TRANSCRIPT
Office Ladies | Episode 280 - The Paper Ep 7: I Love You
Jenna [00:00:00] I'm Jenna Fischer,
Angela [00:00:00] and I'm Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:00:02] We were on The Office together,
Angela [00:00:03] and we're best friends.
Jenna [00:00:05] And now we're doing the ultimate Office lover's podcast, just for you.
Angela [00:00:10] Each week, we will dive deeper into the world of "The Office" with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details, and lots of BFF stories.
Jenna [00:00:17] We're the Office Ladies 6.0.
audio cue [00:00:22] [musical sting]
Jenna [00:00:23] Hello.
Angela [00:00:23] Hello. I want to wish you guys all the best day ever.
Jenna [00:00:26] You're very chipper.
Angela [00:00:28] I am.
Jenna [00:00:29] Nice. I love it.
Angela [00:00:31] I had some of those yogurt covered gummy bears.
Jenna [00:00:35] Wait, what?
Angela [00:00:36] You haven't had a yogurt covered Gummy Bear?
Jenna [00:00:39] It sounds medicinal.
Angela [00:00:41] It's not.
Jenna [00:00:42] These are regular gummy bears covered in yogurt?
Sam [00:00:43] Yeah, how much THC is in them?
Angela [00:00:44] There's none. There's none! I got them at Christmas.
Jenna [00:00:50] From who?
Angela [00:00:52] [laughing] From Audacy.
Sam [00:00:52] To be fair, your energy does seem subdued today.
Angela [00:00:57] Wait, you got them as well. They were in our Christmas basket that they sent, that was so nice. And I was digging through that random snack store in the pantry. Josh was like, "We got to clean out this snack drawer." He decided to do it five minutes before I was walking out the door. But I was like, "I'll take these yogurt covered gummies," and I ate them in the car. I don't know what to tell you. They're really good. I mean, they're a couple of months old, but they held up.
Jenna [00:01:22] Okay, I'll look for them.
Angela [00:01:24] Highly recommend. How are you today?
Jenna [00:01:29] Lady, I've been better and I'll tell you why. I am so full of eggs.
Angela [00:01:39] Eggs?
Jenna [00:01:40] I don't think I've ever consumed so many eggs and I'm sad about it. It's not going great for me.
Angela [00:01:49] I'm so confused by this. Did you just make yourself a huge old omelet this morning?
Jenna [00:01:54] So, I'm trying to eat more protein to build my lean mass with my weight lifting, and so I asked ChatGPT...
Angela [00:02:05] Oh no.
Jenna [00:02:06] To suggest some high protein meals.
Angela [00:02:11] What did it say?
Jenna [00:02:12] It said that a great breakfast is two eggs plus three quarters of a cup of egg whites.
Angela [00:02:21] Ew.
Jenna [00:02:23] Scrambled. And a piece of toast with some avocado.
Angela [00:02:29] What are you gonna go chop down a tree? That's, like, a lumberjack breakfast.
Jenna [00:02:32] Lady, can I show you a picture of how many eggs I ate this morning? I made them and I was like, "This would serve a family." That's a large plate, and I ate them.
Angela [00:02:45] You ate all of them.
Jenna [00:02:46] I did it.
Angela [00:02:46] Do you feel a little gross? You do.
Jenna [00:02:48] I never want to eat another egg for the rest of my life. I went to ChatGPT and I wrote,
Angela [00:02:55] Were you like, "Screw you?"
Jenna [00:02:55] I said, "Hey, that was too many eggs for me. Could I get a different breakfast that's just as high in protein, but less volume?" And so it gave me some other suggestions I'll try, maybe tomorrow. But I still, I'm not over it. It was three hours ago.
Angela [00:03:13] Yeah, you're egg-heavy.
Jenna [00:03:14] I am. I should have had the gummy bear things you're talking about. I'd be in a better mood.
Angela [00:03:21] Except I'm probably going to sugar crash in, like, 15 minutes.
Jenna [00:03:24] Well, my body better be making muscle right now. That's all I have to say.
Angela [00:03:27] Alright,body, get on it.
Jenna [00:03:29] Listen, let's get to our fan chit chat question of the week. This one is coming in from Jonathan S. in Tampa, Florida. Jonathan wanted us to read his suggestion and here's what it is. Jonathan says, "Who is responsible for raising and lowering the toilet seat when at least one person in the household stands up to urinate?"
Angela [00:03:49] Oh, well, Jonathan, this sounds like you're ready to pick a fight. This might get spicy.
Jenna [00:03:58] I have the answer to this question and no one will ever have to wonder again, but I'd like you guys to weigh in as well.
Angela [00:04:06] Okay. Well, we've got two gals and two dudes here today. Matt? Sam?
Matt [00:04:10] Can I say something?
Angela [00:04:11] Yes, Matt.
Matt [00:04:13] To me, this one's a no-brainer. Everyone's responsible for lowering. The seat should be lowered at all times. This was one of the three main things, I think, my mom taught me from my childhood. Don't smoke cigarettes, don't drink and drive, and lower the toilet seat every time.
Jenna [00:04:30] So your mom's point is, "If you raise it, then lower it."
Matt [00:04:34] Correct, no-brainer.
Sam [00:04:36] Yep, same with my mom. And don't use your teeth to open things like packages. You only get one set of teeth.
Jenna [00:04:41] Gosh, I love how this has segued into advice from our moms. This is terrific.
Jenna [00:04:46] Yeah. My mom was like, "This is the bathroom etiquette. You lower the seat. If you raised it, you lower it." She also said, "Angela, men live their lives by the pecker between their legs. Remember that." She told me that when I was 16. I was like, "Oh, is this your version of a sex talk?"
Sam [00:05:07] I was going to say, that you picked up zero sexual phrases since then. That's the last one said to you that made sense?
Angela [00:05:14] That my mom said to me and I wasn't quite sure what a pecker was, but I figured it out.
Sam [00:05:18] [laughing] Great.
Jenna [00:05:21] Here's my thing, it's math. I can bring it down to math.
Angela [00:05:25] Oh, you like math.
Jenna [00:05:26] Yeah, and you know what, I love this. If you raise it, then you lower it, I think is a great way to think about it. But here's another way to thinking about it, for the most part, women pee sitting down and poo sitting down. Both of the things they're doing on the toilet require the seat to be down.
Angela [00:05:46] Yes.
Jenna [00:05:47] Men, in general, pee standing up and they poo sitting down.
Angela [00:05:52] Some pee sitting down, though.
Jenna [00:05:53] Some do. Fine. Well, that makes my argument even stronger. But what I'm saying is that two of the two things that women do on the toilet are seated, one of the two things... So there's four things happening on a toilet. So three out of the four times someone goes to a toilet, the seat needs to be down.
Angela [00:06:14] So this is math. Curious Sam, Matt, have you guys ever peed sitting down?
Sam [00:06:18] Yeah, absolutely. That's music festivals all the time, at port-a-potties.
Angela [00:06:22] Interesting.
