TRANSCRIPT
Office Ladies | Episode 279 - The Paper Ep 6: Churnalism
Jenna [00:00:04] I'm Jenna Fischer,
Angela [00:00:05] And I'm Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:00:07] We were on "The Office" together,
Angela [00:00:08] and we're best friends.
Jenna [00:00:10] And now we're doing the ultimate Office lover's podcast, just for you.
Angela [00:00:14] Each week, we will dive deeper into the world of The Office with exclusive interviews, behind-the-scenes details and lots of BFF stories.
Jenna [00:00:22] We're the Office Ladies 6.0.
audio cue [00:00:23] [musical sting]
Jenna [00:00:27] Hi Angela.
Angela [00:00:28] Hi doll, what's up?
Jenna [00:00:30] Not much. We both dug out of our closets some really cute little jackets today. Today's the day of the cute jacket.
Angela [00:00:37] My jacket, I have had since before Isabelle was born.
Jenna [00:00:40] And it's so cute.
Angela [00:00:42] Is it still in style? It's a little bomber jacket.
Jenna [00:00:45] It feels in style?
Angela [00:00:47] Sam's nodding.
Jenna [00:00:47] I mean, why would you ask me this question?
Sam [00:00:50] I think so, yeah.
Jenna [00:00:50] I don't know. How would I know?
Angela [00:00:53] This is true. This is what happens when neither of two best friends have any fashion sense.
Jenna [00:00:57] Where we start advising one another.
Angela [00:01:00] I like your jacket too.
Jenna [00:01:02] Thanks, I love it. I got it at that store. Oh God, what's it called lady? This is my brain.
Angela [00:01:08] The Gap?
Jenna [00:01:10] No.
Angela [00:01:10] Zara?
Jenna [00:01:11] No, just keep naming stores till we get there.
Angela [00:01:14] Anthropology?
Jenna [00:01:14] No, it's that one where you go in and they give you a little stylist. Like, you go and-
Angela [00:01:19] Macy's?
Jenna [00:01:20] No, the one where you go-in and then you pick stuff out and then they style you. Where they, like, fill in all the blanks.
Angela [00:01:28] Wow, that sounds really cool. Oh, Ever Eve!
Jenna [00:01:31] Ever Eve! Yes. I did it in Oklahoma City.
Angela [00:01:34] Those ladies loved you.
Jenna [00:01:35] Yeah, I needed a blazer. I hadn't packed a blazer and Lee wanted to take me out for an early birthday dinner because he was going to miss my birthday last year. I mean, this is going all the way back to March. And I said, "I'm just here for a blazer." And you know, of course, they were amazing. And they put a bunch of cute stuff in my dressing room.
Angela [00:01:55] Shout out to the ladies at Ever Eve in Oklahoma. Well, first of all, I think we need to take a picture of us in these jackets.
Jenna [00:02:00] I agree.
Angela [00:02:01] And do a little side by side.
Jenna [00:02:03] Oh my gosh.
Angela [00:02:04] I know you love a side by.
Jenna [00:02:07] I do. It's not really a side-by-side,
Angela [00:02:08] It's just us standing side- by- side.
Jenna [00:02:10] I like that too.
Angela [00:02:11] Well, we are kicking off this week's "The Paper episode." It's episode six, "Churnalism" and before we get to this breakdown, it's time for a quick little chit chat.
Jenna [00:02:21] Don't worry, we are going to do Around the Town. We're gonna get to that a little bit later. But first, let's hear this chit-chat suggestion from Darby in Iowa.
Darby [00:02:30] Hey Office Ladies, I absolutely love your podcast and I'm so honored to be chosen to read my question for you guys today. So I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I do find them fascinating to hear or read about. One of my favorite things about your podcast is when you do deep dives. It's fun to learn so much about random things. So my question to you guys is, what is a conspiracy theory that you could be convinced is true? Or maybe you already have one that you believe in? I thought it would be interesting to hear what you guys come up with.
Angela [00:02:58] Darby, we loved the suggestion. This both got our brains buzzing.
Jenna [00:03:04] It did. Did anything come to mind?
Angela [00:03:05] You know we both have one. I don't even know what yours is. Okay, here's mine. Should I go first?
Jenna [00:03:11] Sure.
Angela [00:03:12] Darby, I'm a little obsessed with Stonehenge, okay? So when I was in college, I did a semester abroad in London and I signed up for this bus tour. We loaded up on a bus and we drove to Stonehenge and I got goosebumps. It was foggy. These things are huge. They're huge. I also took my ye olde camera and I took tons of pictures. Then when I got back to my dorm room, I realized I hadn't put any film in it. I don't have a single picture.
Jenna [00:03:40] Well, what's the conspiracy about Stonehenge, that it's arranged by aliens or something? What is it?
Angela [00:03:46] When you go and see it, it's hard to imagine how these stones got there, how they got upright.
Jenna [00:03:54] Does anybody know how they go there?
Angela [00:03:56] Well, there's a lot of different theories and things. The thing that I think really kicked off some conspiracy theories, at least from what I saw online was in 2024. The science journal called "Nature" revealed that the six-ton altar stone at Stonehenge came from the northeast of Scotland and not Wales, like the rest of the monument's blue stones.
Jenna [00:04:18] Wait, there's one stone that's different than all the other stones?
Angela [00:04:21] Yes, and it's a pretty fascinating revelation because it really ignited the question, "How were the stones, some weighing 45 tons, transported and arranged to where they sit today?" I mean, there was no basic transportation. The wheel hadn't even been invented! The wheel was invented five centuries later.
Jenna [00:04:41] Wait, what?
Angela [00:04:42] Yeah, I know. So much of what scientists do know about the construction of Stonehenge is from educated guesses and constantly evolving research. The most recent of which suggests that, in fact, two of the largest boulders that make up Stonehenge have always been there, where they sit today, but they don't know where the rest came from. And so theories are, if not aliens, perhaps giants.
Jenna [00:05:10] [surprised] Giants! We used to be a land of giants?
Angela [00:05:12] [laughing] Listen, one of the earliest names for Stonehenge was, and I'm gonna say it wrong guys, Correa Gigantum. Which has been interpreted by some as "giants dance." So, you know, I don't know. Is this giving credibility to the idea giants used to roam the earth? Or aliens... Or who knows? But let me tell you, whoever arranged those was an amazing engineer, to make all that happen.
Jenna [00:05:41] But you feel it. When you're there in person, something feels eerie... Something extra.
Angela [00:05:47] It feels like... This doesn't look like it should belong here.
Jenna [00:05:53] I gotta go.
Angela [00:05:54] It feels really old. I felt like when I went there, like I was entering a time I didn't belong in. It felt very old. Like, I felt the passage of time from the earth.
Jenna [00:06:08] Wow.
Angela [00:06:09] So there you go. I don't know, Darby. Stonehenge is fascinating to me. That is a conspiracy theory I can get sucked into. What about you, Jenna?
Jenna [00:06:19] Well, I had a hard time. I am such a naturally wired skeptic, critical thinker. When it comes to these things, nothing came to mind for me. So I instead googled, "what are common conspiracy theories?" And I thought I could list them and maybe we could all just say if we could get sucked into them or not.
Angela [00:06:42] OK.
Jenna [00:06:43] Alright, Matt, Sam, alien abductions.
Sam [00:06:48] Yes, but I think a lot of the people that say they have them, haven't had them. But I do think it's feasible.
Angela [00:06:55] All I can ever think of is that SNL sketch.
Sam [00:06:57] Oh, the Kate McKinnon one?
Angela [00:06:58] Yes. Basically, if you haven't seen it, Ryan Gosling, he gets abducted and he has the most magical experience. [in a Southern drawl] "And they just, they surrounded me with love." And then Kate McKinney, like, has a cigarette and she goes, "Yeah, that didn't happen to me." Like, and they like came by and like swatted at her boobs. It's just hilarious. I'm sorry. Okay, go on.
