TRANSCRIPT
Office Ladies | Episode 281.3 - Friday Chit Chat with Rainn Wilson
Jenna [00:00:00] Hi!
Angela [00:00:01] Hi Rainn Wilson!
Rainn [00:00:03] Hi Angela, hi Jenna. Hi Office Ladies.
Jenna [00:00:05] Thanks for joining us.
Angela [00:00:07] Yeah, and you're proudly wearing your Seattle Seahawks hat.
Rainn [00:00:10] I'm representing. Also, I haven't taken a shower yet, so my hair is matted. I wasn't sure if we were recording video, like, for social media purposes or whatever, so.
Jenna [00:00:22] We're not.
Angela [00:00:23] No worries. Your bedhead is safe with us.
Rainn [00:00:26] Excellent. It's good to see you guys, remotely. You look great.
Jenna [00:00:30] Do you have a "Michael Scarn: Threat Level Midnight" poster over your shoulder?
Rainn [00:00:36] I do, yes. It's one of my few pieces of Office memorabilias. I've just got a Michael Scarn poster. I proudly hang it.
Jenna [00:00:45] It looks signed!
Rainn [00:00:47] No, it's not signed. I suppose I could get it signed. I know the guy, Steve Carell, who played Michael Scarn. So I suppose I could get it signed.
Jenna [00:00:54] It's very cool.
Rainn [00:00:55] Even that Krasinski fellow, although he's kind of busy in New York.
Jenna [00:00:59] Yeah. Gold Face?
Angela [00:01:00] He's not signing it.
Jenna [00:01:01] Golden Face? Is that his name?
Rainn [00:01:04] Golden face. Yeah.
Jenna [00:01:06] Aw.
Rainn [00:01:07] I think I could probably talk to his publicist's manager and see about getting a signature.
Angela [00:01:13] Good luck with that.
Rainn [00:01:13] What's going on? What are we talking about? What's happening? What's happening with Office Ladies? It's been a long time since I've been on the show. You guys, congratulations on the success and everything you're doing and your media empire. It's beautiful.
Jenna [00:01:27] Thank you, Rainn. Last time you were on Office Ladies, it was because I recorded you from the back of my car after we had lunch. So thank you for that.
Rainn [00:01:35] Oh my gosh. It was about food, wasn't it?
Angela [00:01:38] Yes.
Jenna [00:01:39] Now we're doing something special on Fridays. We do it once a month. It's called Friday Chit Chat.
Rainn [00:01:43] I'm so happy to be here. Although you do kind of need a theme song for Friday Chit Chat. [singing] Friday Chit Chat. I feel like Ed Helms could write a really good Friday Chit Chat theme song.
Angela [00:01:54] [making banjo noises]
Jenna [00:01:56] You are not wrong. That would be amazing, we should reach out to Ed! Thank you.
Rainn [00:01:59] Let's get him on that.
Jenna [00:02:01] Well, here's how it works. We put out a call to action to our fans out there who love Office Ladies. And we just said, "What do you want us to chit chat about?" And they send in suggestions and we've got a great one this week.
Rainn [00:02:13] Jenna.
Jenna [00:02:15] Yes?
Rainn [00:02:15] Jenna, I hate to break it to you, no one listens to this show.
Jenna [00:02:18] [laughing] Oh no, they don't?
Rainn [00:02:20] You don't have fans. That's AI bots or something.
Angela [00:02:24] Rainn, don't tell the advertisers.
Rainn [00:02:24] No one listens to Office Ladies.
Angela [00:02:26] [shushing Rainn]
Jenna [00:02:26] Well this suggestion is coming from Jenna F. and Angela K. from Los Angeles.
Rainn [00:02:34] Wow, Jenna, I'd love to hear from Jenna F. and Angela K. Yeah, what do they have to say?
Angela [00:02:39] They write in a lot, they're big fans. Okay, here is our chit chat suggestion of the week. It comes from Audrey W. Audrey says, "I've seen posts about which Office character would you rather be stuck camping with? So I was wondering who would you like to be stuck camping with for three days and why?"