Jenna [00:06:23] Why then? Why is that when you're sitting? I'm usually that's when i'm standing to pee.
Sam [00:06:29] I'm usually rolling on drugs at the point. So I'm usually on mushrooms, or something, where I need to be sitting down, I need my full attention to not be peeing on myself.
Jenna [00:06:39] I see.
Sam [00:06:40] Yes.
Matt [00:06:40] Wow.
Sam [00:06:41] This is in the past.
Jenna [00:06:42] In the past, of course. Got it.
Angela [00:06:45] Now, this is kind of random, but my grandfather, they added on a little side room to their house for a little home office and they put a bathroom in it, and he wanted a urinal. So they had a toilet and they had a urinal and he was so excited about it. And we, as kids, were just fascinated by it. I was like, "What is that thing?" Like, the girls anyway. Then my dad, when my mom and dad built their house out on our farm, my dad was like, "I want a urinal." So there is a urinal in my mom and dad's bathroom, next to the toilet.
Sam [00:07:26] That's incredible.
Jenna [00:07:26] I feel that. That feels like how I needed my bidet. I'm mesmerized by that story and in awe of it, in a positive way.
Sam [00:07:36] I don't want to get us too far off topic, but what kind of bidet do you have? Or what kind is it? Like, an aftermarket one that attaches?
Jenna [00:07:42] Oh no, it's a porcelain bidet that's built into the floor.
Sam [00:07:46] That's the dream. Okay, that's it.
Jenna [00:07:47] It's a full other...
Sam [00:07:48] That's incredible.
Jenna [00:07:49] Thing next to my toilet.
Sam [00:07:50] That's awesome.
Jenna [00:07:51] In hindsight, I could have easily just done the one that attaches to my toilet,
Sam [00:07:55] No, I think if you can afford it, go big time.
Jenna [00:07:55] but this was 15 years ago and I didn't really know about that one.
Matt [00:07:59] Oh, you were an early adapter.
Sam [00:08:01] Yeah, that's a bidet adopter.
Angela [00:08:03] They had them in our house in Indonesia, but it was my Barbie fountain.
Jenna [00:08:08] I rented a home with a bidet and I got so attached to it that when I bought my house I was like, "I need it."
Angela [00:08:16] Well, now they have the fancy toilet where the bidet is part of the toilet.
Jenna [00:08:20] Right.
Angela [00:08:21] The Toto toilet.
Sam [00:08:24] Alright, while we're all here, y'all on squatty-potties, yay, nay?
Jenna [00:08:28] Oh, nay.
Angela [00:08:31] Josh got one and it's a fad. He gets into fads, guys. He's like, "This is how we're supposed to go."
Sam [00:08:38] Yeah, I remember when they were very popular. I didn't notice a difference either.
Angela [00:08:43] We ditched it. It didn't work for me. My legs aren't long enough, it put me in an odd position. We can be done talking about all this now.
Sam [00:08:52] [laughing] Sure, okay.
Angela [00:08:52] Jonathan, thank you so much for writing in. Clearly we all had a lot to say about that. Thanks for sending in your chit chat.
Jenna [00:08:59] Alright, why don't we take a break and then when we come back, we are gonna break down "The Paper,' episode seven titled, "I Love You."
audio cue [00:09:06] [musical sting]
Angela [00:09:08] Well, welcome back to "I Love You," season one, episode seven. It was written by Alex Edelman and directed by Jennifer Salata.
Jenna [00:09:16] I'm gonna give you a summary.
Angela [00:09:17] Okay.
Jenna [00:09:20] Marv is temporarily relocated to the newsroom. You remember Marv. He's, like, the head honcho, the big boss.
Angela [00:09:26] The older gentleman. Yes.
Jenna [00:09:29] So his move down to the newsroom, while his office is being painted or whatever, forces the staff to confront their issue with authority figures and it brings up daddy issues for Ned.
Angela [00:09:39] Boy does it.
Jenna [00:09:41] Meanwhile, Esmeralda and Ken team up to solve a mutual problem. I'll leave it at that.
Angela [00:09:50] Well, we reached out to director Jennifer Salata and she sent us in some great tidbits. We're gonna share them throughout. You guys all know that have been listening, Jen is part of our Office family for many years and it was so great to hear her voice.
Jenna [00:10:02] Yes.
Angela [00:10:02] We're going to start with what I'm calling a fakey conference room meeting. So, Marv and his team, they're there. They're in the big bullpen and they're watching. Ned is in the conference room with his crew and he's like, "Okay, he's watching us. He's watching. Jump up and down, high five, clap. Oh my gosh, point, yes, woohoo." And they're just acting like they're having this really great, awesome, brainstorming meeting for ideas for the paper. And Nicole says, "Why don't we just have a real meeting?" Adam thinks it's the most fun meeting they've ever had.
Jenna [00:10:35] [laughing] Yeah.
Angela [00:10:35] But it worked. Marv is watching them from across the room and goes, "Wow, impressive."
Jenna [00:10:39] You know what this reminded me of?
Angela [00:10:42] What?
Jenna [00:10:42] The scene from "Boys and Girls," when Jan and all the ladies are in the conference room, and Michael literally gathers all the men in the bullpen, and he's like, "Okay, now everybody clap, everybody clap!"
Angela [00:10:53] Yeah, "Laughing, laughing."
Jenna [00:10:54] The difference is that Jan was not buying it at all. Marv was convinced. Jan, not so much.
Angela [00:10:59] Not so much.
Jenna [00:11:00] Well, now Ned is going to leave the conference room, he's going to welcome Marv. He's like, "I didn't even know you were there."
Angela [00:11:05] He kind of sucks up to him, a little bit.
Jenna [00:11:09] He does. And I want to shout out Allan Havey, who plays Marv. He's excellent in this episode. Jen actually sent us in an audio clip about working with him. So I think we should hear it.
Jen Salata [00:11:23] I directed episode 107 of The Paper and I got to work with Allan Havey (who played Marv, who was Ned's boss) and he was brilliant and I loved working with him. I thought that I just recognized him from TV, maybe from "Mad Men" or from movies that he's done. And it wasn't till much later (like, embarrassingly later) that I realized, "Oh my God, I directed him on The Office on the episode called 'Promos.'" Ninth season of The Office. He played Esther's dad, and he was trying to, like, swindle Dwight in some tractor deal. He was also fantastic in that. Two very different roles, but I did not realize that I had worked with him before. He just such a delight in the character of Marv and dealing with Ned and his daddy issues.
Jenna [00:12:10] You know, it's so funny, Angela, the first time I saw him on The Paper, I had forgotten that he played Esther's dad as well. I just remembered him from Mad Men.
Angela [00:12:19] Mm-hmm.
Jenna [00:12:20] But he's so different.
Angela [00:12:22] He's so different, and we both had that moment of, like, "Oh crap, that was... Oh my god!" But you know, in that episode, he has a baseball hat on, he's a little unshaven,
Jenna [00:12:33] Totally different.
