TRANSCRIPT
Office Ladies | Episode 302 - Boom! Roasted!
Jenna [00:00:04] I'm Jenna Fischer,
Angela [00:00:05] and I'm Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:00:06] We were on "The Office" together,
Angela [00:00:08] and we're best friends.
Jenna [00:00:09] And now we're doing the ultimate Office lover's podcast, just for you.
Angela [00:00:13] Each week we will dive deeper into the world of The Office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details, and lots of BFF stories.
Jenna [00:00:21] We're the Office Ladies 6.0.
audio cue [00:00:01] [musical sting]
Jenna [00:00:01] Hello
Angela [00:00:01] I just want to tell you something. I'm not sure if you realize this. It looks like you still have the imprint of maybe your pillowcase Did you sleep really hard last night?
Jenna [00:00:12] [laughing] I guess I did.
Angela [00:00:14] I mean, I know you were tired.
Jenna [00:00:15] I was...
Angela [00:00:16] You were texting me at like almost 11 o'clock, which is so late for you.
Jenna [00:00:20] It's so late for me.
Angela [00:00:21] I was in bed, lights off. I'm like, "What's happening? What's... Jenna?"
Jenna [00:00:25] That's a role reversal.
Angela [00:00:26] I know, right?
Jenna [00:00:27] That never happens. You're the late night texter. Well, you know, everybody, you're going to be listening to this in July.
Angela [00:00:35] Hi, July.
Jenna [00:00:35] Hi July, but we're recording this back in June and,
Angela [00:00:39] it's the last week of school for our kids.
Jenna [00:00:42] Exactly.
Angela [00:00:42] You know how that is.
Jenna [00:00:43] Yeah, and last night was the sixth grade graduation party. At my kid's school, they do a sixth grade graduation and a twelfth grade graduation. So elementary school is K through sixth.
Angela [00:00:56] Same, eighth grade gets nothing.
Jenna [00:00:58] That's right.
Angela [00:00:58] Sorry, eighth-grade.
Jenna [00:00:59] My sister's kids go K through eighth, so they have a big eighth grade graduation.
Angela [00:01:04] Right, right. We have sixth grade and twelfth grade.
Jenna [00:01:07] And let me tell you who parties hard. It is sixth grade moms who made it through elementary school.
Angela [00:01:15] God bless you, sixth grade moms.
Jenna [00:01:17] This one mom, oh my gosh, we're so grateful to her. She opened up her house, her backyard. She had all the families there. I don't even know how many people that was.
Angela [00:01:28] Oh, I always worry about the bathrooms. That's a lot of people using your bathroom.
Jenna [00:01:32] Yeah, it is.
Angela [00:01:32] Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on that. Continue.
Jenna [00:01:35] But they put out a dance floor on the lawn, and there was a DJ. And there were a set of songs that were clearly for the moms. Like, the kids cleared off the floor. I'm talking Run, DMC. It was a good time.
Angela [00:01:52] Can I tell you, at ours, the one that all the moms showed up for was "Come on, Eileen." It was such a moment in time.
Jenna [00:02:02] Yes, yes. But there was this one part where the DJ's like, "Alright, get down low, get down low." And I got down low.
Angela [00:02:09] But did you get back up?
Jenna [00:02:10] This, I did not plan ahead. I did get up. I did, but it was real like, creaky and slow. But all of that is to say, yeah... I mean, I got home at 10:30, that's not even late. But I was so fired up, I couldn't fall asleep till like one, so I'm tired today.
Angela [00:02:32] I think getting home at 10:30 is late.
Jenna [00:02:33] I mean, I usually go to bed at nine o'clock.
Angela [00:02:36] I know, because now I don't text you after nine. Because I know she ti-ti.
Jenna [00:02:42] I mean, I'm grouchy if you text me at 8, because I'm like, "Do not fire up my brain. I won't make it."
Angela [00:02:48] She's not gonna make it, anyway. Sorry, that got me so tickled. We have such a fun episode today, guys.
Jenna [00:02:53] We do. I mean, I'm like really excited about it.
Angela [00:02:56] I'm really excited. And it was an absolute blast to revisit this.
Jenna [00:03:01] Today's episode was inspired by us finding our "Stress Relief part two" Candy Bag alts for Michael's roast. We're calling this one "Boom, Roasted."
Angela [00:03:12] You guys will not believe how much was in the Candy Bag alts for this episode. I just wanna loop you in. Are you ready for this? I'm gonna throw some numbers at you.
Jenna [00:03:19] Great.
Angela [00:03:21] The overall "Stress Relief" main Candy Bag document was 320 pages. The Candy Bags just for the scenes and talking heads for the roast is 207 pages. And the Candy Bags, just solely for alternate roast jokes, is 40 pages.
Jenna [00:03:41] I mean, that is so nuts.
Angela [00:03:43] It is nuts.
Jenna [00:03:45] Well, we thought it would be fun to dig into those. We also watched the super fan episode of Stress Relief Part Two. I found this Jim talking head that was added back to the episode. Jim is kind of summing up how he thinks their roast is gonna go. And I think it's also going to apply to our podcast. Let's hear it.
clip from The Office - Jim [00:04:05] To quote Michael, "This will be like shooting fish in a barbell."