Rainn [00:03:01] That's a great question. I mean, there's so many different ways you could go.
Angela [00:03:04] I have a request. I would like us to say which Office character we wanna be stuck camping with and then which of us in real life we would want to be stuck camping with.
Jenna [00:03:13] I like that.
Rainn [00:03:15] I like where you're going with this. I definitely know which office character would be the most fun. I'm a little bit biased because immediately as you read the question, I was like, "Oh, there's an episode here." And that would be Dwight and Andy camping together, or being forced to camp together. Just total opposites on the campground. I don't know if that's what the question was. I just kind of put myself in Dwight's shoes. But I think it would be so much fun because Andy would have the perfect tent from L.L. Bean, and his stove and solar panel and a drone that can bring in food. He'd have freeze-dried ramen and pot stickers and gourmet food, and then Dwight would just have a loincloth and a knife and a tent made out of a buffalo hide or something like that. That would be such a good episode, don't you think?
Angela [00:04:15] It would and I feel like Andy would make up a campfire song and the whole thing.
Rainn [00:04:20] He'd have brought a travel banjo.
Angela [00:04:22] Yeah.
Rainn [00:04:23] And he would have a s'mores kit that was a really high end REI s'mores kit.
Angela [00:04:31] Tons of sunscreen. He'd have tons of sunscreen that's harmful to the environment.
Rainn [00:04:37] Big spray.
Angela [00:04:37] Just like spraying it all over.
Jenna [00:04:39] For three days, these guys.
Rainn [00:04:40] And he'd have an elevated tent where the bottom inflated and brought him off the ground. But I think that an episode with Dwight and Andy camping would be... We kind of had that with "Survivorman" with Dwight and Michael. I think that would be really fun, to watch the opposites. Then Dwight goes and kills a fawn with a hunting knife.
Angela [00:05:03] And like, Andy's puking. I would watch that episode.
Jenna [00:05:09] Would you, as Rainn Wilson, want to go camping with Dwight or Andy?
Rainn [00:05:14] Well, Dwight would definitely be more of an adventure, but since I'm a little bit more of the indoor type... I like some camping sometimes, but I think that Andy would be great. It's just entertainment, technology, comfort. I'm gonna go straight up with Andy. Final answer. Andy Bernard, final answer.
Angela [00:05:35] Andy on both Dwight and Rain. What about you, Miss Fischer?
Jenna [00:05:41] What about me? I thought about this. I really did. I thought about who I don't want to go camping with. I don t want to camping with Dwight, just too intense. I also think I would not want to going camping with Jim. Doesn't he seem like not a great camper? You know who I think I would want to be camping with? Is maybe... Hear me out, Roy. Doesn't Roy seem like he's gonna carry a lot of heavy s**t and he's going to put up the tent? Doesn't he say maybe he's a good outdoorsman? I think if a bear came along, he's definitely getting in the middle of me and a bear. Like, I trust that.
Angela [00:06:22] Yeah, I feel like Roy has gone hunting with his cousins and stuff, like, he has a deer stand somewhere.
Jenna [00:06:28] The downside is he's probably drinking late into the night, but the other person I was gonna say that I would go camping with is Karen. I think Karen would be super fun to camp with.
Rainn [00:06:42] Oh, interesting. Out of the box.
Jenna [00:06:44] She's smart, she's funny. We would have similar interests. We'd go hiking, but then we would have a little rosé by the fire in the evening. I just feel like that would be like a really good vibe. And finally, my last group of people I would want to go camping with -
Angela [00:07:03] In real life?
Jenna [00:07:03] In real life. Like, Jenna has now gone camping with Roy and Karen. I would also go camping, me and Lee, with Michael and Holly. I'd go couples camping with Michael.
Angela [00:07:16] Oh really?
Jenna [00:07:16] I would. I think they'd be fun. I mean Michael and childlike wonder of the world I think could be fun to camp with. And entertaining. I mean, three days is a long time.
Angela [00:07:29] I think they would do a lot of voices. Yeah, I think on like day two, when they're going like, [in a silly voice] "I'd like a piece of pecan pie." And they're like doing all their voices.