Angela [00:12:33] He really transformed. But what a great actor. Listen, we're gonna get to it, about Ned's daddy issues, but there is something about Allan and the way he portrays Marv that I'm like, "It's like my dad, I'd like to spend an afternoon with him."
Jenna [00:12:47] He does, I mean, he's perfect casting. In this scene, Ned is basically just kissing up to Marv.
Angela [00:12:54] Ken is annoyed by it, but then Ken joins in on kissing up to Marv.
Jenna [00:13:00] Yes. Then the next scene, Ned is in his office and he's watching Mare through the blinds. He's given her a card. It's an apology card. It's a photo of a basset hound. The card was originally supposed to say, "Sorry, I missed your birthday," but Ned crosses out some letters and writes some stuff in. So now it says, "Sorry, I misidentified your sexuality," and Mare throws it in the trash.
Angela [00:13:26] Well, Jen had a little story to share about choosing this particular card. Let's listen to it.
Jen Salata [00:13:32] One tiny little behind the scenes moment that I just remembered today was that when Ned gave Mare a card that said, "I'm sorry I misidentified your sexuality," I remember being presented (from our awesome props department) a bunch of Basset Hound cards and Basset hound images to put on the card. And trying to figure out which sad Basset hound looked most like sad Donal or sad Ned. And that was just delightful in one of those, "What are our jobs?" moments. This is amazing.
Angela [00:14:06] "What'd you do today? I had to pick a Basset Hound cards.
Jenna [00:14:09] Such attention to detail.
Angela [00:14:10] I know. Well, now Mare has a talking head. She basically says, "You know what? I don't need to be friends with everyone I work with." Then she kind of goes after the documentary crew. She's like, "Do you guys ever ask questions about journalism?" I guess they don't.
Jenna [00:14:26] Apparently not.
Angela [00:14:27] I do have a wardrobe check for you.
Jenna [00:14:29] What is it?
Angela [00:14:29] I love Mare's sweater so much.
Jenna [00:14:31] I do too!
Angela [00:14:32] Right?
Jenna [00:14:33] Yes.
Angela [00:14:33] Okay, so I went on this website. It's called wornontv.net, W-O-R-N, to see if they might have the details. And they did.
Jenna [00:14:43] What?
Angela [00:14:45] Here you go. It is a cashmere sweater made by Marnie and they're out of the UK. I want you to guess what it retails for.
Jenna [00:14:55] $175.
Angela [00:14:56] $1,569.
Jenna [00:15:00] [gasps in disbelief]
Angela [00:15:00] Mare can't afford that!
Jenna [00:15:01] I know, and that's USA dollars. So I went to the website, because I'm like, "That can't be right." And I selected the US version, you know? And that's how much that sweater costs. The Marnie Color Block Cashmere Jumper.
Jenna [00:15:14] Wow, and we're sure that she's not wearing someone's knockoff version of this cashmere sweater.
Angela [00:15:22] Oh no, no, no.
Jenna [00:15:23] It's for sure the one? It's really beautiful. I noticed it.
Angela [00:15:26] It's beautiful and I will share it in stories cause I have the link to it. It is the sweater.
Jenna [00:15:33] I don't think I could wear a $1,000 cashmere sweater and leave the house. I mean, we all know what I did with my watch that I thought was worth anything.
Angela [00:15:41] You locked it up.
Jenna [00:15:42] Put it in a safe deposit box. If something's too expensive... I don't understand how people spend thousands of dollars on handbags. Like, how do you ever take it anywhere?
Angela [00:15:56] That's how I feel about sunglasses. Like, I am going to drop them, shove them in a purse by accident. Here it is, look. I have a picture of it. The website is called "Farfetch." There it is.
Jenna [00:16:10] That's it?
Angela [00:16:10] That's it.
Jenna [00:16:12] I didn't realize the one sleeve was all burgundy.
Angela [00:16:15] Yeah.
Jenna [00:16:15] Well, yeah, I couldn't wear it. I'd buy the knockoff version. Probably wouldn't fit as well. That's how they get you.
Angela [00:16:23] That's how they get you.
Jenna [00:16:25] So next up, Marv is talking to Adam. Adam says, "Marv, look at this old newspaper article. There's this profile of you as a young businessman." And Marv's like, "Oh my gosh, where'd all my hair go?" And Adam's like "I don't know," like that was a real question.
Angela [00:16:43] And then he says, "Oh, we also have an obituary ready to go for you. So when you die, it's all set." All I could think about is like how they have the Super Bowl winners baseball hats ready.
Jenna [00:16:55] Oh my god, we talk about that all the time!
Angela [00:16:57] Yeah, so they're like ready to go, but you they don't know who's winning, but they all immediately have a baseball hat.
Jenna [00:17:02] It's so wasteful because there's all this merch that then just gets trashed.
Angela [00:17:08] Tossed, yeah.
Jenna [00:17:10] I think about that every time I see them put the hats on within three seconds of winning.
Angela [00:17:14] I know. But anyway, they have his obituary ready to go.
Jenna [00:17:18] I mean, he lets Marv read it and Marv's a little bummed out by it. He's like, "Oh, maybe my life hasn't been as meaningful as I'd hoped, now that I read it in black and white."
Angela [00:17:27] I mean, I think it's, like, two paragraphs. It doesn't seem like they put a lot of effort into it.
Jenna [00:17:32] You know, when I worked at the local television station, in college, we had some pre-edited obituary packages.
Angela [00:17:40] Oh yeah, like, they've got the video montage ready and the whole thing.
Jenna [00:17:44] Especially if someone is maybe sick or if a very famous person is very old, they kind of have it ready to go. I remember thinking, "My gosh, it's just so bleak."
Angela [00:17:54] Yeah.
Jenna [00:17:55] But this led me on a deep dive.
Angela [00:17:58] Of what?
Jenna [00:17:59] Did you know that there is a Wikipedia page that is a list of prematurely least obituaries?
Angela [00:18:08] Of famous people or...?
Jenna [00:18:10] Yeah. I mean, the famous people are on the Wikipedia page. I don't know if it's happened to non-famous people. It probably has. If they, for some reason, had a pre-written obituary. But did you know that Rowan Atkinson has falsely been reported as dead three times? In 2016, 2017, and 2018?
Angela [00:18:30] What the heck?
Jenna [00:18:31] I don't know. He's still alive. Yeah, and he's had to like...
Angela [00:18:35] Say, "Hey everybody. Hey, guess what?"
Jenna [00:18:36] I don't know why that's happening to him. Kirk Douglas had a draft of his obituary leaked on people.com in November of 2014, and it still had the headline, "Do Not Publish." He didn't actually die for another six years. He was 103 when he passed away.
Angela [00:19:00] Crazy.
Jenna [00:19:02] But then this one really got me. P.T. Barnum had a premature obituary published, but it was his request. I guess when he took to his deathbed, he said he would sure love to read what the papers would say about him. So they printed his obituary two weeks before his actual death.
Angela [00:19:24] Oh, he wanted to be, like, basically privy to his own funeral.