Jenna [00:07:21] Matt, do you want to weigh in on alien abductions?
Matt [00:07:23] I think they've happened.
Jenna [00:07:25] Okay.
Matt [00:07:25] It's a meme, but I think they're out there.
Angela [00:07:27] Matt, oh we don't know very much about you and I am already just like ooooh hoo hoooo.
Matt [00:07:32] I'm not big on it but I could go with it.
Jenna [00:07:35] You could be made to believe. Here's where I'm thinking Darby's coming from. Like, if one day one of these things was proven true, you'd be like, "Yeah, I see it."
Matt [00:07:43] Yeah, fair enough.
Jenna [00:07:45] Okay. JFK assassination, one shooter or multiple?
Angela [00:07:49] Oh my gosh.
Jenna [00:07:51] I'm one shooter.
Sam [00:07:52] One shooter, but a lot of people planned it. I don't think Lee Harvey Oswald did it alone.
Jenna [00:07:58] I think he did it by himself.
Matt [00:08:00] I think I'm a one-shooter guy here.
Sam [00:08:02] Ugh.
Angela [00:08:04] This one is tricky to me because I think it was one shot, but I always wondered why he was assassinated so quickly right after. That part always felt a little cover-up to me.
Jenna [00:08:21] Lee Harvey Oswald then being killed?
Angela [00:08:24] Yes. Seems a nice, like, tie it up with a bow.
Sam [00:08:26] Yep, it's too neat and tidy.
Jenna [00:08:28] Alright, the moon landing was a hoax.
Angela, Sam, Matt [00:08:31] [in unison] No.
Jenna [00:08:32] The earth is actually flat.
Angela, Sam, Matt [00:08:34] [in unison] No.
Jenna [00:08:34] Then always that somebody is still alive or faked their death, Elvis, Michael Jackson, Tupac.
Angela [00:08:41] Yeah, I don't believe those.
Sam [00:08:43] No.
Jenna [00:08:45] What about fake Melania?
Sam [00:08:47] No, I just think it's just different makeup and styles.
Jenna [00:08:51] You know, she doesn't do a lot of public appearances, as first lady. So there has been a conspiracy theory that there's a body double that shows up in sunglasses and big hats for short photo ops and stands next to the president.
Sam [00:09:06] But that, the person being replaced by somebody, that goes back to like the Beatles and...
Jenna [00:09:10] Yes, Paul McCartney has been replaced by a look-alike is another conspiracy theory.
Angela [00:09:14] Oh, wow. Yeah.
Jenna [00:09:15] Okay. What about the New Coke conspiracy?
Sam [00:09:18] Oooh, what's that?
Jenna [00:09:18] Do you know about that one?
Angela [00:09:19] No.
Jenna [00:09:20] Do you remember, back in our childhoods, when Coca-Cola changed to new Coke?
Sam [00:09:28] When it was clear?
Matt [00:09:29] That's Crystal Pepsi.
Jenna [00:09:29] That's Crystal Pepsi, that's different.
Angela [00:09:31] But everyone got pissed off. They were like, "We don't want new Coke."
Jenna [00:09:34] Yeah, nobody liked it.
Angela [00:09:35] Right? That's what I remember.
Matt [00:09:36] Because they were going to get rid of old Coke.
Jenna [00:09:38] Well, they did. They got rid of old Coke. They replaced it with new Coke, and then everybody got mad. So then they came out with Coca-Cola Classic. And for a while you could buy either new Coke or Coca-cola Classic. So the conspiracy is that they intentionally changed to an inferior product, new Coke, to drive up demand for the original Coke. Which they then re-released with cheaper products and made more profit.
Sam [00:10:03] See, that just seems pretty straightforward business to me. I'll buy that one.
Angela [00:10:07] That seems like a little marketing strategy, but also it could just mean that someone sh*t the bed and then they had to scramble.
Jenna [00:10:16] See, I can't get behind that conspiracy. I think it's more likely just poor business decisions. Alright, well, finally, this is my last conspiracy and this is the one that I believed in. We finally got to my one. Bermuda Triangle.
Angela [00:10:32] Do you think that it's got some kind of magnetic field that makes planes drop from the sky?
Jenna [00:10:37] Yeah.
Angela [00:10:37] Or there's some kind...
Jenna [00:10:38] Like, I believe in it.
Sam [00:10:41] Where is the Bermuda Triangle?
Jenna [00:10:41] I don't even know. But I would never fly over it. I'm not going to sail a ship into it. No way.
Sam [00:10:48] Yeah, I think that's more superstition, though.
Jenna [00:10:51] But no, it's happened! All these ships and planes have been lost in the Bermuda Triangle, never to be seen or heard of again. It's not like they-
Sam [00:10:58] Is that where Amelia Earhart went down?
Jenna [00:11:01] I don't think so.
Matt [00:11:02] Yes.
Jenna [00:11:02] It is? We don't know.
Matt [00:11:03] I thought famously.
Angela [00:11:05] I'll tell you the Bermuda Triangle. It is loosely defined as a region in the North Atlantic Ocean bound by Florida, Bermudas, and Puerto Rico. And it kind of forms a triangle over a sort of deep part of the ocean.
Jenna [00:11:20] Is it where Amelia Earhart went down?
Sam [00:11:22] No, but there is a fringe conspiracy theory that I'm looking at it now.
Matt [00:11:27] The Amelia Earhart/Bermuda Triangle theory.
Sam [00:11:29] Conspiracy theory, yeah. It's a very fringe belief of that.
Jenna [00:11:33] Well, there you go, Darby, we dug into conspiracies for you. I hope you enjoyed it. That was fun for me. Now, there is one conspiracy that I did not mention, and it's because it was a chit chat suggestion. A single item to discuss in a future chit chat, and I think we should save it. But it's Bigfoot...
Sam [00:11:55] Oh yeah, we could talk so much about Bigfoot.
Jenna [00:11:57] I know. And, you know, Lee did some deep dive research on Bigfoot. I feel like I need to get him in here.
Sam [00:12:03] [laughing] OK, yes.
Angela [00:12:04] Oh, yes, and let's have Lee come in.
Jenna [00:12:06] Yeah, alright. Well, listen, why don't we take a break? And then when we come back, we're going to get into season one, episode six of The Paper, Churnalism.
Angela [00:12:14] Yes, and writer Eric Rahill (who also plays Travis) gave us some great behind the scenes details.
Jenna [00:12:20] He sure did.
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Jenna [00:12:30] Alright, we are back. As we said, this episode is called Churnalism. It was written by Eric Rahill and directed by Jason Woliner. Jason has also directed "St. Dennis Medical," "Nathan for You," and "The Last Man on Earth." Here is your summary: Ned takes over Esmeralda's advertorial department and enlists his staff to personally try out sponsored products, believing the move will strengthen both the paper's profits and its credibility. Esmeralda retaliates by commandeering Ned's story about a park bathroom shutdown, blowing it up into a dramatic investigative expose with Mare as her sidekick. What begins as a publicity stunt unexpectedly exposes a real scandal at City Hall.
Angela [00:13:18] You and I would have so much fun if you and I got to hit the streets and question someone at City Hall and bust 'em.
Jenna [00:13:26] I mean, we're going to get to it, but I thought they did an excellent job here.
Angela [00:13:33] I know. We asked Eric what it was like to be a writer and actor on the show, and this is what he said. He said, "I've mostly just acted before this job, so it's really crazy to see how much it takes to make a TV show come to life from start to finish. Hundreds and hundreds of people. I mean, maybe everybody knows that, but it really is insane." And I thought about that. I thought about the first time my parents came to the set of The Office, my dad was like, "All these people?"