Jenna [00:07:38] You're right. Maybe it's too much.
Rainn [00:07:39] Yeah, three days is a bit much, but I got to jump in here, Jenna. I'm so sorry.
Jenna [00:07:43] What is it?
Rainn [00:07:44] But first of all, Roy? Like, first of it, you'd have to hang out with Roy for three days. I mean, what are you gonna talk about with Roy? And number two, you just talked about how Roy would defend you from a bear. You have Rainn Wilson on your show, and you're talking about how Roy would be the best one to defend you from a bear? Are you kidding me?
Jenna [00:08:05] OK, here's the thing.
Rainn [00:08:06] Come on. I'm offended. I'm deeply offended.
Jenna [00:08:08] I need someone who will defend me from a bear, but also be pleasant to camp with. So I feel like, yes, Dwight will protect me. But am I going to enjoy the rest of the three days? No, he's going to have me up at, like, 4:45 a.m. on some expedition, some quest. Like, no. Roy is sleeping in. Also, if Roy doesn't talk to me, who cares? I'll read a book. You know what I mean?
Rainn [00:08:34] I think Karen's a good way to go, because interesting conversationalist, pretty chill, but capable at the same time.
Jenna [00:08:40] Exactly. She'll help carry stuff from the car.
Angela [00:08:44] Smart. Alright, well I'm gonna throw something at you guys.
Rainn [00:08:46] Okay.
Angela [00:08:47] I would go camping with Joe Bennett.
Jenna [00:08:49] Really?
Angela [00:08:50] Because I think she goes full glamping. I don't want to poop in the woods, okay? I want some type of fashion toilet situation. Dwight is a survivalist, no doubt about it. He can build structure, he can do the things. I don't want to wipe with a leaf, you know? I don't want any of that. But I feel like Joe Bennett, she would have a staff that would go ahead of us and set up the tent. We'd probably have these really nice chairs by the fire. I wanna glamp with Joe Bennett. That's what I wanna do.
Jenna [00:09:23] For three days.
Rainn [00:09:24] She'd probably use her dogs as pack animals.
Angela [00:09:27] Yes, or we would ride her dogs. We're not very tall, the two of us.
Rainn [00:09:31] Yeah, you're small enough. You'd be on one dog, the other dog would be carrying your toilet and your toilet paper.
Angela [00:09:36] Yeah, please.
Rainn [00:09:37] So you don't have to use a leaf and a log.
Angela [00:09:38] I don't want to use a leaf and a log. That sounds horrible. In real life, I think Creed Bratton would be a blast to go camping with. You guys, he goes fishing with his son. Also, he's obsessed with the TV show "Alone." He turned me and Josh onto it. We've gone over and watched it with him. So I know that Creed knows how to (probably by this point) trap a rabbit.
Jenna [00:10:04] Hook a fish.
Angela [00:10:05] Build a shelter. He can definitely fish. He's very good at fishing. And you know, he would have campfire songs and crazy ass stories, that you wouldn't know if they're true or not. You know, he can spin a yarn.
Rainn [00:10:17] I think that's a great answer. Creed is always the best answer. Whenever I go to fan events or something and someone's like, "Who would you rather blah, blah, blah with?" I just throw Creed in there because I give Creed some love and he's so fascinating. But you're right. You would have three hours guaranteed entertainment, every night at the campfire, with Creed, no doubt. Songs, stories, monologs, dances.
Angela [00:10:40] Dances. He also does yoga every day. So he would probably bust out some yoga that we would all do in the morning. And he takes naps. I'm all for a nap. He goes to bed early. I think this is a really good camping partner.
Jenna [00:10:54] Wow. I don't think there's a better answer than Creed, in real life.
Angela [00:10:57] Yeah. He'd be so tickled, too.
Rainn [00:10:58] So is there a prize for this? Does she win?
Angela [00:11:01] I won! Wait, do I win a Threat Level Midnight poster signed by John Krasinski?