Jenna [00:19:29] Well, that's a thing. I mean, people have sometimes said, like, "Why can't I be at my funeral? Like, can I hear all the speeches and how much people loved me? It's kind of a shame that I miss it."
Angela [00:19:39] Yeah.
Jenna [00:19:40] So I guess that was his way of getting that. But Marv was not interested in reading his premature obituary. Bummed him out.
Angela [00:19:48] It really did. Now we have a little runner of people reacting to Marv being in the bullpen, like Detrick freezes around him. Adelola says, "Oh, I don't, like, suck up to people," but then she's super overly chipper and smiley. Then we're gonna have a scene between Esmeralda and Ned. She's got a stack of stories that Marv approved, but Ned's like, "Wait, I had sort of scrapped some of those."
Jenna [00:20:12] I have a question.
Angela [00:20:13] Yeah.
Jenna [00:20:15] Why is Ned killing any stories? Do they have so much content that he can just kill stories? I feel like we're in a "beggars can't be choosers" situation here.
Angela [00:20:23] We 100% are. This whole episode starts with a completely empty dry erase board with the word "story ideas" and nothing under it.
Jenna [00:20:31] I know! I'm like, "How are they putting out a newspaper every day?" I feel like they would be lucky to have a single weekend paper (not a Sunday paper, too thick). A Saturday, once a week paper.
Angela [00:20:42] A Saturday, here's what's happening around town. Well, here is the thing. Ned is going to go approach Marv about it. And Marv is talking to Kimberly. As Ned approaches, he's like, "Hey, buddy, how you doing? You know Kimberly here. She just sold her one millionth roll of Softees."
Jenna [00:21:00] I noticed she was wearing the sweatshirt with the gray sheep that you pointed out.
Angela [00:21:05] The Softees logo. Well, Ned is not impressed that she has sold 1 million rolls. But I was, and it got me going to the internet, lady.
Jenna [00:21:15] What did the internet say? Are you gonna tell me, like, how far one million rolls of toilet paper stretches?
Angela [00:21:21] No, I'm sorry.
Jenna [00:21:22] Is it to the moon?
Angela [00:21:22] No, I'm sorry. I don't know that. But I did Google "real toilet paper salesman," just that.
Jenna [00:21:29] Okay.
Angela [00:21:30] "Real life toilet paper salesman," and it brought me to one of those AMAs, online. I was fascinated by it.
Jenna [00:21:40] What did you learn?
Angela [00:21:41] I mean, so much. But I'm going to read you just a few things. So this fella started off the AMA with this: "I am a toilet paper salesman. I manufacture, sell, and distribute private label, bath tissue, paper towels, napkins, and facial tissue." People peppered him with all kinds of questions. Also, they did a lot of poop bits. This guy had to put up with some poop bits, but here's one for you. One person said, "Do you get a lifetime supply of bath tissue, paper towels, napkins and facial tissues?"
Jenna [00:22:13] Well, I would think so.
Angela [00:22:15] He said, "I actually haven't paid for toilet paper and paper towels in four years. And I live in a house with three other roommates and we go through quite a bit."
Jenna [00:22:23] Wow.
Angela [00:22:24] So there's that. Also, someone said, "What ply do you mostly sell and what is your preferred ply of toilet paper?" He said that they mostly make two ply, he prefers it as well. The one ply is for the people who only use one sheet count as the determining factor during the purchase. One ply is typically a thousand sheet roll and feels like sandpaper. Two ply is absorbent and soft. And frankly, most two ply rolls are made as matches to brand names. For instance, there are rolls that his company makes for the Family Dollar Store that are comparable to Angel Soft, which is the number one seller in the U.S., but theirs cost $2 less. Also, you might be curious as to what sort of target demographics they really reach out to when they're doing their marketing. This fellow said, "We target women, mostly ages 20 to 45." So you and I are out.
Jenna [00:23:23] Oh,
Angela [00:23:23] We're out. "They tend to do the shopping and after 45..." Ready? This is us, Jenna.
Jenna [00:23:28] What?
Angela [00:23:29] "They tend be stuck in their ways. So you're not getting them to buy something new." Anyway, it was very interesting. Then they talked about how two-ply uses a little bit of glue, to make it two-ply and the process and how much money they make and whether something's embossed or have graphics, what graphics they choose and why, it was very interesting.
Jenna [00:23:53] I'm really attached to my toilet paper.
Angela [00:23:55] You're exactly what he said.
Jenna [00:23:57] During the pandemic, when toilet paper wasn't really widely available, they didn't have my toilet paper for months. For months. When I finally got my toilet paper back, I took a photo of myself hugging it.
Angela [00:24:12] You sent it to me.
Jenna [00:24:13] I know.
Angela [00:24:13] It's on my camera roll. Wait, what is your TP of choice?
Jenna [00:24:18] Cottonelle.
Angela [00:24:19] Cottonelle?
Jenna [00:24:20] I don't want Charmin. I don't want Angel Soft. I don't want any of your other toilet paper.
Angela [00:24:24] We clearly aren't sponsored by a TP paper company. What about it?
Jenna [00:24:30] I like the little grooves in it.
Angela [00:24:32] The ridges.
Jenna [00:24:33] Yeah, but I just... It's exactly soft enough. It's exactly right. I really like it. If I go stay at an Airbnb, and sometimes even a hotel in any city, I might (if I'm gonna be there long enough) go buy a four pack of Cottonelle because I don't want any other toilet paper. This guy's never selling me his toilet paper
Angela [00:24:54] He knows that. He's not even going after you.
Jenna [00:24:58] He's not gonna bother. But you know, during the pandemic, Rainn was like, "I've got a lead on toilet paper." Did I ever tell you this?
Angela [00:25:04] No.
Jenna [00:25:05] Oh, my God.
Angela [00:25:05] He texted you?
Jenna [00:25:07] [laughing] He texted me, "If you need it. I've gotta lead on toilet paper." It's just funny to me that I got that from Rainn. He was like, "There's this bamboo toilet paper and you can get a whole box of it right now," and I was like, "You're kidding me?! This is amazing. We're going to get toilet paper," and so I ordered it. I have never hated a toilet paper more. I hated it so much.
Angela [00:25:30] Too grainy?
Jenna [00:25:32] I don't even... I was like, "Who likes this?" I wrote him back, angry. I was, like, "Rainn, you like this? You like this toilet paper? Like, say it to me with a straight face. Like, you're loving this toilet paper." He's like, "I love it. I love how it feels. I have no complaints about it." I'm like, "Well, I don't understand you." Like, it's a big rift in our friendship, this toilet paper. You know what I'm saying?
Angela [00:25:55] Well, he's also a little crunchy.
Jenna [00:25:58] I guess so. Well, anyway, I didn't want to be wasteful, so I did throw it away every once in a while, every once and a while...
Angela [00:26:06] A role makes it in.
Jenna [00:26:06] High up on our shelf, in our laundry room. I don't know how it even gets down. They'll be, and it enrages me. I'm so angry.