Jenna [00:04:10] Yeah, fish in a barbell.
Angela [00:04:12] That's one of Michael's mangleds.
Jenna [00:04:14] Exactly! Exactly this episode, I feel like, is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel, because we have read these Candy Bag alts and they are so great. Also, there is a good chance we're going to mangle something because i am very tired and you are you and so it might be like -
Angela [00:04:30] Excuse me?
Jenna [00:04:30] - shooting a fish in a bucket.
Angela [00:04:33] Excuse me?! You get a pass for being tired and I just walk in every day, a f**king hot mess? How dare you?
Sam [00:04:40] [laughing] I know exactly what you meant by that, too.
Jenna [00:04:46] [laughing] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm tired! I'm so tired!
Angela [00:04:48] Oh, I'm sorry. So when Jenna's tired, you get the truth serum.
Jenna [00:04:53] I have no edit button today. I'm too tired.
Angela [00:04:55] Okay.
Jenna [00:04:56] But don't you think?
Angela [00:04:59] No, I'm not going to label myself an everyday hot mess.
Jenna [00:05:03] No! Not a hot mess, but a mangled worder.
Angela [00:05:06] Oh, yes. Yes, a mangled worder, yes.
Jenna [00:05:11] I might mangle some words today because I'm really tired and you might mangel some words today because you are you.
Angela [00:05:17] Right, that's just the Angela Kinsey happening.
Jenna [00:05:21] Just an Angela Special.
Angela [00:05:23] Okay, fine. Okay, now I see where you were going.
Jenna [00:05:25] You saw where I was going. Alright. But first, oh, speaking of sleeping, our chit chat suggestion. It's coming in from Lily D. in Mobile, Alabama. Let's hear it.
Lily D. [00:05:40] Hi Office Ladies, my name is Lily. I'm from Mobile, Alabama. My question for you today is, do you sleep in silence or do you sleep with white noise? I'm a youth minister and recently I had an overnight event with my students and they made so much fun of me for listening to white noise. And so, I'm curious if you sleep in silence or with white noise. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to answer my question. And I just wanna say I've been a listener from the very beginning and I just love you guys so much, thank you.
Angela [00:06:18] Lily, thank you so much. We love you right back.
Jenna [00:06:21] Lily, did you get any sleep that night, when you did that sleepover?
Angela [00:06:26] I mean, I've done a youth retreat when I was younger. It can be a little bit of mayhem.
Jenna [00:06:30] Well, I always wonder how are the adults sleeping? Like, on these field trips and on these sleepover events?
Angela [00:06:37] I know, especially if you're in a room with a bunch of bunks and a bunch of kids all hopped up on excitement because they're away.
Jenna [00:06:44] Mm-hmm, yeah
Angela [00:06:46] I mean, I know my answer to this, guys, right away.
Jenna [00:06:49] Well, yeah, I knew mine, too.
Angela [00:06:50] I need silence.
Jenna [00:06:52] Silence.
Angela [00:06:54] Silence, silence. I, one time, was like...
Jenna [00:06:56] No white noise?
Angela [00:06:58] No white noise, and it's a little tricky, because Josh needs green noise.
Jenna [00:07:01] What's green noise?
Angela [00:07:02] I don't know, it's an app he has, it's like green noise, and so...
Jenna [00:07:05] Green noise? I've never heard of green noise...
Angela [00:07:07] Sam, you're nodding.
Jenna [00:07:08] What is green noise?
Sam [00:07:11] I listen to 432 Hertz, which is the Delta brain wave. It's the Hertz that your brain waves function on for eight hours on YouTube. That's what I sleep to. I think green noise is similar to that.
Angela [00:07:25] Okay. Well, I hadn't heard of it, but he read up on like - Because he went through a phase where he just was having some insomnia. So this green noise, he plays it and I can't really hear it. It's fine. Like, I don't even know what the sound is, but it doesn't really bother me. But I kind of need to go to sleep before he turns it on. Does that make sense? And then it's playing and I'm fine. Otherwise, I like silence. And if I go to your house, if you're so nice and say, "Hey, Ange, you're visiting, here's my guest room." I'm gonna have to walk through that guest room and I'm going to have to look for any lights. If you have an outlet that has a little green flashy light, I'm wanna be covering it with something. Then if you have a cute little alarm clock that has a little tick noise...
Jenna [00:08:11] My parents have that in both of their guest rooms.
Angela [00:08:12] I have to unplug it or take the batteries out.
Jenna [00:08:15] Same, I feel bad because the last time I was at my parents' house, I went into the guest bedroom to lay down and take a nap. I hid the clock, the ticking clock, under the bed and I forgot to put it back. They're probably like, "Where's my bedside clock?"
Angela [00:08:30] I've done that. I've rolled it up in a sheet and put it in a drawer.
Jenna [00:08:33] Exactly.
Angela [00:08:34] Okay. So yeah, I need silence. I do like to sleep with a window open though, so whatever's going on outside just kind of becomes my white noise, I think. Like, whatever, birds chirping...
Jenna [00:08:49] Sam, can you play some of the green noise for us?
Sam [00:08:51] I absolutely can.
audio cue [00:08:52] [noise plays]
Jenna [00:08:56] Oh my god, my body is having a response to this sound.