Jenna [00:11:07] You do. I want to throw something out there. I want go away from the cast for camping, because you've convinced me on Creed. But otherwise, I don't really want to go camping with any actor, because I just... I'm sorry.
Angela [00:11:23] Jenna, how dare you? We would have so much fun.
Jenna [00:11:25] We might, we might, but we're all getting eaten by the bears.
Angela [00:11:29] Rainn, I've always said that Jenna and I should do an "Amazing Race." We'd be horrible.
Rainn [00:11:34] I would love to see you guys on Amazing Race. That's a great idea, for real. You'd be so good.
Jenna [00:11:40] Who is doing the physical challenges? Who's zip lining down the side of the mountain, between me and Angela?
Angela [00:11:48] And I don't like to eat weird things, Rainn, if they say that one of us has to eat an ostrich egg to win, that's not happening. I can't.
Rainn [00:11:57] Does that happened on Amazing Race?
Angela [00:11:59] Sometimes.
Jenna [00:11:59] Every once in a while, you have to eat a scorpion or something.
Angela [00:12:04] Are you eating a scorpion, Rainn?
Rainn [00:12:06] Yeah, I'd eat a scorpion. I went on Bear Grylls.
Jenna [00:12:09] That's right!
Rainn [00:12:10] Wilderness...
Jenna [00:12:11] What's Bear Grylls Wilderness?
Angela [00:12:14] Are you kidding? It's so good. He's a crazy, amazing, survival guy and Rainn went on it. And so did Ed. Oh, you have to watch it. Rainn. Did you like it? What was that experience like?
Rainn [00:12:25] I had a blast. But yeah, Bear Grylls is this survivalist, former UK Marine guy, and he's a great TV host. And it's called "Running Wild," I think, is the show. We went out into the Utah wilderness, but the scariest thing about doing it was when he strapped me to a helicopter. So when I got picked up by the helicopter, I had to ride on the skids, on the outside of the helicopter, and I was chained.
Angela [00:12:54] No.
Rainn [00:12:54] And we were zooming 100/200 feet over the trees at, like, 50 miles an hour. I have a fear of heights and it was brutal. But worse than that, when I got picked up at the end of it, they lowered a winch with a cable and then they dragged me up into the air. So I was dangling by a hundred feet, under a helicopter, and then it took off over the mountains.
Angela [00:13:17] That was nuts. That was absolutely nuts. I think I might've had a bowel movement of some kind because that's just... What is going through your mind right then?
Jenna [00:13:27] Yeah. How do you get through that?
Rainn [00:13:29] It goes beyond terror, where you're just like, "Okay, I guess I'm gonna die and there's not really anything I can do."
Angela [00:13:37] "This is how I go out, I guess this is it."
Rainn [00:13:40] This is it, and you're just flying around. You're just going one breath at a time, and it was absolutely brutal. It was brutal. But that made the cliff climbing, and when I ate rot grubs, and did a cold plunge in an alpine lake at dawn, and a zip line. That was all a cake walk, compared to being strapped to a helicopter.
Angela [00:14:04] The grubs thing was so gross. I mean, it's so gross to me. Like, I would have puked.
Rainn [00:14:10] They taste like peanut butter.
Jenna [00:14:11] Really?
Rainn [00:14:12] Yeah, the grubs, little grubs taste like peanut butter.
Jenna [00:14:14] That's so nice.
Angela [00:14:15] All grubs taste like peanut butter? You've had more than one type of grub?
Rainn [00:14:16] Yeah.
Jenna [00:14:18] Protein forward? Because I'm really looking to up my protein.
Angela [00:14:22] You are not eating grubs, Jenna.
Rainn [00:14:23] I think it's the future. You could have a grub farm. Talk to Creed. I think he grows his own rot grubs.
Jenna [00:14:34] I want to pitch something. Maybe the two of you should go on Amazing Race. Rainn and Angela.
Angela [00:14:45] What? No.
Jenna [00:14:45] Angela, why are me and you going on Amazing Race together when you partner with Rainn and he'll eat all the grubs and he will do all the stunts?
Angela [00:14:54] What am I bringing?
Jenna [00:14:55] You're reading the map and you're keeping things positive.