Sam [00:26:17] By the way, a million rolls of toilet paper will get you about 8% of the weight of the moon.
Jenna [00:26:21] Thank you, Sam.
Sam [00:26:23] Sure.
Jenna [00:26:23] [laughing] Alright, well, we can move on. I found that fascinating, lady.
Angela [00:26:26] I really did too. I read the whole AMA. Josh just texted me, "We used Cornell toilet paper." Cornell? That can't be right.
Jenna [00:26:33] Cornell?
Angela [00:26:35] Oh, he edited it. Cottonelle.
Jenna [00:26:40] You use Cottonelle!
Angela [00:26:41] Oh yes, I didn't even know.
Jenna [00:26:44] You know what? I can come to your house and go to the bathroom.
Angela [00:26:48] You know what? You've never complained about the toilet paper at my house and now I know why. I didn't even know what we used.
Jenna [00:26:55] Why do I feel like Josh only loves Cottonelle as well? I feel the Cottonelle people are like this.
Angela [00:27:04] Yeah, he's very specific. In fact, I am remembering one time he was out of town and I bought a bunch of toilet paper and he was like, "What? What is this?"
Jenna [00:27:14] He's a Cottonelle person.
Angela [00:27:15] He just sent me a link, he said, "Ange, the Cottonelle Toilet Paper features a unique cleaning ripples texture that removes more with each wipe, leaving you feeling clean and refreshed." It's a popular product.
Jenna [00:27:26] I mean, I knew it!
Angela [00:27:29] Do you feel seen?
Jenna [00:27:29] Yes, I do. I knew it!
Angela [00:27:32] [laughing] Alright. Anyway, Ned is now with Marv and he's saying to him, "You know, having you here is kind of disrupting things." And Marv is like, "I totally understand. I'm sorry if I overstepped. You don't need grandpa giving out sweets, big boss daddy with the fancy tie. I get it." And then he starts to leave his office and he's like, "Be good kiddo. Love you." He just says, love you. He's, like, on his phone he's on his phone and he's kind of distracted..
Jenna [00:27:59] And Ned kind of follows Marv out to the bullpen and he says, "I love you."
Angela [00:28:05] Oh yeah, it washed over him. He needed that sort of affirmation from someone.
Jenna [00:28:12] It's very awkward in the bullpen.
Angela [00:28:13] It's super awkward.
Jenna [00:28:15] And this whole thing, it's very complicated because also we've got Ken and Esmeralda, they're sort of watching all of this happen.
Angela [00:28:25] Judgy watching from a distance.
Jenna [00:28:27] Yes, and so there's a lot happening here. So Jen sent in an audio clip where she talked about planning this very complicated shoot of all these multiple locations. And it has a very surprise ending, I liked it.
Jen Salata [00:28:41] I remember how difficult it was for me to figure out how to block the scene where Ned pulled Marv into the conference room, and then Ken and Esmeralda and Nicole were listening outside, and Adelola and Travis were also listening outside. Trying to figure where to put the cameras, so that they wouldn't see each other, but then also have the camera movement feel real and feel fluid was really challenging. I would go down on set all the time, when the actors were there and also when the actor weren't there, and just try to think of "Do I put the cameras here? When I put the camera's here..." And one time that I was down there, I think the actors must have not been there. So it was kind of dark on the set and I was sprawled out with my diagrams and I ended up seeing this sort of shadowy figure walking down across the set and into Esmeralda's office and then coming out. And I looked up and it was Susie, who's the production designer extraordinaire. And. I was like, "What are you doing here?" She was like, "What am I doing here, what're you doing here?" And she was eating lunch and she went to Esmeralda's office because she knew that Esmeralda had some good Italian olive oil, because Sabrina's Italian and Susie is Italian, and Susie was like, "This is the only good olive oil on this whole lot." So, I don't know if that'll be interesting to listeners, but it just delighted me. A little behind the scenes tidbit of how things are on set.
Angela [00:30:01] I love knowing that.
Jenna [00:30:03] Me too! If we ever get to visit again, I want to go try that olive oil.
Angela [00:30:06] Right?
Jenna [00:30:07] Yeah.
Angela [00:30:08] It does remind me how I always knew that if I wanted a little piece of candy, that Phyllis had candy in her desk drawer on the set of The Office.
Jenna [00:30:15] Exactly.
Angela [00:30:17] Well, why don't we take a break and when we come back, we've got more of this Ned/I love you business, plus a little Around the Town.
audio cue [00:30:24] [musical sting]
Jenna [00:30:27] We are back, and it's time for Office Ladies: Around the Town. Sam?
audio cue [00:30:34] [Around the Town sting plays]
Jenna [00:30:36] There it is.
Angela [00:30:37] I love the fireworks.
Jenna [00:30:38] I do too. Our first bit of news is coming in from Katie G. in Idyllwild, California. Katie says, "I live in a very small town in Southern California called Idyllwild. Our town's mayor is a dog. Yes, I'm serious. He is a golden retriever named Mayor Max and is somewhat of a local celebrity, he even has his own calendar.
Angela [00:31:01] How cute is that?
Jenna [00:31:02] Mayor Max.
Angela [00:31:04] Our next Around the Town comes from Megan W. in West Fargo, North Dakota. Megan says, "My 10 year old son, Bo, earned his first degree black belt in Taekwondo. He worked his way up through the Tiger and Junior programs. The final part of the test is breaking boards. Students have three attempts to break the boards. One with your hand and the other with your foot. He crushed (literally and figuratively) the boards on his first try."
Jenna [00:31:35] Bo, congratulations!
Angela [00:31:35] Yeah!
Jenna [00:31:35] This is fantastic. And finally, Trish M. from Skagway, Arkansas says, "On Friday, January 16th, somebody made a Facebook post complaining that somebody else had bought all the eggs from the grocery store."
Angela [00:31:52] Oh Jenna, this is very topical.
Jenna [00:31:54] Oh my gosh. "It was heavily implied that it was the local cafe, and there was a call to boycott in protest. The owner of the cafe then said that he has his eggs delivered. The whole town was up in arms over the egg lord. So many memes and AI pictures were made." Trish says, "I love living in a small town."
Angela [00:32:22] Trish, the hubbub!
Jenna [00:32:24] Did you ever figure it out? Who bought all the eggs? It wasn't me, Trish. It wasn't me, I promise.
Matt [00:32:30] I was just going to ask, "Jenna, are you sure you're not the egg lord of Skagway, Arkansas?"
Sam [00:32:34] Also, if there was ever a "Mom Detective's" case, this is it.
Jenna [00:32:38] Oh my gosh, we've got to go to Skagway, Arkansas, and solve this case!
Angela [00:32:42] I want someone to design us a tricked out van, like, a mini van. Will you road trip to Arkansas?
Jenna [00:32:49] We're going to figure it out who ate all these eggs.
Angela [00:32:52] Well, you guys, thank you so much for writing in your Around the Towns. We're going to continue sharing these as we break down The Paper. They're just such a bright spot. I really enjoy them.