Sam [00:08:59] In a good way?
Jenna [00:09:00] In a good way.
Sam [00:09:01] So this is 250 Hertz which is supposed to be calming and relieving.
Jenna [00:09:08] Am I in a womb? Am I on a plane? Where am I?
Angela [00:09:11] To me it's like I either am hearing the ocean or I'm on a plane.
Sam [00:09:15] That's interesting you say the womb, that's what it's supposed to emulate; the sound of blood around you and inside the womb noises.
Jenna [00:09:22] We're in a womb. Cozy.
Sam [00:09:24] That's where we're recording from today.
Jenna [00:09:26] Okay, interesting. Maybe I'll try it. Well, my answer is that I need a lot of things to sleep. I need white noise.
Angela [00:09:34] This is not surprising. The lady loves a list.
Jenna [00:09:37] I need white noise. I need blackout curtains. This was my favorite thing about Japan, was that the curtains in all the hotel rooms overlapped.
Angela [00:09:47] Mm-hmm.
Jenna [00:09:48] They didn't just stop when they got to the middle and then you had to pile pillows up so that you didn't have something seeping through.
Angela [00:09:54] You would really like Iceland because they get so much daylight at different times of the year that they do not mess around.
Jenna [00:10:01] With their curtains?
Angela [00:10:01] Yeah.
Jenna [00:10:03] So I need blackout curtains. I don't understand people who just have sheer curtains on their windows.
Angela [00:10:15] What's the point?
Jenna [00:10:15] I don't understand it. It's confusing to me.
Angela [00:10:17] In a bedroom. Fine, you want to have them in a living room so you get some light.
Sam [00:10:21] Can I ask what temperature you require your bedroom to be?
Jenna [00:10:24] 71 degrees.
Sam [00:10:25] Okay.
Angela [00:10:26] I like my bedroom cold.
Jenna [00:10:28] I know.
Sam [00:10:28] Yeah, same here. Cold with lots of blankets is the correct answer, right?
Angela [00:10:31] Yeah, me too. Like, with a weighted blanket. So cozy.
Sam [00:10:32] Okay, good. Yes, exactly.
Jenna [00:10:35] So I definitely sleep with white noise, Lily. I also sleep with an eye mask on, just in case we have any failure of said curtains. I also asleep with special earplugs that I did a bunch of research about, and they are actually phenomenal. I read about them on a Christmas list for things to get people who are hard to shop for. I bought them for myself and I love them. And a fan, I have to have a fan blowing on me for my hot flashes.
Angela [00:11:01] We have traveled together many times now, over these years, and one of my favorite things is... I forget where we were, but we had a hotel room that had a little connecty door. I was fully showered, had done my hair, was doing my makeup, and you came through the connecty door with your eye mask on your forehead. I think one of your earplugs in your hand, very discombobulated, because you had overslept your alarm, and I was almost ready to walk out the door. But lady, how do you hear your alarm?
Jenna [00:11:33] I hear it.
Angela [00:11:33] You hear it, through the earplugs and the noise and all the things?
Jenna [00:11:38] Yeah.
Angela [00:11:38] Okay. Well, you didn't that morning.
Jenna [00:11:40] [laughing] I guess not.
Angela [00:11:42] Lily, I love that question. I love these little slice of life shares. I think they're so fun.
Jenna [00:11:48] I love our new format for Office Ladies. I was thinking about it and just how much I love it because of how much it involves getting to hear from people.
Angela [00:11:57] Yes.
Jenna [00:11:57] We totally stole this from "How We Made Your Mother." They start every episode with an audience member's voice memo. I love so much. And we were like, "We have to do that." I'm loving it.
Angela [00:12:12] It's sort of a callback to the very beginning of Office Ladies, where people would call in and read the summary, remember?
Jenna [00:12:17] Oh yeah.
Angela [00:12:17] And we loved that.
Jenna [00:12:19] We did.
Angela [00:12:19] So here we are.
Jenna [00:12:21] Well, listen, we're going to take a break and then we are going to get into Boom Roasted.
audio cue [00:12:29] [musical sting]
[00:12:29] Well, we are back. And before we dig into all of the additional roasting from this episode, I want us to remember Michael's expectations for this roast. Because he has a lot of expectations for how the roast is going to go. In rewatching this episode I was so excited to find that there was an extended scene between Michael and Darryl. You might remember before the roast, he goes down to the warehouse to talk to Darryl. He wants to talk about what is the stage going to look like. What kind of chair is he gonna have? It's this amazing scene and it was all expanded for the super fan. I think we need to hear it.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:13:05] So that's the stage. Alright, yeah. You know, that'll work. That'll work for my roast.
clip from The Office - Darryl [00:13:11] Supposed to be working as warehouse.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:13:12] Well, this is all about morale, Darryl. I will need a big chair, comfy chair, like a throne for the... The man of honor, and I think all the other roasters should be up here on stage as well.
clip from The Office - Darryl [00:13:27] Everyone's on the stage?
clip from The Office - Michael [00:13:28] Yeah, like a Comedy Central roast.
clip from The Office - Darryl [00:13:29] Who's in the audience?
clip from The Office - Michael [00:13:30] The audience will be in the audience, we'll charge $10 a head.