Jenna [00:13:59] Yeah.
Angela [00:13:59] I'm like, "Yeah, dad, all of them."
Jenna [00:14:01] I mean, this is why we don't want AI to replace actors because you maybe only see a handful of actors in the project, but behind that are hundreds of people being employed.
Angela [00:14:14] That's right. Building sets and... I mean all of it. It's a real community effort to get a show or movie made.
Jenna [00:14:21] Well, listen, this episode is gonna start in the conference room. Ned is leading the team in a story brainstorming session. Esmeralda is going to pitch a story about the most effective face product in history. This is a new product. It's a face mask from Korea.
Angela [00:14:43] Yeah, she has made two posters, and one of them features this Ulzzang mask, if I'm saying that correctly. And I looked on the internet, and I guess it's a popular South Korean term literally meaning "best face" or "good looking." And you know, I was looking into these face masks, and I was trying to find one that was very similar to what Esmeralda is pitching. I couldn't, although I found one that the internet is raving about, and I brought one for me, you and Sam. We obviously can't do them today. I want you to go home and do them, and I want to report back.
Jenna [00:15:19] Wow! Exciting.
Angela [00:15:21] Are you ready? Look at this.
Jenna [00:15:23] What is it?
Angela [00:15:24] It's a Dr. Jart Cryo rubber mask.
Jenna [00:15:28] Lady, Dr. Jart is expensive!
Angela [00:15:30] I know. I bought it with my own money. I didn't use the company credit card. You guys, this one I bought is a firming mask. We're going to get firm, y'all.
Sam [00:15:40] Ooooh.
Jenna [00:15:41] I can't wait.
Angela [00:15:41] That's what she said.
Jenna [00:15:43] Okay.
Angela [00:15:44] Anyway, you each have one.
Jenna [00:15:45] Alright.
Angela [00:15:47] The other thing on her poster is a jawline enhancer. It says it's a game changer for men. I looked for one for us, but you have to order them. It takes a while. I don't have them.
Jenna [00:16:01] Well, I'm excited to just see what this rubber mask will do. Wow. It's very... It's a little creepy looking, on the package.
Angela [00:16:09] It is. I know.
Jenna [00:16:10] I feel nervous. But Ned is not impressed by Esmeralda's pitch. He's like, "Let me give you an example of a great news story." He bicycled past the park today and the restrooms were closed. He found out that they're going to replace those bathrooms with an e-bike kiosk. What's up?
Angela [00:16:28] What's up with that? Why can't the park have a bathroom?
Jenna [00:16:30] This made me laugh. Nicole said, "Esmeralda's article seems like clickbait." And then she said, "Ned's story seems like something my mom would text and it wouldn't be clear why."
Angela [00:16:42] It's just out of the blue.
Jenna [00:16:45] It's very funny.
Angela [00:16:46] So Ned has some Ned Sass. He kind of talks down to Esmeralda. He calls what would be her article "churnalism." And was like, "Who's ever learned anything from such an article?" And everyone raised their hands. They all feel like they've learned something.
Jenna [00:17:00] Yeah, Ned says, "I don't know if there's a place for this kind of story at the Truth Teller." And then Ken appears kind of out of nowhere and he says, "Actually, can I tell you a story of my childhood friend?" And I loved this story so much. I also loved Oscar in this exchange, so I wanted us to hear it.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:17:20] Now, I don't know if I've ever told you guys about my old childhood friend, Douglas Keane.
clip from The Paper - Ned [00:17:27] No.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:17:28] So Douglas grew up in a 10-bedroom estate in Cardiff.
clip from The Paper - Travis [00:17:33] Sounds sick as hell.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:17:34] It does indeed. Thank you, Travis. But do you know how Douglas's parents paid for this 10- bedroom estate in Cardiff?
clip from The Paper - Ned [00:17:42] No.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:17:45] Anyone? Oscar?
clip from The Paper - Oscar [00:17:46] Textiles?
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:17:45] Pardon me?
clip from The Paper - Oscar [00:17:46] Textiles?
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:17:49] Prostitution. We are Douglas Keane. This beautiful office is the 10 bedroom estate and these, yes, slightly dodgy click bait articles are prostituting themselves for us. Without them, the TTT will die in darkness.
Jenna [00:18:10] [laughing] I just, I don't know why I loved it so much. I did.
Angela [00:18:13] It's just a great conference roomy vibe, you know? Where people have these little one-off lines, because I love Travis in that, too.
Jenna [00:18:21] Yeah.
Angela [00:18:22] Well, you now, I asked Eric who are his favorite characters to write for and he said it's a tie between Barry and Ken. He loves them. I get it.
Jenna [00:18:31] Yeah, I do too.
Angela [00:18:32] And Ken has some great couplets of dialog in this episode. I'm going to mention a few as we go.
Jenna [00:18:36] Well, Ned says, "Fine, we'll do this article about this beauty product. In fact, why don't we do an article where we test a whole bunch of these products, but we have to review them with rigor and integrity." And now Esmeralda is mad. She's like, "Ned just stole my story idea."
Angela [00:18:56] So she's she's like, "Fine, I'll take your boring bathroom story and show you what."
Jenna [00:19:02] Exactly. So in the next scene, Ned enters the bullpen and he's got two big plastic bins full of free products for the team to test out. And he says that they have to be neutral and honest in their reporting and starts handing them out. He gives Nicole some kombucha. Barry gets this tooth whitening device, this thing he puts in his mouth and it lights up. Oscar is going to get a product that promises six pack abs without a single crunch.
Angela [00:19:30] And then this leads into an Oscar talking head.
Jenna [00:19:33] Which I really loved and I thought we should hear it.
clip from The Paper - Oscar [00:19:38] "Guaranteed six pack abs, no crunches required." Obviously I know these things don't work, but they may work for me.
Jenna [00:19:47] This is me. This is me, every time I see a stupid Instagram ad.
Angela [00:19:52] [laughing] I know, you're like, "This could work."
Jenna [00:19:54] I mean, I know that it's stupid, and then I just spend my money on it. Every time. Eric shared with us that this was basically the inspiration for this episode. He said, "I think the inspiration came from the writer's room talking about what 'health products' we've all fallen for." He said, "We loved imagining Esmeralda pitching this idea just to get free stuff." Eric said, "I've fallen for so many powders. Good God. Instagram ads have me in a chokehold."
Angela [00:20:28] You and I did trade messages, I was cleaning out my bathroom and I was like, "Here are things I'm never allowed to buy again. No more neck firming cream," give it a rest, pick one, stick with it. Like, I have so many cremes.
Jenna [00:20:42] You know what I don't need another one of? A hair mask. When do I have time to put something on my head?
Angela [00:20:49] I have so many hair masks.
Jenna [00:20:49] I wash my hair, then I have to put a hair mask on, and then I wait 10 to 15 minutes. And then I have get back in the shower? This is never happening in my life.
Angela [00:20:58] You know, what I bought?
Jenna [00:20:59] What?
Angela [00:21:00] I bought these pouches you stick your feet in. It's like a foot mask.
Jenna [00:21:04] Oh, I love those. My daughter and I love to put those on and then watch a movie. We do, like, movie/spa night. They have them for your hands, too.
Angela [00:21:11] I know but I'm good. You know I'm saying? Like, they last forever. I don't need to buy anymore.
Jenna [00:21:17] Okay.
Angela [00:21:19] Well Mare is now going to go into Esmeralda's office and she's like,"I'm here to, like, assist you. Ned thought I could help you out." And then you know what their dynamic is going to be, Esmeralda is going to run the show and now she has her Guy Friday.