Jenna [00:33:02] I do, too. Alright, let's keep breaking down this episode of The Paper. Everyone's gonna weigh in on how they feel about Ned telling Marv, "I love you."
Angela [00:33:11] Yeah, they kind of just all tease him. Nicole walks up to Detrick and does a spoof of that famous quote, you know, by Julia Roberts' character? You know the one. I'm just gonna play it, okay?
Jenna [00:33:22] Oh, okay.
Julia Roberts in "Notting Hill" [00:33:24] And don't forget that I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Angela [00:33:34] So Nicole spoofs that and Detrick's like, "You know what, I don't think you should joke about this." And she's like, "Relax, I was just quoting 'Love Actually.'" And now are you ready for reason 110 why I don't think Nicole deserves Detrick?
Jenna [00:33:47] Yes.
Angela [00:33:49] He said, "It's from 'Notting Hill,' but whatever."
Jenna [00:33:53] [laughing] Yeah.
Angela [00:33:54] He knew it was from Notting Hill!
Jenna [00:33:56] Of course, the reason she's "just a girl" is because she's explaining that just because she's a famous actress, she's also just a regular person
Angela [00:34:03] who has feelings
Jenna [00:34:04] and wants to be loved!
Angela [00:34:06] Right.
Jenna [00:34:07] Not Love Actually.
Angela [00:34:08] Not Love Actually, Nicole.
Jenna [00:34:10] So I know in this episode that Ned is saying, "I love you" to this father figure who is his boss. But it just got me curious, in general, about "I love you's." Like, when do people say, "I love you" in a relationship?
Angela [00:34:24] Got it.
Jenna [00:34:25] So what is your guess? How long do you think people typically wait after they've started dating to say it.
Angela [00:34:33] Six months.
Jenna [00:34:34] Okay. Sam? Matt?
Matt [00:34:34] 4 to 5 months.
Angela [00:34:40] Sam, you're with me on six months?
Sam [00:34:41] Yeah, I'm gonna second that.
Jenna [00:34:43] Well, according to research performed by eHarmony, the average amount of time in Australia, (I guess this was an Australian poll) is two months.
Angela [00:34:54] Oh.
Jenna [00:34:55] And one in 10 people say it less than a week into a new romance.
Angela [00:35:00] Well, they should pump the brakes a little bit.
Sam [00:35:02] Yeah, that's love bombing.
Jenna [00:35:03] Okay, according to Psychology Today, there was a study published in 2011 in the "Journal of Sociological Psychology," and they said that the typical amount of time was three to four months. And they broke down who was more likely to say it first, men or women. Can you guys guess?
Angela [00:35:23] Women.
Jenna [00:35:23] Sam?
Sam [00:35:23] Women.
Angela [00:35:23] Matt?
Matt [00:35:31] I'm going to say men, just to spice things up.
Angela [00:35:34] Well, I would only say its women because I feel like women are more at ease expressing their emotions.
Jenna [00:35:44] Well, Matt is correct.
Angela [00:35:45] [in disbelief] Men?
Jenna [00:35:47] On average, men say "I love you" six weeks earlier than women. It took men about three months to say it and for women, it took five.
Angela [00:35:58] Huh.
Jenna [00:35:59] There was also a study conducted across Europe that found that men took, on average, 107 days to say it. Whereas women took 122 days.
Angela [00:36:09] Okay.
Jenna [00:36:11] There you go.
Angela [00:36:12] Well, I found that very interesting.
Jenna [00:36:14] I did too.
Angela [00:36:14] Also, people in Australia, you get to it.
Jenna [00:36:17] People in Australia are ready to love you right away.
Angela [00:36:22] Yeah. That seems nice.
Jenna [00:36:23] Go Australia!
Angela [00:36:24] I know. Well, the ribbing continues. Barry makes fun of Ned. Adelola asks him if his dad and Marv belong to the same yacht club. I just want to note for anyone working on The Paper, I feel like Ned's show Bible would have a big entry with this episode.
Jenna [00:36:39] Okay.
Angela [00:36:40] Ned says, "Okay, my dad doesn't have a yacht. He's a pilot. He owns a Piper Cub twin engine. He once had a crash land in a field like Harrison Ford."
Jenna [00:36:49] That's definitely show Bible material.
Angela [00:36:52] "Father flies planes and doesn't say 'I love you.'"
Jenna [00:36:56] Yeah.
Angela [00:36:56] There you go. Continuing with Ned's show Bible, Mare is gonna say, "Look, it's not my job to talk about Ned or the fact that his dad cheated on his mom and forgot his birthday two weeks ago and recently started blood thinners." How does Mare know all of this? I mean, how much are her and Ned talking about real personal stuff?
Jenna [00:37:14] I guess a lot.
Angela [00:37:15] A lot. Ned is going to address the bullpen and basically be like, "Stop making fun of me." Then he kind of pokes fun at Barry in an awkward way, he's just getting things way more cringy. Oscar has a talking head, and I loved it. We haven't heard a ton of Oscar talking heads yet in the series, so I want to play it.
clip from The Paper - Oscar [00:37:36] Ned seems to be working through something today, which he definitely should be doing, but maybe not at work.
Angela [00:37:49] He's kind of having this emotional spiral.
Jenna [00:37:53] Well now, we're gonna cut down to, is this their sort of version of a warehouse, I guess? Ken and Esmerelda have sneaked off to talk.
Angela [00:38:04] I loved this scene and I pulled a clip of it.
Jenna [00:38:08] I love it so much. I'm so glad you did. It's not my chef's kiss of the week. I've decided to start a new bit, lady, called "Chef's Kiss of the Week," where I highlight my absolute favorite moment from the episode, but this is my chef kiss number two.
Angela [00:38:23] Okay, well I titled it "Plotty McPlotters."
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:38:29] Well, I knew Ned was ambitious, but "I love you?" My god.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:38:34] How will I get him fired now that he seduced the old man?
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:38:37] Well, there's no way of squeezing between Ned's lips and Marv's arse, is there? We need to get rid of one.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:38:41] The lips?
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:38:42] No. The arse protects the lips. We need to remove the arse. We need to get rid Marv.
Angela [00:38:48] "The ass protects the lips."
Jenna [00:38:52] [sighs] I love them together.
Angela [00:38:52] So they're going to come up with a plan. They're going take Marv out. They see their opportunity to replace him. Well, they think they're making all these plotting and schemes in private, but then the camera pulls back and we reveal the janitor is napping and has heard the whole thing. It's Nate, the building's janitor. He just chimes in and goes, "This sounds risky to me."
Jenna [00:39:18] Now we're gonna cut to the little lunchroom. We've seen them eating here before. This is where they get their salads. There's obviously a little place where you can get sandwiches and salads in the building. Marv is having lunch with his secretary, Anne.
Angela [00:39:30] Love her.
Jenna [00:39:32] Ned is gonna enter and he's gonna kneel down at their table, get real low. And he's going to say, "Hey, Marv, I'm going to be leading a story meeting pretty soon. Do you want to come watch me?"