clip from The Office - Darryl [00:13:33] Charge who?
clip from The Office - Michael [00:13:34] We'll need alcohol, because that's very important for a roast, you need to get people drunk, and you need something to spit.
clip from The Office - Darryl [00:13:42] You gonna be spittin' in here?
clip from The Office - Michael [00:13:43] Spit takes, yes, I'll be doing some spit takes. If it's funny enough, or I will do finger guns, or. [does Sammy Davis Jr. impression] Right? Sammy Davis Jr. moves, but you know that. Or I will double over, or I will do the point, like, "Oh, you got me." What?
clip from The Office - Dwight [00:14:00] [breathing hard] I got your big picture you wanted.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:14:01] No, no, no. I need a big picture. Something to cover the whole back of the dais.
clip from The Office - Dwight [00:14:05] I have to go to the printer.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:14:06] Well go, please. Oh, and get me a drum and a cymbal. I wanna do ba-dum-bums.
clip from The Office - Darryl [00:14:10] Rim shots.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:14:11] No, ba-dup-bum.
clip from The Office - Dwight [00:14:12] Technical term is rim shots.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:14:13] [dismissive noises]
Jenna [00:14:16] By the way, when I was watching the roast, he does all those things. He does, obviously, the ba-dump-bump. But he does finger guns. He does the point. It's amazing.
Angela [00:14:27] I am really realizing, though, that ba-dump-dumps is something I'd probably say. It's making me think of when we first started rewatching The Office, when I would call the shot through the blinds "the peep shot." You're like, "You mean the spy shot?"
Jenna [00:14:44] Well, it's just that we called it a spy shot!
Angela [00:14:46] I know! It's what I think the true term is, not the peep shot. Alright you guys, now it's time to dive into the Candy Bag alts. Oh, it is so good. We thought we would start right before the roast begins with some talking heads that really set the tone for how people in the office felt about the roast and how hard they were gonna go at Michael. I'm gonna kick us off with a Candy Bag alt for Angela Martin. Angela would have said, "I wish I'd thought of writing down every problem I had with Michael for the last five years." Angela pretends to find a notebook, which she holds up. "Oh, wait a minute," and she points to it. She has been keeping a journal of every time Michael has pissed her off.
Jenna [00:15:30] That's pretty amazing. Well, Andy had some real gems, too. Here is one of his talking heads. Andy was going to say, "Every now and then you gotta just take the gloves off and really rip into someone. For the Bernards, that's traditionally been on Thanksgiving. So this will be a nice test run."
Angela [00:15:49] Can you imagine Thanksgiving at Andy Bernard's parents' house?
Jenna [00:15:52] I cannot.
Angela [00:15:53] How many jabs they throw at him? Oh my gosh. Alright, here's one from Kevin. Kevin would have said, "Michael letting us tell him how much he sucks is probably the coolest thing he's ever done. He set up a PA system and everything."
Jenna [00:16:08] And lastly, here is one from Oscar that really paints a picture. I mean, Michael has no idea what he's in for. Oscar would have said, "As an accountant, it's my duty to measure the value of roasting Michael against the potential of getting fired. But as a man, I have no choice but to destroy him."
Angela [00:16:28] [laughing] Destroy him. Oh, and if you think the roasts that made it into the actual episode were rough on Michael, just wait until you hear the alts. O-M-G, but guys, it's time for the roast. Michael is so excited to get it started. This is going to take a turn very quickly, but let's hear his opening speech, just full of enthusiasm.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:16:49] Woohoo! Welcome, welcome, welcome! You are all jerks! Just kidding. Not yet, anyway. Welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you're here for the Grabowski wedding, it is the second door on the left. So, we all know how these work. Needs to get crazy. Take your best shot. I am going to sit right over here. And whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may.
Jenna [00:17:18] Well, Angela, you are first up.
Angela [00:17:21] Oh, yeah, I charged the stage.
Jenna [00:17:22] Yes and dare I say, I think it's the best roast.
Angela [00:17:26] No.
Jenna [00:17:27] I really do. I really, really do, and I didn't see it coming. I think as a fan of the show, you don't necessarily think that Angela is going to be a really good roaster, but she is. She's going to roast him Jeff Foxworthy style. That's how it's described in the script. It says "Angela does a very bland Jeff Foxworthy." Something I feel like we should share with people is that the Superfan episode does not have a bunch of extra roast stuff in it.
Angela [00:17:57] That's right. Even though we filmed a bunch, there's only two characters (we'll get to them) where they're extended.
Jenna [00:18:03] Yes, so this is Angela's roast of Michael.
clip from The Office - Angela [00:18:08] If you ever wondered whether you were Michael Scott, here's a quiz to help. If you've ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. If you have ever called the fire department because your head was stuck in your chair, you might be...
clip from The Office - crowd [00:18:25] Michael Scott!
Jenna [00:18:32] I thought those were very good and also they weren't too mean, but they were true.
Angela [00:18:38] I remember some of the direction the director, Jeff Blitz, gave me was that after the first one goes well, for the second one he was like, "Why don't you just like take the mic off the stand and start struttin' around? You know, like she's really feelin' herself."
Jenna [00:18:52] Well, Angela had a few more Jeff Foxworthy style jokes in the alts. Angela, will you read them? They make my day.