Jenna [00:21:34] Well, did you see the book she's reading? I mean, she's taking this very seriously. I zoomed in on it. When Mare enters her office, she's reading a book called "Basic Journalism: Exploring the Fundamentals, a comprehensive study book for university level students."
Angela [00:21:50] Wow, I did not catch that!
Jenna [00:21:51] Well, for what it's worth, it's a real book.
Angela [00:21:52] Well, now Adam is going to test maybe some type of mushrooms. But Ken quickly comes in, tosses those out, and gifts him this packet. He's like, "Here, take these pills. They're, like, a supplement." Adam, without even looking at the package, takes the pills. What the hell?
Jenna [00:22:11] Yeah.
Angela [00:22:11] And this packet is called "Scorpion Sting" from Rudy's gas station. There's some type of, like...
Jenna [00:22:19] Male enhancement.
Angela [00:22:20] Male enhancement, like, it's gonna pump up his sperm count or something. Adam's instantly worried. He's like, "Oh God, I can't get my wife pregnant again." They have four kids. I have a few questions for Adam.
Jenna [00:22:33] What are they?
Angela [00:22:33] One, you don't look and see what you're taking before you take it? But two, he quickly downs them with water, thankfully. Cause if he drank them without water, it'd make me cringe.
Jenna [00:22:44] Okay.
Angela [00:22:45] Does that make you cringe, when people take pills without water?
Jenna [00:22:48] One of my pet peeves is movies where people open up a prescription pill bottle and then they pour just a bunch of pills. Like, they're in pain and they don't take the prescribed amount and then just put them in their mouth and then they chuck their head back and just swallow them dry.
Angela [00:23:11] Josh takes his vitamins like that.
Jenna [00:23:13] Don't. What?
Angela [00:23:13] He just puts them in his mouth.
Jenna [00:23:14] Dry?!
Angela [00:23:15] Yes! And I'm like, "I'm sorry. How in the hell?" I can't do that. And every time he does it, it makes me want to gag.
Jenna [00:23:23] Wow.
Angela [00:23:23] Anyway. Lastly, Adam, get a vasectomy. Snip, snap, snip. Shut it down.
Jenna [00:23:31] Well, he says his father-in-law doesn't believe in birth control. Would that be considered birth control?
Angela [00:23:35] Yeah, I also have a question about that. How is your father-in-law in your marital bed? How does he know your business? Who's telling your father in law? "Oh, we're not using condoms this month." Like, who's reporting back? Don't report back.
Jenna [00:23:50] I don't know. It sounds like they have a very enmeshed relationship with her parents.
Angela [00:23:57] It's creeping me out a little bit. Okay, so in the next bit Oscar, he gets this ab device, right? It's on a belt it looks, or something. He puts it around his abdomen. It looks like a little- Like a pulse-y thing.
Jenna [00:24:08] Yeah, they look like little stickers, like when you're getting an EKG.
Angela [00:24:12] Right. Or we actually have these little things you can put on a muscle that's tight or locked up. Josh has them, and they give you little pulses and they help work out the knot. Like, when I had tennis elbow, it was amazing.
Jenna [00:24:24] Oh yeah, I've had that at physical therapy before.
Angela [00:24:27] Yeah. So it's kind of like that. He's put it on his abdomen. It's supposed to, I guess, help you get a six pack. He puts it at a level three and he's in so much pain. He's like [grunting in discomfort], and then Adelola walks up and she's like, "I'm going to put it on because it can't be any more painful than cramps." Basically, Oscar keeps turning the notch up and it isn't until level nine that she like, "Okay, yeah, that kind of hurts." And he's like, "Holy crap."
Jenna [00:24:54] Yeah, and so then he puts it on at a nine and he's convulsing in the chair. It's amazing. I really need to give Oscar a standing ovation for his physical comedy in this scene. We also got a fan question from Yasmin Y. in Dallas, Texas, who said, "Great callback to Oscar and the ab workouts from the end of The Office."
Angela [00:25:16] Yes, I thought the same thing, Yasmin! I guess Oscar has always been a sucker for ab gadgets. I went back to the episode from The Office in season nine. It's the episode "Moving On," and Oscar has a talking head about it. I want you to hear it.
clip from The Office - Oscar [00:25:30] I watch way too many ads online, and I don't do enough sit-ups. So I bought these. Now, every time an ad pops up online, I get 30 seconds of ab blasting. I call it "ads for abs."
Angela [00:25:44] So he's always wanted to get a six pack. Anyway, it just cracks me up. I recently worked with Oscar, you'll see what it is soon. It's nothing to do with The Paper, but it was fun.
Jenna [00:25:55] Yeah.
Angela [00:25:56] But we were between scenes and Jenna, you and I were texting about this specific scene. So I was like, "Oscar, we got to know about this ab contraption because it looks like you're in a lot of pain." Like, "What were you doing? Was it really kind of pinching you or something?" And he said, "Oh, no, it was just these tiny little pulses. It wasn't painful at all." He said that was all acting. "In fact, when it goes up to the level nine, I wanted them to put a pillow on my desk because I wanted to slam my head on my but then I was like, okay, maybe that's too much."
Jenna [00:26:28] I can't believe it actually was doing something. I just assumed it was fake.
Angela [00:26:32] No, he said it was tiny little things, but his reactions were all his own.
Jenna [00:26:37] Alright, well now Detrick is gonna have a talking head and he's wearing his device that he's meant to be testing. It's a jawline defining device. It's a red LED thing that you put on your neck.
Angela [00:26:52] I looked online, there are several versions of things like this.
Jenna [00:26:56] Oh, well...
Angela [00:26:57] [excitedly] Did you bring one?!
Jenna [00:26:59] Yes, lady.
Angela [00:26:59] Have you bought one?
Jenna [00:27:01] I bought one for us.
Angela [00:27:02] Wait, did you buy this just because of this episode?
Jenna [00:27:05] Uh huh.
Angela [00:27:05] Oh, my gosh.
Jenna [00:27:06] I've been plugging it in all morning.
Angela [00:27:08] So wait. Basically, I got a firming facial masks and you got us,
Jenna [00:27:12] [the sound of velcro straps] This thing.
Angela [00:27:13] This chin strap thing.
Jenna [00:27:15] Yeah. Here, I'm going to put it on. Alright, ready?
Angela [00:27:19] Yeah, OK.
Jenna [00:27:20] Guess how much this was. $40.
Jenna [00:27:22] $21.
Angela [00:27:23] Oh my gosh, my face mask cost the same.
Jenna [00:27:26] What do you think?
Angela [00:27:28] It looks good, lady. It looks really good. I think you should wear it for the entire episode.
Jenna [00:27:32] Great.
Angela [00:27:32] See how you feel at the end.
Jenna [00:27:34] You tell me if my neck looks firmer at the end. Here's what the brochure says. It says, "Red light therapy boasts a broad spectrum of applications and health benefits."
Angela [00:27:46] Right now, you're reminding me of when my kids got their wisdom teeth out and they wrapped their chin with this ice pack thing.
Jenna [00:27:53] It says that the wavelength is particularly effective in managing acute and chronic pain conditions like sports injuries, joint pain, and inflammation. But it also improves blood circulation and alleviates pain and stiffness. It's giving me a headache. I'm taking it off. I don't want it.
Angela [00:28:14] Okay.
Jenna [00:28:14] I'll just have a saggy chin.
Angela [00:28:15] Lady, I'll have one with you. Why don't we take a break, because us and our saggy chins have more fun stuff to discuss.
audio cue [00:28:32] [musical sting]
Angela [00:28:32] Well, we are back from break. Before we get back to more of The Paper, it is time for Around the Town, which I really think we need a sting for.
Jenna [00:28:41] Yes.
Angela [00:28:41] Right? I wanna go back to ye olden times when we had a sting.