Angela [00:39:49] Yeah. Then he dabs his food and says, "Too much grease. We need you healthy."
Jenna [00:39:57] Lady, this episode... Like, it had been a little hard for me, but when I got to this point, I was like, "Oh my God, this is cringier to me than Scott's Tots." When he says, "Do you want to come watch me?" I started turning in on myself. And then from this point forward, it just became almost unbearable for me. To me, this was truly Scott's Totts level cringe.
Angela [00:40:24] There's someone who agrees with you, lady, about the cringe factor matching Scott's Tots. It's Elizabeth M. from West Lafayette, Indiana. Elizabeth says, "I loved watching The Paper, but this episode was so hard for me. This felt like a worse Scott's Tot's because Domhnall Gleason plays this poor man desperate for attention and approval SO well. I was wondering if you know how he prepared to play this episode so earnestly. With a lesser actor, this whole episode could come off gimmicky and insincere. But Gleason really makes you believe everything his character does.
Jenna [00:40:59] I think that's why it's so hard to watch, is because he's so believable.
Angela [00:41:05] He's so earnest.
Jenna [00:41:05] Yes, he's playing it so incredibly real, that it just... Ew.
Angela [00:41:13] And also, I think he's playing it so honest. I need someone to pull him aside and be like, "Hey, I'm just checking in on you."
Jenna [00:41:21] Well, that would be Mare, if they weren't on the outs.
Angela [00:41:24] If they weren't fighting.
Jenna [00:41:24] That's the thing. He would not have gotten this far if Mare was engaged with him. Well, next up, Esmeralda and Ken have pulled Nate aside. They're like, "Did you overhear us?" He's like, "Yes." They're like, "Did you hear the whole plan?" He's like, "I did."
Angela [00:41:43] And now they've got to win him over.
Jenna [00:41:45] Yes.
Angela [00:41:46] They need him on their side and not sharing this with anyone else.
Jenna [00:41:54] So they're like, "What if we give you like a great new job?"
Angela [00:41:57] Mm-hmm.
Jenna [00:41:58] "And all you have to do is never tell anyone what you heard." They're like, "We could make you the head of marketing." [giggling] I love this part where he says, "You know what? Gosh, I just want to make sure I could do a good job at this new job. I want that but, like, will I be good at it?" They're like, "You'll be great." So sweet. Nate is played by comedian Nate Jackson, and he's really good in this.
Angela [00:42:25] He's super funny in it. Well now we're in this conference room meeting, when Ned is pitching story ideas and he pitches one about the toll roads and no one likes it. It doesn't sound interesting. Then Marv is gonna pipe up and he pitches the idea of Jeep Week. Jeep, like the car, right?
Jenna [00:42:44] Yeah.
Angela [00:42:45] Everyone is really enthusiastic and Ned's like, "No, no, no... But the tollroads..." And everyone's like, "We want Jeep Week" and then there's this back and forth. Ultimately, Marv is gonna excuse himself and Ned is furious with his team. He's like, "You made me look stupid in front of the boss," because he's a little kid.
Jenna [00:43:04] Exactly. Well, next up, we're going to have a Nate talking head. He is so excited about his new job as head of marketing. He's explaining some of the research he's already done. He really feels like Enervate is not taking advantage of their social media. Ken and Esmeralda are coming down the hallway and they see Nate talking to the camera crew and they quickly run up and they're like, "Oh, what are you talking to the cameraman now?" And Nate's like. "Yeah, but it's fine. I mean, the camera crew, they already know about your evil plan. They asked me about it."
Angela [00:43:36] So now Esmeralda and Ken spiral and they do this ridiculous joint talking head where they say, "You know what? We were just practicing a play, because we're writing a play. We were practicing a possible scenario for one of the characters." They are backpedaling.
Jenna [00:43:53] This is my Chef's Kiss moment of the episode.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:43:58] We are practicing a play.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:44:00] Well, we're writing a play, is the truth. We are writing a play together. Our first.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:44:04] Our first.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:44:05] And we were just, hello, we're just trying to work out what one of the characters would do in a certain scenario.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:44:11] Yes, in a certain scenario, these characters would take over. Which is a very common plot in so many plays.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:44:18] Well, a mutiny, basically. I mean, it's been done to death. So why not, you know, do that again?
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:44:23] Why not? But not. But not, we could do anything else. We could do a movie about a musical about a movie, about a musical about mutiny. Right?
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:44:32] What it was, was... It was a loyalty test.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:44:36] Yes.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:44:36] We were testing Nate's loyalty
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:44:38] It was a loyalty test. Because janitors, more than anyone, they have to be loyal.
clip from The Paper - Ken [00:44:45] Gotta be loyal.
clip from The Paper - Esmeralda [00:44:46] Because of the stuff they find in the trash, or in the toilets.
Jenna [00:44:50] I just thought it was amazing.
Angela [00:44:53] It just kept expanding and expanding, their crazy silliness to cover up this moment.
Jenna [00:44:59] And none of it seemed like lines, like, none of seemed like dialog. It really seemed like two people in a furious backpedal.
Angela [00:45:06] Mm-hmm. I love this pairing.
Jenna [00:45:10] Same.
Angela [00:45:10] I could watch way more Ken and Esmeralda up to hijinks.
Jenna [00:45:14] I have to imagine they absolutely love getting to do scenes together.
Angela [00:45:19] They have such great chemistry. Well, this next scene is the one I titled "Cringe Much?" Ned writes the Jeep story. He walks up to Marv and hands it to him and he goes, "Here it is, but I hated it." Marv is like, "Well, then fine, just scrap it. You're the editor." So then Nate dramatically crumples it up and tries to throw it towards the trash, and he misses. Then Marv grabs another piece of paper and crumples it up and says, "Here, try it again." And then, it's so weird, Ned's like, "I don't like you. You're mean. I don't love you." It's so awkward.
Jenna [00:46:02] Lady, just hearing you describe it is making me uncomfortable. This was the scene that I was like, "I don't even know."
Angela [00:46:09] Yeah, and then Marv just apologizes and leaves, and I'm like, "Ned would be fired, right?"
Jenna [00:46:16] Here's what this episode did for me. It really took me on this ride because I was on one of my favorite comedy rides ever, with Esmeralda and Ken. Then I was brought into this just cringe city, with Ned and this Jeep and this Marv and the throwing of the trash. But then right after that, they put me back on the comedy ride with Marv's secretary, Anne, storming in and shaming Ned.
Angela [00:46:44] It was so great. She was like, "Make it right, Ned." She's like, "Go up to Marv and make this right." And she said also that his obituary didn't do him justice.
Jenna [00:46:56] Oscar is going to come in and be a bit of a voice of reason, and he's going to tell Ned, "I agree with Anne. You need to fix things." But then, lady, Ned thinks that the way they're going to fix thing is by writing a better obituary.