Angela [00:19:02] "If you've ever frozen your hand to your car because you were washing it in the winter, then you might be Michael Scott." "If you ever conned a publicly traded corporation into letting you run a branch, you might be Michael Scott." "If you think the military draft and the football draft are the same thing, you might be Michael Scott."
Jenna [00:19:23] So good.
Angela [00:19:24] Well, next up is Kelly and here's what made it into the super fan episode.
clip from The Office - Kelly [00:19:30] I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott: a turtle, a fridge, anybody from the warehouse, a wood chipper, Kevin, a candle, and Lord Voldemort. Anyway, happy birthday, Michael.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:19:48] [in the background, off mic] Yeah, you'd be so lucky!
Angela [00:19:51] So are you ready for some crazy alts?
Jenna [00:19:53] Okay.
Angela [00:19:54] First of all, in the Candy Bag, not only does Kelly roast Michael, but then she turns on her coworkers and singles a few people out. Let's start with the alts for her Michael roast. Kelly would have said, "They say a good boss sweats the details. Michael is just really sweaty. Seriously, you guys, it's gross." Another one, "We've made a lot of fun of Michael tonight. But I'd actually like to propose a toast, and she holds up her glass. Few people in this world are as smart or as funny or as good-hearted as Michael Scott thinks he is. So let's all toast this dumb, corny pr***k."
Jenna [00:20:33] [laughing] Oh my God.
Angela [00:20:36] But are you ready for what she said about Pam?
Jenna [00:20:38] Okay, I remember these, cause I think we shot some of these. They are not in the super fan episode, but I remember them, cause Kelly loves to take on Pam.
Angela [00:20:47] Mm-hmm, here we go. Kelly would have said about Pam, "Pam, if it weren't for you, I'd definitely be the prettiest girl in this office, hands down. And I really wish I didn't always get that competitive vibe from you. The truth is, if I wanted Jim, I could have had him. So get over it." And then she turns to the crowd and goes, "You guys can laugh anytime you want."
Jenna [00:21:11] That's what I mean. I feel like I remember that. Well, everyone now get ready because it's Meredith's turn. Let's hear what made it into the episode.
clip from The Office - Meredith [00:21:22] Michael, you ran over me with your car. [rimshot] You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board with a caption that said, "Gross." Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget.
Angela [00:21:46] That's one of the ones where he does his fingerguns.
Jenna [00:21:49] Yes, he also does the drum in that one. Alright, well, here is Meredith's crazy alt. Buckle in, it gets dark, folks. Meredith says, "You're the reason I live to forget. You're the reasons I go to a gun range to blow off steam. You, Michael Scott, are the reason why I capture small rodents and torture them. Those poor rodents, what did they do?"
Angela [00:22:14] Oh my gosh.
Jenna [00:22:15] I mean... What?
Angela [00:22:17] What?
Jenna [00:22:19] What? Oh, that's dark.
Angela [00:22:22] It's very dark.
Jenna [00:22:23] Very, very intense. But wait (and I remember this from the day), Meredith also had roasts for her other coworkers, including Jim and Pam. I remember that there was this sort of alt-story line where, for whatever reason, people pile on Jim and Pam during this roast. So, Meredith would have said, "Pam and Jim think they are so cute. Guess what? You didn't invent humping. Get over yourself."
Angela [00:22:50] [laughing] That's funny. Okay, next up is Oscar and his roast is extended. It's one of the ones that got extra footage in the super fan version. I want you to hear it.
clip from The Office - Oscar [00:23:01] The only man in the state of Pennsylvania who is less likely to get legally married than me is Michael Scott. Michael is so bad with money, he invested in Enron last week. That was, that was privileged. He thinks balancing a checkbook is putting a check book on his nose and shouting, "Look at me, look at me!" [in Spanish] You give me an ulcer every time I wake up and I have to go to work for you, for you!
Angela [00:23:28] Okay, so he really goes at him. But there was so much more in the Candy Bag alts. Oscar actually might have had the most alts, next to Pam. Lady, there's so many. I think we each share a few.
Jenna [00:23:40] Okay.
Angela [00:23:40] Alright, I'll go first. Oscar would have said, "Michael loves jokes. Here's a joke for you, Michael is smart." Oscar would have said, "I'd say Michael was as dumb as a rock, but rocks are able to go a whole day without telling a dumb joke. Rocks don't make you sit through meetings about how we're having too many meetings. Rocks, don't have parties to celebrate National Pharmacist Day."
Jenna [00:24:06] And here's two more. Oscar would have said, "Michael, what's the difference between you and a car alarm? At least a car alarm has a purpose." Or "Remember when I briefly convinced you that math was spelled M-A-F-F? Worst day of my life."
Angela [00:24:23] Is he walking around saying maff?
Jenna [00:24:26] Probably.
Angela [00:24:27] And Oscar, like Kelly and Meredith, also turns on his coworkers in the room. Oscar would have said this: "You hear a lot of phrases these days: layoffs, price at the pump, sinkhole, but enough about Meredith."
Jenna [00:24:42] Mm-hmm. And then he turns on Angela. Listen to this one. He said, "What do Dwight and Andy and Alon have in common? Angela has hosed all of them."
Angela [00:24:52] What the hell, Oscar?