Jenna [00:28:45] Sam?
Sam [00:28:45] On it.
Angela [00:28:46] Yay.
Jenna [00:28:48] Angela, kick us off.
Angela [00:28:49] I will. This is from Josie W. in Syracuse, Utah. I'm so tickled by this, okay? Listen to this.
Jenna [00:28:57] What?
Angela [00:28:58] Josie says, it's bald eagle season in Northern Utah! Exclamation point! Bald eagles migrate from the mountains, and from colder Northern regions, and one of them comes to my little neighborhood every year. During January and February, we see him flying around the pond, perched on phone lines, and flying over our house. I'm a birder, and seeing a bald eagle so close and in my literal neighborhood is easily one of my favorite times of the year.
Jenna [00:29:26] I love that it's the same one that keeps coming back.
Angela [00:29:29] It makes me so happy. Remember when I had those ducks that would come and hang out in my pool, a few years in a row?
Jenna [00:29:36] When I was a kid, my parents had a Purple Martin house in the backyard, and we would just wait for the Purple Martins to come each season.
Angela [00:29:45] Look at that, I never knew that about you. Now, when I see your parents, I'm gonna say, "How's the Purple Martin business going?"
Jenna [00:29:53] Well, it's not going great. They moved.
Angela [00:29:55] They did.
Jenna [00:29:56] They brought the Purple Martin house with them. I mean, it not like they moved to a whole new state or anything. They just moved across town.
Angela [00:30:06] Yeah, I know. My ducks moved, too. Okay, well, Josie, I loved that.
Jenna [00:30:07] Alright, next one is from Izzy A. in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Izzy says, "I was part of a live podcast recording event in my neighborhood of West Philly, "best Philly," about the local Yiddish cultural community. I am part of a group of people who are learning Yiddish to reconnect to our ancestral language and also do Yiddish music, dancing, and theater. I'm currently organizing 53 people in 'Fiddler on the Roof,' in Yiddish."
Angela [00:30:37] Oh my gosh.
Jenna [00:30:38] "And I got to talk about that on the podcast. I'm proud that my little neighborhood has this much interesting culture and art going on."
Angela [00:30:46] I love that. And Jenna, you were in Fiddler on the Roof.
Jenna [00:30:49] Lady, I was The Fiddler in Fiddler on the Roof in high school, the musical. I was the Fiddler. It was the lead dance role because I was only ever in the dance chorus. I never broke out.
Angela [00:31:03] You're a very good dancer.
Jenna [00:31:04] Well, I mean, I was.
Angela [00:31:05] You know, every once in a while, there'll be a little song on, and you get your little hip sway. You do some toe tapping things.
Jenna [00:31:13] Well, I was trained in Bob Fosse.
Angela [00:31:16] Oooooh.
Jenna [00:31:16] It's a way you move your hips.
Angela [00:31:18] That's a flex.
Jenna [00:31:20] Little bit of a flex, but yeah. I had the lead dance role in Fiddler on the Roof. My dad's favorite joke, this is such a dad joke, he was like, "You know what, sweetie? Without you, it would just be called 'The Roof.'"
Angela [00:31:34] That's adorable.
Jenna [00:31:35] "That show needed you." So cute.
Angela [00:31:38] Well, Izzy, that was fantastic. Next up is Kelly M. from London, UK. Kelly says, "Dear ladies, happy new year. In news from London. I visited the Marie Antoinette style exhibition at the V&A museum yesterday. It was wonderful. Items actually used by the queen! Chairs, desks, tea sets, finishing with a room filled with modern designs inspired by her. 10 out of 10, recommend. Lots of love to you and the pod team from London."
Jenna [00:32:10] This is making me want to get on an airplane right now and see this exhibit.
Angela [00:32:14] I want to see the tea set.
Jenna [00:32:15] I want see it all.
Angela [00:32:16] I want to see it all, but I need to see the tea set.
Jenna [00:32:21] [sighs] Oh, what are we going to do?
Angela [00:32:21] We're gonna go to London.
Jenna [00:32:22] Are we?
Angela [00:32:23] [singing] Office Ladies in London!
Jenna [00:32:25] Lady, we are having a hard time planning our one day work retreat in town.
Angela [00:32:30] I know.
Jenna [00:32:31] How are we going to London?
Angela [00:32:32] Well, we're busy. We have five kids between the two of us.
Jenna [00:32:35] I know!
Angela [00:32:35] We're busy, but I mean, Kelly, I'd love to get there. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for writing in with your Around the Towns. Let's get back to the episode. Next up, Detrick lets us know that Nicole is really struggling. I guess the kombucha that she drank was supposed to be refrigerated. She is not gonna have a good time. She's gonna spend a lot of this episode in the bathroom. And Esmeralda calls Frank Durham, the administrative manager of McGundry Park, and he's very dismissive towards her.
Jenna [00:33:07] He is. Yeah, he says, "Listen, that's what's happening." But Esmeralda is not dissuaded. In fact, it emboldens her. She's like, "You know what? There's a story here." She thinks he was being dodgy on the phone. So her and Mare are gonna go down to the city hall offices.
Angela [00:33:24] And do some digging.
Jenna [00:33:25] Yeah, they go tell Ned, who has this insane blue face mask on his face. Honestly, it looks like the blue version of the mask you bought us.
Angela [00:33:36] Lady, this is what inspired me to get this mask, is Ned's blue mask. And guess what? You can get a blue one. It's hydration, but I thought we should get the firming one. [starts laughing]
Jenna [00:33:46] [laughing] What are you saying? What are your implying?
Angela [00:33:48] That's all we ever talk about is like, "How do we firm up our wobbles?" Anyway, Sam, sorry to lump you in that.
Sam [00:33:55] No, I'm good.
Jenna [00:33:58] Well, all of Hollywood is firming up their wobbles.
Angela [00:34:01] They're doing all the things and we've done nothing.
Jenna [00:34:04] What do they call it now? You look snatched!
Angela [00:34:06] Oh, snatched, yeah.
Jenna [00:34:09] You're all your neck is all, like, tight.
Angela [00:34:11] What's the term if you're not snatched?
Jenna [00:34:17] Us.
Angela [00:34:17] [laughing] Office Ladies.
Jenna [00:34:19] But here's my question. When you snatch up your face like that, when you do all that, what about your hands? Do you still have old lady hands? Or are you snatching your hands?
Angela [00:34:29] Here's what I told you when we were talking about this. I said, "I feel like it's like my house." My house is an older house. Well, guess what? We've got a leak in Cade's bathroom. It's going to have to be gutted and redone. And now Cade's bathroom is going to look amazing and the rest of the house is going look like ****. So this is what happens. You fix up one part and then the rest that isn't working is very obvious.
Jenna [00:34:52] Yeah, it's a slippery slope.
Angela [00:34:54] So if I did my neck, then what about my eyebrows? My forehead? It's a domino effect.
Jenna [00:35:01] Well, that's why I guess you have to do it all at once. Seems traumatic to me.
Angela [00:35:06] Yeah, and painful.
Jenna [00:35:08] Yeah, and expensive.
Angela [00:35:10] And so expensive. I mean, for that amount of money, just retire. Go off the grid. I won't be in TV. Like, who cares?
Jenna [00:35:19] I know. No kidding.
Angela [00:35:22] My gosh. Alright. Anyway. One of the things that does happen, though, is that part of Ned's face mask, a clump of it falls on a shirt and he rubs it off and where it landed it bleaches his shirt. So now he's freaking out.
Jenna [00:35:37] This is foreshadowing for how this face mask is going to go, by the way. So now we're going to City Hall. Mare and Esmeralda are talking to the city hall receptionist. They're like, "OK, so there was a hearing about the bathroom closure on the 13th. This was all on the up and up, this closing of the bathroom. This was approved by a vote."