Rainn [00:14:59] You're just there to look good, babe.
Angela [00:15:00] Oh, thanks, baby.
Rainn [00:15:03] Yeah. Let's do it, Angela.
Jenna [00:15:05] You guys would be a good team. You would. It would be very entertaining.
Angela [00:15:09] It'd be such a hot mess. Rainn would call me a cousin fucker. We'd run out of diet coke.
Rainn [00:15:16] What if the accountants went on the Amazing Race?
Jenna [00:15:18] What if we all teamed up with our love interests and we competed against each other? So you've got Steve and Amy, the two of you, me and John team up. Who else have we got? Mindy and BJ!
Rainn [00:15:30] We've got Oscar and the Senator.
Angela [00:15:32] Oscar and the senator. Yes.
Jenna [00:15:36] Maybe Craig and David Denman could be a team.
Angela [00:15:38] Oh wait. What about Hunter and Jan?
Jenna [00:15:42] Yes! Hunter and Melora. There we go. You guys, that would kill. Somebody call CBS.
Angela [00:15:49] Phyllis and Bob Vance.
Jenna [00:15:50] Yeah! There you go.
Rainn [00:15:52] Oh my gosh. That's so good.
Jenna [00:15:53] It would be amazing.
Angela [00:15:54] That would get really good ratings, at least for the first one.
Jenna [00:15:58] You guys, I never got a chance to say who I would go camping with in real life, who isn't a cast member. I want to say, and I think you're gonna agree with me, that it's Randall Einhorn, our DP and beloved director.
Rainn [00:16:12] Oh, yeah. Our DP and frequent director, who was a white water rafting enthusiast and has traveled the world and hiked the outback, and he started on "Survivor." In fact, our camera crew... Frequent Office Ladies listeners are gonna know this, but Matt and Randall, our frequent directors and DPs, started on Survivor. Because Greg wanted that immediacy of the cameras capturing the reality of the workers and wanted that look and feel. They ended up being just so integral to the look and the feel of the show. But Randall, slam dunk. Slam-dunk choice.
Jenna [00:16:47] Thank you.
Angela [00:16:50] Also, Matt Sohn. He hikes like crazy and he was also super outdoorsy camera guy. He's sinewy. I bet he can like, get into places.
Rainn [00:17:00] He's sinewy?
Angela [00:17:01] You know, like, he can climb things. One time he invited me to go for a hike. This was years ago and I was like, "I'm so tired. I don't know." He was hiking and he had his kid, who was toddler sized, in a one of those backpacks that the kid sits in.
Jenna [00:17:16] Yeah, we used to do that.
Angela [00:17:17] I was like, "I am the one being like, 'I'm kind of tired' and he's carrying another person on the hike."
Rainn [00:17:24] He should have put you in the back pack.
Angela [00:17:26] I know, just like Dwight and Angela.
Rainn [00:17:28] You're American doll size. That's what we do in Amazing Race, is we have a kid's backpack and I carry you for the whole thing.
Angela [00:17:34] Yes. That's it.
Jenna [00:17:37] We figured it out.
Angela [00:17:38] And I have water with a long straw that I feed you, as we go. Yeah.
Rainn [00:17:42] Camelback. Yep.
Jenna [00:17:44] Perfect. Yeah.
Rainn [00:17:45] I think you just urinate into a satchel, kind of like in "Dune" and then the urine is processed into water and that's what I drink. I'm essentially drinking your urine.
Jenna [00:17:55] It's all recyclable, you guys. That's amazing. So smart. You never have to rest.
Rainn [00:18:00] Just like in Dune. I bet you guys haven't even seen Dune, have you?
Angela [00:18:04] Of course I have, are you crazy?
Jenna [00:18:06] No.
Angela [00:18:06] I have teenagers.
Rainn [00:18:07] Jenna hasn't.
Angela [00:18:08] Dune is so good, Jenna. It's so good.
Jenna [00:18:10] Is it like "Star Wars?"
Rainn [00:18:12] Dune II is even better.
Angela [00:18:13] No. Dune II is fantastic.