Jenna [00:24:54] Jeez. Well, now Toby tries to come up to roast Michael, but Michael screams at him. He says, "No! Friends only!" So we never get to hear what Toby might've said, but guess what? They did write some jokes in the Candy Bag alts for Toby, and the thing that is so amazing to me about that is that I know they never had any intention of letting Toby get up on stage to roast Michael. Never. But the writers could not stop themselves from writing roasts from Toby's perspective anyway.
Angela [00:25:28] Oh yeah, they actually wrote alt-roasts for every character on the show. We are actually just going by the ones that actually had moments coming up to stage, but there was so much stuff for everybody.
Jenna [00:25:42] There was this whole weird list of alt jokes where Phyllis gets on stage and roasts Stanley.
Angela [00:25:51] Yes! She singles out Stanley.
Jenna [00:25:53] For, like, an entire page.
Angela [00:25:55] I know.
Jenna [00:25:56] Craziness. Okay, so here is what Toby might have said if he had had a chance to roast Michael. "They say the ice caps are melting and that polar bears are endangered. Also endangered? All of us, from radon poisoning, because Michael doesn't believe it's a serious threat."
Angela [00:26:13] This radon runner is one of my absolute favorite things of the entire show.
Jenna [00:26:17] Same. I love his obsession with the radon poisoning. Toby also had this alt: "It's important to remember that Michael was not always the incompetent manager he is today. He used to be an incompetent salesman."
Angela [00:26:31] Now it's Jim's turn and I want to read you how it's set up in the shooting draft. It says, "Jim comes up and puts a large diagram on an easel. It shows an outline of a man's body with arrows pointing to various body parts." His roast in the superfan is much longer than what originally aired, I want you guys to hear it.
clip from The Office - Jim [00:26:52] These are actually injuries that Michael has had, starting off with repeated burnt tongue from overeager Pop-Tart consumption.
clip from The Office - crowd [00:27:03] [laughter]
clip from The Office - Jim [00:27:03] A torn ACL from trying to hurdle Angela one day. [crowd laughs] Bruised testy, same scenario. [crowd laughter] You burned your foot on a Foreman Grill.
clip from The Office - crowd [00:27:14] [laughter]
clip from The Office - Jim [00:27:15] These are just a few things that have been caught in Michael's zipper. His finger, a sandwich, Kevin's finger trying to remove that sandwich. Big question mark, that would stand for a list of contents that are in Michael's stomach that we know of. A pound of chewing gum, two peach pits, at least five keys from the Houdini Magic Handcuff set. His new favorite are these new edible M&M wrappers. But they're not edible because it was an internet hoax.
clip from The Office - crowd [00:27:48] [laughter]
clip from The Office - Jim [00:27:50] Well, several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:27:55] I know where this is going.
clip from The Office - Jim [00:27:56] Do you?
clip from The Office - Michael [00:27:57] No.
clip from The Office - Jim [00:27:57] OK. Remember Spider Face?
clip from The Office - Michael [00:28:00] No.
clip from The Office - Jim [00:28:00] OK, because the quote was, "Cut off your nose to Spider Face."
clip from The Office - Michael [00:28:03] OK. Yeah...
Angela [00:28:09] So the alts for Jim were just more and more speeches like that. Just more and more things and it was so long, but we thought just playing the extended clip would give you an idea.
Jenna [00:28:20] Well, next up, Dwight gets very upset. He goes up on stage. He's gonna defend Michael. But Michael and him end up getting into a fight and then Dwight inadvertently roasts him by calling him a pathetic short little man that doesn't have any friends or family, or any land. And guess what? There were no alts for that.
Angela [00:28:41] None!
clip from The Office - Jim [00:28:42] No, I think this was a very important plot point that you see Dwight turn on Michael. Because it's really like now, Michael is kind of without a defender or any friends. Like, truly in this room.
Angela [00:28:56] He's totally alone up there. And then it's Pam's turn. Oh my goodness, lady. Pam is gonna tie with Oscar for best snarky roast in the Candy Bag alts. First let's hear what made it into the actual episode.
clip from The Office - Pam [00:29:15] Well, I just want to take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott. He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:29:29] You know what? Forgive me for caring, right?
clip from The Office - Pam [00:29:34] Well, you know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself, ever.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:29:40] Ha ha ha ha!
clip from The Office - Pam [00:29:41] And one time, I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small.
clip from The Office - crowd [00:29:46] How small is it?
Jenna [00:29:49] If it were an iPod, it would be a Shuffle!
Angela [00:29:54] She went there!
Jenna [00:29:55] She went there.
Angela [00:29:56] Can I say one thing?
Jenna [00:29:58] What?
Angela [00:29:58] Since I am Michael's mangled phrases of this duo,
Jenna [00:30:02] Yes.
Angela [00:30:02] You are Michael's internet scam person. You have, over the course of our friendship, fallen for several internet scams. Sam knows it as well.
Jenna [00:30:15] Including our enneagram test that I made everybody take.
Angela [00:30:19] Where we paid $1.95 and then we found out that we were charged again.
Jenna [00:30:21] That we were secretly charged. We were secretly entered into a subscription.
Angela [00:30:26] For $35 a month.