Angela [00:36:02] Esmeralda's still not convinced. She sort of fakes this giant migraine and then she goes off into his office. She gets his day planner. She takes a picture of it. She sees that he was doing a trivia night whenever this meeting took place. He wasn't even there, this Frank Durham guy!
Jenna [00:36:19] Exactly. I want to give a shout out to Leslie Thurston, who played the city hall administrator. She was great. She studied at Groundlings. She's been in a gazillion TV shows, including "Parks and Rec" and "The Morning Show." I've also got a little location breakdown for you. Eric said Frank Durham's office in city hall was shot at the Freemasons hall in Pasadena. He went on to say, "I don't want to make any enemies of the Freemasons, but I think that building is haunted." I looked it up. We were talking about conspiracies earlier. I could find nothing about the Freemasons Hall in Pasadena being haunted. But did you know that Pasadena, California is the most haunted section of Los Angeles? They've got a gazillion buildings and parks that all have stories of being haunted and ghosts. There's this one park that people say is haunted by the Marx Brothers.
Angela [00:37:16] Wow.
Jenna [00:37:17] Yeah.
Angela [00:37:18] I bet you could do, like, a haunted walking tour of Pasadena.
Jenna [00:37:21] You probably could.
Angela [00:37:22] Or a driving tour, its kind of spread out.
Jenna [00:37:23] You could.
Angela [00:37:24] Yeah.
Jenna [00:37:26] Oh, lady, can I also say my favorite Esmeralda line? When she's showing Mare the pictures of her calendar (now they're outside, they're in the parking lot) and they're, like, "Look at this, there's no mention of a hearing, only trivia night." And then Esmeraldas says, "Yes, those kinds of men, they love to yell out facts." [giggling] It's, like, a very funny thing.
Angela [00:37:48] Well, did you notice the star sticker on her phone and all these stickers on her car, which looks like it's a Fiat 500X? I looked it up. Her car is also red. I feel like this red color is a theme for her. She almost always has a hint of red: red yo-yo, red flowers on her blouse, red lipstick, red dress, red car, and stars are everywhere.
Jenna [00:38:12] Lady, I became obsessed with these stars, like, two episodes ago.
Angela [00:38:13] I know! When I did a breakdown of her office, I mentioned they're on all kinds of things. There are star stickers on the lamp, on her frame.
Jenna [00:38:20] And they seem to be expanding. I feel like I keep noticing more. And like you said, I noticed them on her phone and her car. I reached out to Chelsea, Chelsea Frei.
Angela [00:38:30] Oh, what did she say? What's the scoop?
Jenna [00:38:33] I was like, "Chelsea, talk to me about these stars, because I feel this was Sabrina. Can you find out?" Was it her? Was it set decoration?
Angela [00:38:43] It's so specific.
Jenna [00:38:45] Chelsea was like, "I'm on it." So, Here's what she found out. Sabrina said that it started with an email between herself and set decoration, just talking about what Esmeralda's office might look like. Sabrina had really wanted the office to look personalized. So she brought in this sticker tape of stars, because Sabrina herself has always loved stars and she thought this was a really good overlap with her character. So they just let her start putting these stars wherever she wanted. And she stuck them on everything, including the car. Sabrina stuck them on the car. There's so many; they outline her window, her driver's door.
Angela [00:39:30] So did she stick one or two on the car and then set deck was like, "Okay, we'll take it from here."
Jenna [00:39:34] No, I think she did it. I mean, I'm not 100% sure, but Chelsea was like, "No, no, Sabrina stuck the stars on the car."
Angela [00:39:41] Holy crap.
Jenna [00:39:42] I know, isn't that crazy? I also have to point out something else from this scene. Did you notice that Mare's phone screen was cracked? They FaceTimed Ned to tell him about this find, and I just loved that little detail that Mare's screen is cracked.
Angela [00:39:58] She hasn't fixed it, so relatable.
Jenna [00:40:01] I know.
Angela [00:40:02] Well, I also wanted to point out, since they're filming outside, it's in a parking lot. We filmed outside in parking lots in the summer in Los Angeles. They're dressed in jackets and winter wear. Eric shared with us that the week they filmed this episode, it was crazy hot with temperatures over 100 degrees.
Jenna [00:40:20] Oh, my gosh.
Angela [00:40:20] Yeah. And he said that he and Jason Woliner, the director of this episode, they decided to do a food truck that week. Right?
Jenna [00:40:29] Yeah. So nice.
Angela [00:40:29] So nice for the crew, for everyone. And they picked a poutine truck.
Jenna [00:40:35] What's poutine?
Angela [00:40:37] Haven't you had.. I mean, it's like french fries with stuff on it. Like, gravy and cheese curds, but the gravy's hot.
Jenna [00:40:44] Oh yeah, they have those in Amsterdam, too.
Angela [00:40:47] Yeah. He said that this poutine truck arrived on the hottest day of the year. So people were having to eat hot duck gravy over french fries and in triple digit weather.
Jenna [00:41:02] Yum.
Angela [00:41:03] He said, "Not great."
Jenna [00:41:08] Well, it's getting close to the end of the day and Ned has gathered most of the staff into his office and it is revealed that he has burned his face from this face mask thing.
Angela [00:41:22] He also started taking everyone else's products. Like, he went overboard.
Jenna [00:41:24] Yeah, because they were like, "We can't do this anymore."
Angela [00:41:27] They were bailing.
Jenna [00:41:28] Yes, and he was like, "I'm gonna do everything." Lady, watching him put that lighted chin strap over his burned face and then drinking the kombucha...
Angela [00:41:40] It was like wound on wound for you.
Jenna [00:41:41] It was the same as someone getting punched in a wound. It really-
Angela [00:41:45] I thought about you.
Jenna [00:41:46] Thank you.
Angela [00:41:48] Well, now we're at the bar. I mean, Mare's gonna go undercover. Esmeralda has given her a makeover in the bathroom. She looks amazing.
Jenna [00:41:55] Do you think that is one of Esmeralda's dresses? This was my question.
Angela [00:42:00] Yes. I totally do.
Jenna [00:42:00] It looks like Mare is wearing an Esmeralda dress.
Angela [00:42:03] It's got the Esmeralda belt look to it. Ned shows up. He's like, "Why is she dressed like that?" And Esmeralda says, "She's undercover as a beautiful woman," and Mare is working it, man. She got Frank to confirm that he does do trivia every Tuesday night, including the 13th. This is very exciting.
Jenna [00:42:23] Very exciting.
Angela [00:42:24] They're exposing him. I was curious about popular trivia game nights at bars.
Jenna [00:42:30] What about them?
Angela [00:42:31] Well, I've never been to one. And you know what? I found a website called "Best Trivia Ever," and it lists different trivia themes and trivia night schedules nationwide.
Jenna [00:42:42] They're very popular.
Angela [00:42:43] They're so popular! But lady, I didn't realize how many different types of genres. I mean, obviously there's sports, movies, books, musicians, animation, television. I mean we know there's an Office one. There's also eras, like there's 90s night, 80's nights trivia. But listen to some of these categories. I just want to read you a few. They sound like so much fun to me. Action Movie Trivia Night. Celebrity couples trivia night. Stoner movie trivia night.
Jenna [00:43:15] Okay.
Angela [00:43:16] It's all movies where they think people get stoned.
Jenna [00:43:18] Or are they movies you watch when you're stoned?
Angela [00:43:21] I think they're movies where people are stoned.
Jenna [00:43:23] I feel like it's both.
Angela [00:43:25] Could be. Next one, Nicholas Cage trivia night.
Jenna [00:43:28] Is there a Keanu one?
Angela [00:43:30] I'm sure there is. And Sam, there's an Emily in Paris trivia night.
