how you make it. You're going to need two yards of red fabric. Okay. Scissors and two yards of red ribbon. And cut diagonally.
Angela [01:19:28] And that's it? That's it?
Jenna [01:19:30] Yes. Measure the fabric to the desired length of the robe. Cut a hole in the top. Put your head through it and then tie a ribbon around your waist. I'm not joking. That's it.
Angela [01:19:41] Come on. This is what you do like like if you want to be a ghost at Halloween. But you didn't get your costume in time, so you just cut a hole in a and a pillowcase for your kid.
Jenna [01:19:49] And this did not need a page in a book. No, this did not.
Angela [01:19:52] You know what that is?
Jenna [01:19:53] What?
Angela [01:19:54] Fluff. That's some fluff at the end. That's some fluff.
Jenna [01:19:57] Take us to the end of this special, Ang, tell us how it ends.
Angela [01:20:02] Well, I sure will. So everybody pretty much is all gathered together. There's a lot of folks in robes. Han Solo's there, Princess Leia.
Jenna [01:20:11] Luke Skywalker, C-3po, R2-d2. They're all there.
Angela [01:20:15] Everybody's there. And Princess Leia has a pretty big speech and then goes into song. I think we should hear it.
CLIP [01:20:23] This holiday is yours. But we all share with you the hope that this day brings us closer to freedom and to harmony and peace. No matter how different we appear, we're all the same in our struggle against the powers of evil and darkness. I hope that this day will always be a day of joy in which we can reconfirm our dedication and our courage. And more than anything else, our love for one another. This is the Promise of the Tree of Life. We celebrate.
Jenna [01:20:58] This reminds me so much of how I try to sing good at church.
Angela [01:21:03] Ha ha.
Jenna [01:21:04] yeah.
Angela [01:21:05] I love Carrie Fisher. Got a little bit of that for me, though.
Jenna [01:21:08] Yeah. Incidentally. You're hearing it now. This is set to the main title, Music for Star Wars by John Williams.
Angela [01:21:18] Yes. It starts to come in there. As she sings this, everyone slowly files out everyone in their robes that they cut a hole in and tied a ribbon around their waist. They're all filing out. And the camera pushes in on Chewbacca's face. He's kind of looking off in the distance. And we see a montage of scenes from the first Star Wars movie. And then it comes back to Chewbacca and his family. And they're sitting down for dinner with the gold orbs in the center of their table. They bow their heads as if to pray. And the credits roll.
Jenna [01:22:00] Yeah. There you have it, everybody. The Star Wars holiday special.
Angela [01:22:06] Yeah.
Jenna [01:22:07] Thank you, Cassi.
Angela [01:22:09] Yeah. Cassi, you are no longer allowed to write into Dear Office Ladies. I just want you to know you've been banned.
Cassi [01:22:17] Okay.
Sam [01:22:19] I want to know what your review of it. How many stars out of ten?
Jenna [01:22:23] Zero. Zero stars. Maybe one star for Bea Arthur.
Angela [01:22:27] Okay. Bea Arthur gets a star.
Sam [01:22:29] IMDb rates it at 2.2 out of ten.
Angela [01:22:31] Yeah.
Jenna [01:22:33] Generous.
Angela [01:22:34] You know what? Bea Arthur gets a star for me, and so does that first stormtrooper that says I hate fish.
Sam [01:22:40] So that's two.
Angela [01:22:40] Gets a one and maybe one and a half star.
Jenna [01:22:43] Well, maybe he gets a star. Here's what I think it is. Bea Arthur gets a star. Harvey Korman.
Angela [01:22:51] Yes.
Jenna [01:22:52] Three characters.
Angela [01:22:52] Yes, he gets a star.
Jenna [01:22:53] He gets a star. And then a half a star for the stormtrooper who doesn't like fish.
Angela [01:22:58] There's our rating.
Jenna [01:22:59] Two and a half stars.
Cassi [01:23:00] And, Jenna, can I ask, do you still consider yourself a Star Wars fan?
Jenna [01:23:05] Well, I never considered myself a fan.
Sam [01:23:07] This didn't turn the tides for you?
Jenna [01:23:10] No. Did not turn me into a Star Wars fan. Ainsley, have you ever seen Star Wars? Ever?
Ainsley [01:23:15] Not until 2019, I think I saw the first two.
Jenna [01:23:20] Okay, so as an adult. Yeah, and I did like them. I liked those three, but I'm stopping. I don't need to see any more of the world. But I really did enjoy Star Wars Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. But that is, I'm done. And now I've seen this.
Angela [01:23:42] I will watch all of them. This is my least favorite in the fandom, but I will watch them all.
Jenna [01:23:50] Well, a big thank you to Ainsley for joining us today for this recording. And thank you so much for your outline.
Angela [01:23:58] For watching it. We're sorry, but we had to have you here with us to bear witness to this moment.
Jenna [01:24:04] And we feel like as a gift, you should be the one to take home the Star Wars Life Day cookbook.
Ainsley [01:24:11] I am so honored. And I will take it.
Angela [01:24:14] Please, please make one of the robes and show it to us someday.
Ainsley [01:24:18] Yes. Okay.
Jenna [01:24:19] And also thank you, Cassi, maybe.
Angela [01:24:24] Maybe thank you, Cassi.
Jenna [01:24:27] Well, everyone, if you have an idea for an upcoming Office Ladies 6.0 episode, we'd love to hear from you.
Angela [01:24:33] And if your name is Cassi. Sorry, do not.
Jenna [01:24:36] Angela is going to post a link to our dear office Ladies mailbag in the Office Ladies Pod stories today. And remember, it can really be any topic. Just what do you want to hear us talk about? Please, though, can I have a break from fantasy sci fi? I'm begging you. Yeah. Can we make Angela watch a horror movie?
Angela [01:24:55] I don't wanna watcb a horror movie..
Sam [01:24:56] Yes.
Angela [01:24:56] I hate horror movies.
Jenna [01:24:58] Maybe.
Angela [01:24:58] No.
Jenna [01:24:59] Write in and let us know. And please join us next Wednesday for our interview with Kathy Bates.
Angela [01:25:06] My gosh. We were so excited.
Jenna [01:25:08] We'll see you then.
Angela [01:25:10] This sherbet and stew are such a disgusting combo. It's coming back on me in a gross, gross way. I drank my whole drink.
Sam [01:25:18] Yeah, I feel. I feel weird.
Jenna [01:25:20] Gross. I think we should end on that. Yeah.
Jenna [01:25:32] Thank you for listening to office ladies.
Jenna [01:25:34] Office Ladies is a presentation of Audacy and this produced by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [01:25:40] Our executive producer is Cassi Jerkins. Our audio engineer is Sam Keefer, and our associate producer is Ainsley Babaeko.
Angela [01:25:47] Audacy's executive producers are Jenna Weiss-Berman and Leah Reis-Dennis.
Jenna [01:25:52] Office Ladies is mixed and mastered by Chris Basil.
Angela [01:25:55] Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.