Jenna [00:30:28] I'm so sorry everybody. It did seem too good to be true.
Sam [00:30:32] It was truly perfect. It took a full day before it debited out of my account.
Angela [00:30:39] Anyway, okay. So we are the perfect duo, lady.
Jenna [00:30:45] You know what I also did? My daughter came to me. What was it she wanted? A jelly cat.
Angela [00:30:51] Oh, you were so excited. I saw this whole journey. Because first you're like, "Ange, these jelly cats are on sale."
Jenna [00:30:58] But only for the next hour.
Angela [00:30:58] I had to quickly log on and I'm so excited because we got these jelly cats.
Jenna [00:31:03] Yes, and so I went on and I entered my credit card information and then it said something about how it needed a different credit card. I'm in a rush. I entered three credit cards.
Angela [00:31:16] You guys, basically...
Jenna [00:31:18] Three! It got all my credit cards and I had to cancel all my credit cards, and the way we found out was the next morning. My daughter was like, "Mom, the sale is still going on."
Angela [00:31:34] And you're like, "But I thought it was only an hour."
Jenna [00:31:36] When I went on the website, there was a countdown clock. And I was like, "Wait," and I went back and it was the same countdown clock. Lady, it gets worse. You think it can't get worse. I texted that link to the mom chat. I was like, "Guys, jelly cats are on sale for an hour."
Angela [00:31:56] So you got me and Sam and Matt in an internet scam and the mom text thread.
Jenna [00:32:02] And so that morning I was like, "Oh my God, I hope no one ordered any jellycats." Guess what? It's a scam. They're not actually selling jellycats for $15 for an hour.
Angela [00:32:12] They're just fishing for your credit card information.
Jenna [00:32:13] And they were like, "It's OK. We didn't order any. But thanks for letting us know." Oh, my God. Now you know why we had to dance so hard last night. We've been through a lot.
Angela [00:32:25] You've been through a lot together. Anyway, I'm just saying, we both are sides of Michael.
Jenna [00:32:30] This is true. This is very true.
Angela [00:32:32] But back to Pam, you have to share some of Pam's roast alts for Michael, Jenna.
Jenna [00:32:38] Does have some good roast alts. Okay, here they are. "Michael is so dumb that Kevin thinks he's dumb." "Michael Scott is to comedy as Angela is to comedy."
Angela [00:32:50] Hey!
Jenna [00:32:50] I know. Alright, how about this one? "No one in the office spends more time with Michael than I do. Anyone up for tradesies?" "Michael doesn't wash his hands after he pees. On many occasions, I've watched him go right from the bathroom into his office to eat a sandwich. Michael is a piss eater, everyone."
Angela [00:33:12] Someone else doesn't wash their hands sometimes.
Jenna [00:33:14] Hey, I don't touch my business when I pee.
Angela [00:33:17] And then you don't eat after you pee.
Jenna [00:33:19] Thank you. And then this one, "What's the difference between a hockey mom and Michael Scott? A hockey mom has children." Too mean, too far. How about this one? "Scientists say that a man who stares at boobs for 10 minutes a day can add many years to his life. So by my count, Michael will live to about 307."
Angela [00:33:44] What did he call them? Pam and her pam-pams.
Jenna [00:33:46] Pam and her pam-pams. So many. So many things.
Angela [00:33:50] Alright, you guys, but then Pam is gonna roast the room. She goes scorched earth on her coworkers. Listen to these alts. Pam would have said, "I'm not sure any of you know this, but Andy Bernard went to Cornell, where he majored in never shutting up about Cornell. If Cornell is so freaking good, what the hell are you doing in Dunder Mifflin? Most of us got here without any community college. Hey, Andy, can you sing tenor? 10 or 12 miles away from here?"
Jenna [00:34:20] Wow.
Angela [00:34:21] And then she would have turned on Toby. Pam would have said, "Toby, "Scarborough Fair" is depressing enough, but having to hear you hum it over and over every day is about as fun as your Costa Rica pictures."
Jenna [00:34:34] Toby would not have recovered.
Angela [00:34:35] Nope. And then Pam just really opens up. She would have said, "Hey, Michael, what's with the 'world's best boss' mug? You don't see Meredith with a mug that says 'Virgin.' You don't see Jim with 'Humble,' or Kelly with 'Fascinating,' or Kevin with 'Genius,' or Creed with 'Normal,' or the entire office with a mug that says 'this place doesn't suck.'"
Jenna [00:34:57] Okay, that one actually really made me laugh.
Angela [00:35:03] I just have to point out, does Pam actually think Jim...
Jenna [00:35:08] Is a little smudge? Yeah, I think so. Alright. Well, next up is Darryl. And rather than roasting Michael, he asked him if he can name one of the warehouse workers who is sitting in the back of the room. And Michael cannot. Even though said warehouse guy gave him ride home the week before, and they spent an hour in traffic.
Angela [00:35:33] Yeah! And as it turns out the guy's name was Michael. Super cringy. But Darryl did have a few roast alts. Here are two. Darryl would have said, "Here's a list of all the song parodies Michael has asked me to work on with him: 'Pour Some Sugar on Meat,' 'Born in East LA,' (I had to tell him that already existed), 'I Want to Hold Your Boobs,' 'My Fart Will Go On,' 'The Fart of Rock and Roll,' 'Boner of a Lonely Fart,' 'Everytime You Go Away You Take a Piece of Pee with Poo."