Sam [00:43:34] Good.
Angela [00:43:35] You would destroy that night.
Sam [00:43:38] Great.
Angela [00:43:38] Anyway, I just was very tickled that there's so many types.
Jenna [00:43:42] We've been talking forever about doing one. We never do it.
Angela [00:43:46] I mean, which one would you do? I don't think we can do the Office one.
Jenna [00:43:49] I wouldn't do well in the Office one. Unless we got my friend who I did Ashland Avenue with, Will, who won the national Office trivia contest.
Angela [00:44:00] Well, I think we would have to take Will and Billie Eilish. Then also from Boy Meets World, we'd need to take Wil Friedle. He has a photographic memory.
Jenna [00:44:10] Well, then we would win.
Angela [00:44:11] Then we would win.
Jenna [00:44:13] But non-Office trivia night, I would do good at a horror movie trivia night.
Angela [00:44:17] Oh they have that genre.
Jenna [00:44:18] I think I could do really well. Although I'm not up on a lot of the more recent horror films, I could do horror films in history.
Angela [00:44:28] I mean, we might do well at 80's or 90's pop culture, right?
Jenna [00:44:34] Sam, have you seen "Primate?"
Sam [00:44:36] No, I haven't. Is it good?
Jenna [00:44:37] I don't know.
Sam [00:44:38] It's a horror movie, right?
Angela [00:44:39] Is it about primates that take over?
Jenna [00:44:41] It's about a single pet chimp that turns.
Angela [00:44:45] I mean, this is a total fear of mine. Like, the minute-
Jenna [00:44:48] I mean you shouldn't be that afraid. I don't think you're ever going to have a pet chimp.
Angela [00:44:51] Well, you guys know, I've had so many monkeys -
Sam [00:44:53] There's so many ways to avoid this scenario.
Angela [00:44:55] I've had so many monkeys attack me. You know this.
Sam [00:44:58] No, I don't- [starts laughing]
Angela [00:44:59] Come on, I did an open mic night -
Sam [00:45:03] I wasn't there.
Angela [00:45:02] called "When Monkeys Attack, Me." I've talked about this.
Jenna [00:45:07] [laughing] This is the title? When Monkeys Attack... Me. That's very funny.
Sam [00:45:10] That's great.
Angela [00:45:12] Yes.
Sam [00:45:12] Are you still doing it? Can I still come see it?
Angela [00:45:14] No, it was an improv night and when you got a suggestion and actually "monkeys" was a suggestion. I was like, "Well..."
Jenna [00:45:21] Well, I knew that one-armed monkey attacked you, your friend's one-armed monkey.
Angela [00:45:23] Yes, yes, Becky's one-armed monkey. It was a gibbon monkey. Okay, this was the 70's in Indonesia, and some people had monkeys as pets. My family did not, but Becky's had rescued this one-arm gibbon, and they built an enclosure for it. She brought me inside it to meet the monkey. Then it started kind of going through the hair on my arm, like, looking for bugs. And Becky laughed, and I swatted at her like, "Ha, stop it." When I swatted at her (this monkey loved Becky), the monkey freaked out, started to bite me. I had a little light jacket on, started to bite me through my jacket. And then after that, whenever I was there, it would swing by the kitchen nook. They had a window.
Sam [00:46:05] Mm-hmm.
Angela [00:46:05] And it would open its legs and piss on the window, every time it saw me.
Jenna [00:46:10] But there's more than that? You've been attacked by more monkeys than that?!
Angela [00:46:13] When I was in elementary school in Indonesia, the word orangutan in Indonesian means "person of the forest." So we went to this orangutan sanctuary, [notices Sam laughing]
Sam [00:46:26] I'm laughing because you assume the listener knows so much. No, I didn't know that. Of course, I didn't know that.
Jenna [00:46:34] Exactly, I'm like, what?
Sam [00:46:34] Why would I know that?
Angela [00:46:36] Anyway, we go to this sanctuary and they have this big mama orangutan and they're letting these second and third graders, they go up and you get to hold her hand and you take a picture.
Jenna [00:46:53] Uh-oh.
Angela [00:46:54] First of all, we're the same size cause I'm in second grade and I'm tiny. Maybe I was in first grade. Anyway, she holds my hand. And she just starts swinging my arm, like, swinging my arms, and then she swung up and then went, boom, and I face planted.
Sam [00:47:09] Like, flipped you over?
Angela [00:47:12] Like, on my face. But she was so happy. Like, it was like don't know... Anyway. So orangutan face planted me.
Jenna [00:47:21] Is there another one?
Sam [00:47:22] There's more?! There can't be a third one...
Angela [00:47:22] There's a third one. Rule of threes. So I had the one armed gibbon bite me, mama orangutan face plant me and then I was in Indonesia years later, I was older. I was at Uluwatu, which is this beautiful temple on the ocean. But there monkeys everywhere. They say to you that the monkeys are "nakal," which means they're kind of mischievous, right?
Sam [00:47:46] Sure.
Angela [00:47:48] So you have to be careful: don't wear glasses, water bottles, no earrings, nothing dangling, because they'll just jump on you and take them. I had these tiniest hoop earrings. They're so tiny, the kind that don't even leave room for your skin, you know? They're just flat to your earlobe.
Jenna [00:48:05] Sure.
Angela [00:48:05] So I thought, "That doesn't dangle." I'm standing there, I'm looking out at the ocean. I'm like, "Oh, this is so beautiful." There's a monkey in the tree. It literally torpedo jumps onto my shoulder and rips the earring out of my ear.
Jenna [00:48:20] Oh my God!
Sam [00:48:21] Oh, it tore your ear?
Angela [00:48:22] No, it didn't. It just popped right out. But I literally turned into the most southern person. I was like, [in a very Southern accent] "Oh my lord"
Sam [00:48:27] [laughing]
Angela [00:48:29] And then it had my earring up in the tree, and it was kind of gnawing on my earring. This guy that was kind of guiding everyone through the temple, he had these little bananas and he traded. He looked at the monkey and he was like, "You want a banana?" And the monkey's like, "You want this earring?" And they went back and forth and then they traded, and I got my earring back.
Sam [00:48:47] Oh, so you think the monkey knew to do that to get a banana?
Angela [00:48:50] I don't know.
Jenna [00:48:51] I mean, here's my thing about these three incidents. Yes, they all involve primates. They also all involve Indonesia.
Sam [00:49:01] And trying to domesticate them.
Jenna [00:49:03] And human error.
Sam [00:49:07] Yeah. All three of these weren't monkeys you should have been near, in any scenario.
Angela [00:49:10] Well, the temple, they're everywhere. So if you go to a temple anywhere in Bali, the monkeys are there and you leave them alone. It's their temple. I mean, that's their area, you know. So you don't mess with them, but they're everywhere. Anyway, I don't know how we got off on that. You asked him if he saw Primate.
Jenna [00:49:30] I just asked if he'd seen the horror film Primate.
Angela [00:49:33] So anyway... I'm convinced, let's say you had a chimpanzee and I went over, I'm like, "It's coming for me."
Jenna [00:49:40] I'm never going to have one!
Angela [00:49:41] Well, I just... I am just convinced that monkeys...
Sam [00:49:44] Easiest scenario to avoid.
Angela [00:49:44] Like, I'm not getting around a monkey. It's coming for me.
Jenna [00:49:47] I mean, I have not a single monkey story.
Sam [00:49:49] Yeah, your ability to drop such deep Angela lore, so casually, is one of my favorite things about you. You've never mentioned this before.
Angela [00:49:57] I swear, I thought you guys knew this in all these years about all the monkeys. I actually have more, I'll save it for another day.
Jenna [00:50:06] I can't believe there's more. I look forward to it. Well, this was a tangent.