Angela [00:47:12] Yeah, and then all I could think of is he gets the whole team in on it. They group write this obituary and I'm like, "You know what? I'm staring at an empty whiteboard." There's no stories going in this paper.
Jenna [00:47:24] This is my point! This is my point, how do they do it? A daily paper with multiple articles?
Angela [00:47:31] This one was going to be real thin. Well, while all of that's going on, Ken and Esmeralda are Operation Cover Our Tracks. So they're going to meet with Marv, and they're gonna tell him that Nate the janitor is taking drugs, the hard stuff that makes him invent crazy stories of conspiracy. And you see this news wash over Marv and how saddened he is by it and concerned. I just was reminded, just in this moment, of what a fantastic actor Allan Havey is. He's so good.
Jenna [00:48:06] He's so good. And Marv is gonna go up to Nate.
Angela [00:48:11] Yeah, we see this scene in the distance where it looks like they're knelt in prayer. Nate kind of looks up and winks at them, and then they start to sing. It's kind of an amazing moment. And Jen has a little behind the scenes for you about it. Let's hear it.
Jen Salata [00:48:27] One moment that was improvised, I'm not sure exactly by who, but there was an improvised moment between Marv and Nate when they were praying. Nate started singing "Swing Low, sweet Chariot." I don't know if that was his idea or if it was Allan's idea, but I'm pretty sure it came from one of the two of them in that moment. They both started singing the song and it was just so brilliant. So that was one of my favorite improvised moments in that episode.
Angela [00:48:57] I mean, that's so great.
Jenna [00:48:59] Wow.
Angela [00:49:00] Nate sings with this rich voice, and then Marv just instantly comes right in. Amazing.
Jenna [00:49:08] You know what, I'm wondering though.
Angela [00:49:10] What?
Jenna [00:49:11] I mean, so that was improvised, which means they used it and then they had to pay for it.
Angela [00:49:15] So that means they had to get the song rights, yeah.
Jenna [00:49:17] Exactly.
Angela [00:49:18] Well, now I think the final nail in the cringe coffin is Ned is going to present Marv with the obituary, and he begins to read it. Marv just stops him, and he's like, "Hey, you know, whatever this is, we don't need to talk about it. We don't you to do this, OK? I'm not going to shut the paper down because of this personal issue that you're having. I'm not your dad."
Jenna [00:49:43] Yeah, he's like, "The only reason I would shut this paper down is if it stopped making money."
Angela [00:49:49] And he said, "You know what, I just found out that this really sweet man is battling a drug addiction. I'm going to put my energy there." And Ned's like, "OK." He leaves the obituary with him. I do want to point out, at 20 minutes and 3 seconds, a Pepsi can on Marv's desk.
Jenna [00:50:06] Really?
Angela [00:50:06] Oh, presented. Like, "Pepsi can."
Jenna [00:50:10] Do you think that was left behind?
Angela [00:50:12] No, I think it's product placement.
Jenna [00:50:14] You think it is on purpose?
Angela [00:50:15] Yes. Come on, it's so blatantly in the shot.
Jenna [00:50:20] Yeah, but wow.
Angela [00:50:21] Oh yeah. I mean, maybe that's how they paid for Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
Jenna [00:50:28] Maybe it is. They're like, "Someone get me a Pepsi." Well, Marv is going to have this talking head that is, oh, it's so good. He says, "Listen, true love isn't something you just say. It's based on a long time together. Kids don't understand that. You don't have to say it to people that you actually love." And then Anne knocks on the window behind him and says like, "Don't forget to take those vitamin D pills." Marv turns back to camera and he kind of smiles, and he's like, "42 years. Couldn't do it without her, my brother's wife." We got a fan letter from Colette F. in Reno, Nevada, who said, "I cannot wait to hear you ladies talk about season one, episode seven of The Paper, I Love You, particularly the end with Anne and Marv. They are clearly in love with each other, right? And she's married to his brother. I just love their relationship because you can see clearly how much they care for each other. It's sweet and seems to not cross the line." Oh, Colette, I agree.
Angela [00:51:37] I do, too. I mean, they eat lunch together every day. They spend all day together. It doesn't cross the line, but you do wonder. I mean we learned in this episode that Marv has no children. Has he never been married? Has he held a candle for this woman, all these years, and didn't ever want to break his brother's heart and is just content to work side by side with her?
Jenna [00:52:03] That is so old fashioned romantic. That's, like, out of one of your movies that you like.
Angela [00:52:08] "The Age of Innocence." I love that book. Just to be able to admire her every day is enough.
Jenna [00:52:15] Just from afar.
Angela [00:52:17] Mm-hmm. Well, it's now after hours. The documentary crew is still there. Nate is vacuuming the floor. Everyone else is left. The camera zooms in on the computer screen and we see these text messages popping up between Ned and Mare.
Jenna [00:52:33] Mm-hmm.
Angela [00:52:35] I guess she's turned in a story. He thanks her. Then she says, basically, "For what it's worth, he said, 'love you' first."
Jenna [00:52:45] And then Ned is like, "Right?!"
Angela [00:52:46] Yes, he feels seen. And then they go back and forth. He's, like, "Well, thanks for not piling on." And she's, "Oh, I've been saving them up." And then, she just does a series of texts kind of making fun of him for having this dad issue with Marv. And that's how it ends.
Jenna [00:53:02] Maybe she's forgiving him.
Angela [00:53:07] Yes, and I guess Ned and Marv are gonna be okay.
Jenna [00:53:09] It seems like it.
Angela [00:53:10] Yeah.
Jenna [00:53:11] Well, there you have it, everybody. That was episode seven of The Paper. We've only got three more of these left.
Angela [00:53:17] Yeah, big big thank you to Jen Salata for answering our questions. She's always just the absolute best and I loved hearing her voice.
Jenna [00:53:25] Guess what I found.
Angela [00:53:25] What?
Jenna [00:53:27] I just looked through my photos and I found that picture of me that I sent you, next to the Cottonelle. It's from September 23rd, 2020. That's how long it took me to find my favorite toilet paper. Months! Look, there it is.
Angela [00:53:43] Yeah, you're very happy. You're so happy there.
Jenna [00:53:46] I know.
Angela [00:53:47] You and Josh and your Cottenelle.
Jenna [00:53:50] [voice breaking a little] I love it so much.
Angela [00:53:51] We're not even sponsored by them, you guys.
Jenna [00:53:53] Maybe we should be!
Angela [00:53:55] Alright, well, we'll see you next week. Thanks again to Jen and we hope you have a good one.
Jenna [00:54:00] See you next week.
audio cue [00:54:00] [outro music plays]
Jenna [00:54:18] Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.
Angela [00:54:20] Office Ladies is a presentation of Audacy and is produced by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:54:26] Our senior producer is Matt Beagle. Our audio engineer is Sam Kieffer, and our associate producer is Aynsley Bubbico.
Angela [00:54:33] Audacy's executive producer is Leah Reis-Dennis.
Jenna [00:54:36] Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.
Angela [00:54:39] Our theme song is "Rubber Tree" by Creed Bratton.