Rainn [00:18:13] They're so good!
Jenna [00:18:16] It was I tried to watch it and it was 20 minutes of just...
Angela [00:18:21] What?
Jenna [00:18:21] It was just so slow moving and sand and I didn't understand anything.
Angela [00:18:25] Oh my god.
Jenna [00:18:26] I'm sorry.
Angela [00:18:27] Lady!
Jenna [00:18:27] I am sorry.
Rainn [00:18:28] Who was the woman who hosted the Golden Globes? Nikki Glaser. Did you see her monolog?
Angela [00:18:33] Did she not like it? I didn't see it.
Jenna [00:18:34] Did she say the same thing?
Rainn [00:18:36] Oh my God. Her monolog is so funny. When you're done with this, go watch Nikki Glaser's monolog. It is so funny. It's a home run.
Angela [00:18:47] Does she go off on Dune?
Rainn [00:18:47] She goes like, "Hans Zimmer is here. Congratulations Hans Zimmer," because he did the soundtrack to Dune. And she's like, "My favorite song of yours is the one that goes [makes wind tunnel noises]"
Angela [00:18:56] [laughing] That's so good!
Jenna [00:19:03] She's very funny.
Rainn [00:19:07] It made me giggle. Get her on Office Ladies.
Jenna [00:19:08] We should.
Angela [00:19:09] Yeah! Nikki, come on. Alright, so everyone, we're gonna watch Rainn's Bear Grylls and Ed's, and now we're going to watch Nikki's opening monolog.
Jenna [00:19:17] For the Golden Globes.
Rainn [00:19:19] And Dune 1 and 2, and why not watch Rainn's new movie that's out on Hulu called "Code 3?"
Jenna [00:19:24] Okay, I've seen Rainn's new movie, Code 3, and it's excellent, Rainn. It's truly excellent, and you're so good in it. It's so funny, but it's more than funny. Here's my pitch. If you like the TV show, "The Pit," this is the paramedic version of The Pit but also funnier. So it's like comedic The Pit, but paramedics.
Angela [00:19:48] That is a great pitch, Jenna. I want to watch that. Rainn, I'm sorry, it's in my cue. I'm sorry.
Jenna [00:19:54] It's a whole day. It's one shift, one long shift as a paramedic. Your character's last shift. You're going to get out of the paramedics life and I won't say anymore.
Rainn [00:20:06] And I'm training a new rookie paramedic on my last shift.
Jenna [00:20:09] Who is great? Who is that actress? She's great.
Rainn [00:20:13] Aimee Carrero.
Jenna [00:20:14] The whole cast is great.
Rainn [00:20:16] Lil Rel Howery. Rob Riggle. There's the Office connection. Rob Riggle, Captain, what's his name? Captain Bob?
Jenna [00:20:23] Captain Bob?
Angela [00:20:24] Captain Jack.
Jenna [00:20:26] Rob Riggle plays a really ass-holy doctor in the emergency room.
Angela [00:20:35] Well, everybody, go see Code 3. Folks are loving it. And Rain, thank you so much for being on Friday Chit Chat with us.
Rainn [00:20:45] I love you guys so much. This has been such a pleasure. Thanks for having me.
Angela [00:20:48] Thanks Rainn!
Jenna [00:20:48] We love you!
Rainn [00:20:52] No one's listening to the show, though. No one is listening.
Angela [00:20:54] [laughing] Shut up.
Jenna [00:20:54] Jenna F. already commented how much she loved this episode. She wrote in, and she said, "I love this episode so much."
Rainn [00:21:04] Oh, look, here's a new comment from, uh, Creed B.
Jenna [00:21:07] What's Creed say?
Angela [00:21:09] He says, "Yes, I do have grubs." Angela K has also hearted this and given it a thumbs up and a little lady running in the red dress. So she really enjoyed this episode.
Rainn [00:21:22] Nice use of emojis.
Angela [00:21:23] All right, everyone, come back Rainn. Come back anytime.
Jenna [00:21:27] Love you. Bye.
Rainn [00:21:28] Bye, guys.