Angela [00:50:11] It's a true, classic tangent.
Jenna [00:50:13] Well, I've got a fact. Do you want me to bring us back to the episode with a little fact?
Angela [00:50:17] I'm sure everybody wants you to bring this back. Everyone listening right now is like, "Good Lord."
Jenna [00:50:23] [laughing] Alright, well listen, when Ned shows up at this bar, his face is peeling off in huge sections. It's red, it's flaking off. And I was really curious, how did they do this? Because we know that this would have been an elaborate makeup test.
Angela [00:50:43] And it also would have had to have continuity. Like, "Okay, this is the fifth hour into this face mask. What does that look like? What does that look like?"
Jenna [00:50:50] And it does, his face progresses, it gets worse and worse. So I reached out to Kelly Cantley, who put me in touch with Autumn Butler, the makeup artist for this episode. Thank you so much, Kelly. Autumn said that this was a very fun makeup to design and that Greg Daniels had very specific ideas. Greg definitely did not want it to look or feel like an actual condition that somebody would really have in real life. He didn't want anyone to feel like they were being made fun of about any actual real life problem they might be experiencing. He also wanted it to feel very, as Autumn put it, "charismatically comedic." So Autumn said that they tested this makeup for two days to find the perfect look and texture. Greg really wanted it to look like a snake that was molting and shedding and sheets and layers.
Angela [00:51:47] Oh, it does look like that by the end.
Jenna [00:51:49] He also wanted pieces that could be peeled away on camera. So they had to create both this makeup that was on his face and also this interactive piece. So Autumn said that first they tried it with silicone. They tried melted pieces of bald caps. They tried latex strips, but nothing was giving the right feel. So in the end, she created a mixture of Elmer's glue and Duo eyelash glue applied to his face in really thin layers. And then they scrunched up his face and started peeling portions off. She said it was like a total old fashioned arts and crafts project.
Angela [00:52:32] I mean, how was his skin in real life?
Jenna [00:52:35] I didn't ask her.
Angela [00:52:38] I mean, he's wearing glue.
Jenna [00:52:40] But she said that they also made sheets of fake skin with that same Elmer's/lash glue mixture. And they spread it out on wax paper. And then they let it dry. And then, they would peel that off and those were the pieces that they would use. They would just attach it very slightly to his skin. Then that would be the piece that he pulled off, interactively. Then Eric said that he remembered the test process for this whole thing. He said that it was very thorough. He remembered Autumn from makeup, hired somebody to do the test makeup. Isn't that a crazy job?
Angela [00:53:17] Yeah.
Jenna [00:53:18] You get hired to just come in and let them test stuff on you. So anyway, Eric said that Autumn brought this guy into the writer's room. He thinks it was, like, four times before Greg approved the makeup.
Angela [00:53:35] Look how much went into this one gag.
Jenna [00:53:37] I know!
Angela [00:53:38] Wow.
Jenna [00:53:39] Eric also said, "If I were Ned, I would have gone to the hospital, if my skin looked like that. But I understand he's just very passionate about journalism."
Angela [00:53:47] Well, we do find out that in the end, his skin ends up looking amazing.
Jenna [00:53:51] The next day, he's glowing.
Angela [00:53:53] Glowing.
Jenna [00:53:54] It comes around. And just to keep throwing facts at you, I have a location breakdown for the Macaroni Barn. First of all, there's no Macaroni Barn in Toledo, Ohio, but there is a Spaghetti Warehouse. Coincidence? Inspired by?
Angela [00:54:11] Perhaps.
Jenna [00:54:13] Eric shared that the interior and exterior of the Macaron Barn were two different places. We've done that before. We did that with Poor Richard's, on The Office.
Angela [00:54:21] Yep.
Jenna [00:54:22] The interior of Macaroni Barn was shot at the Smokehouse next to the Universal Lot. The exterior is actually a fakie front restaurant on the Universal lot, right across from the high school from "Back to the Future." So if you go on the little Universal bus tour, you could see it.
Angela [00:54:44] So the following morning, we do have this little wrap-up scene between Ken and Adam. I just loved Ken in this episode. I get why Eric loved writing for him. Ken says, "How are you feeling? More importantly, did you make mad, ravenous scorpion love to your wife?" We find out from Adam they did it, like, three times and Ken's like, "Wow, three times. Big man, love that." Then Adam's like, "Maybe they were just sugar pills because three times is pretty standard for us."
Jenna [00:55:09] I mean, no wonder he has four kids.
Angela [00:55:11] No wonder. Snip, snap, Adam. And then we have a little hint at maybe a romance.
Jenna [00:55:20] Between who?
Angela [00:55:21] Ned and Mare. He clearly thought she looked beautiful, but he was like, "Listen, I'm sorry if Esmeralda made you dress up like that. I know that's not something you like." She's like, "What are you talking about? I like dressing up." And he was, "Yeah, but you know, you're asexual, so..." And she was like, "Why would you think that?" And then he's like, [shouting] "Esmeralda!" He's so ticked off. He's like, "Esmeralda, you told me..." And Mare is like, "It doesn't matter what she told you. What kind of journalists are you? You didn't even ask me? You didn't even follow up?"
Jenna [00:55:51] But I mean, he's her boss.
Angela [00:55:53] I know!
Jenna [00:55:53] How can he go to her and ask her about her sexuality? He's not allowed to do that.
Angela [00:55:56] I know. So it's like, "I get it."
Jenna [00:55:59] Like, I thought it was cool of him to be like, "Hey, listen, I hope that whole thing didn't put you in an uncomfortable situation. In general, you shouldn't have to be flirting with men and sources in order to get a story."
Angela [00:56:15] He was trying to be appropriate.
Jenna [00:56:16] He was!
Angela [00:56:18] Well, this episode ends with a Ned talking head. He's just perplexed. He's like, "Why is she mad at me? Some people are just sensitive." And then he's like, "She didn't even notice how revitalized I was."
Jenna [00:56:29] Exactly, and that's the end of the episode everybody.
Angela [00:56:33] Thank you to everyone who sent in their Around the Towns and to Darby for our chit chat.
Jenna [00:56:38] Yes, and also a big thank you to Eric Rahill, Kelly Cantley, Autumn Butler, Sabrina Impacciatore, and Chelsea Frei for some great behind the scenes nuggets on this one.
Sam [00:56:49] Great, before we go, I have something for you guys.
Jenna [00:56:50] What is it?
Angela [00:56:51] Don't say it's a monkey.
Sam [00:56:52] No. Okay. You guys know at the end of "A Christmas Carol," he opens the door and he goes, "What day is today?" And the kid goes, "Today, it's Christmas day?" I wanted that to have this energy.
audio cue [00:57:02] AROUND THE TOWN! [fireworks popping]
Jenna [00:57:06] We have it!
Sam [00:57:07] Yeah, there you go.
Angela [00:57:07] We have our Around the Town! Thanks, Sam!
Sam [00:57:10] Yep.
Angela [00:57:10] You were working on that while we were doing the episode.
Sam [00:57:12] I was.
Angela [00:57:13] Oh, I love that. Alright, you guys. Well, we hope you have a great week. We appreciate you all, and we'll see you next time.
Jenna [00:57:18] See you then.
audio cue [00:57:27] [outro plays]
Jenna [00:57:28] Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.
Angela [00:57:29] Office Ladies is a presentation of Audacy and is produced by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:57:35] Our senior producer is Matt Beagle. Our audio engineer is Sam Kieffer. And our associate producer is Aynsley Bubbico.
Angela [00:57:42] Audacy's executive producer is Leah Reis-Dennis.
Jenna [00:57:45] Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.
Angela [00:57:48] Our theme song is "Rubber Tree" by Creed Bratton.