Jenna [00:36:09] [takes a deep breath] Wow.
Angela [00:36:09] Yeah, Michael really loves a song where he can work in the word 'fart.'
Jenna [00:36:14] He really does.
Angela [00:36:15] Here's another one. Darryl would have said, "Michael's in pretty good shape, but I guess it's easy to get to the gym when you don't have any friends, family, or people who don't want to choke your ass out. Michael's the only person on MySpace that Tom won't be friends with."
Jenna [00:36:30] Wow, a MySpace joke.
Angela [00:36:32] I mean, people really are going at him for being no friend, no kids.
Jenna [00:36:37] I know, it's rough. It's really rough. Well, after Darryl, Oscar comes back up onto stage and he has Jan on speakerphone and she just roasts the heck out of Michael. We played that clip in our original breakdown, but basically she says, "You ruined my life. Everything you touch turns to crap. You have no sense of how to please any woman. I can't believe you wrote a phone message on my diploma and you used my daughter's christening gown as a bib when you ate ribs. You are just completely an ass, Michael." And then I shared one of my favorite Candy Bag alts for this when we first broke this down. But there were so many more. I have to read you two of Jan's alts. One, "Michael stole my soul and used it as toilet paper."
Angela [00:37:20] So dramatic.
Jenna [00:37:22] I know. This is why, like Jan. The drama. Also, "If mankind was truly created in God's image, Michael is proof that our creator had genital warts."
Angela [00:37:31] Oh my gosh.
Jenna [00:37:33] So rough.
Angela [00:37:35] Okay, well, the roast of Michael Scott ends with Andy, you know he's going to get up and sing a song parody. Let's hear it.
clip from The Office - Andy [00:37:48] That's what I hate about you / You really suck as a boss / You're the loosiest, jerkiest and you're dumber than applesauce / We're stuck listening to you all day / Stanley tried to die just to get away / Well it's true / That's what I hate about you / That's what I hate about you
clip from The Office - crowd [00:38:22] Woo-hoo, yeah!
Angela [00:38:26] I know we're here to talk about the roast, but every time Andy has to end a song with a "hee-dee-bee-deee-bee," that gets me every time. OK. So the Candy Bag alts were mostly more lyrics for this song, OK? But there was one roast alt that was so on brand for Andy. I just want to share it. You know Andy's love of nicknames.
Jenna [00:38:46] Yes.
Angela [00:38:47] OK. Andy would have said, "Michael, I've been trying to find a nickname for you, but there are so many good ones. I thought I'd give you the top 10: Boss Lady, $10 suit, The Incompenator, Hair Club for Men, Pubes, Toilet Monster, Bad Breath Jeff (that might have been on Garbage Pail Kid), Mr. Lonely Pants, Michael Snot, and drum roll, Childless Failure.
Jenna [00:39:14] Oh my gosh, I feel like Boss Lady and $10 suit are just references to that same episode where Michael bought the lady's suit.
Angela [00:39:24] And when I first read this, I thought it was "Hair Club for Men Pubes."
Jenna [00:39:28] Like, one whole thing?
Angela [00:39:31] Yeah, until I saw the comma.
Jenna [00:39:33] So after the roast ends, Michael does not take things well. I mean, it was rough on him. He had planned to stand up and kind of roast everybody back, but he can't get through it. He walks off the stage. He like does that super awkward, heartbreaking moment where he runs into the drum and has to set it back up again. So he actually takes a personal day. He puts on his turtleneck. He reflects at the park. He ultimately comes back into the office and decides that he is gonna roast everyone. Let's hear it.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:40:09] Jim, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom, roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom, roasted, Pam, you failed art school. Boom, roasted! Meredith, you've slept with so many guys, you're starting to look like one. Boom, roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom, roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom, roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom, roasted. Oscar, you are... Oscar, you're gay.
clip from The Office - Oscar [00:40:55] Wow.
clip from The Office - Michael [00:40:55] Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck. And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom, roasted. Alright everybody, you know I kid. You know why, kid, you guys are the reason that I went into the paper business. So good night, God bless, God Bless America, and get home safe. Good night, guys.
Jenna [00:41:27] I love how he ends it with what he would have said the night before.
Angela [00:41:31] Yeah, he just fully reads his whole roast. I thought both Steve and Leslie David Baker did such a great job of building that laugh moment and that feeling of acceptance and that everything's going to be okay, both of them. Just really great.
Jenna [00:41:46] Same. Well, there were a lot of alts for Michael's roast of the room. In particular for Creed. These few cracked me up. "Creed, how about you trim your ear hair once in a while? Boom, roasted." "Creed, you're so old, you send money to PBS. Boom, roasted." "Creed, at your age, getting lucky is finding your reading glasses. Bam, zoom, roasted!" "Creed, your so old and all-nighter means not having to get up to pee. Boom! Roasted!"
Angela [00:42:16] And then there were a few for Toby too, but I'm gonna read my favorite. Ready?
Jenna [00:42:22] Yes.
Angela [00:42:23] Michael would have said, "Toby, fuck you. Boom, roasted."
Jenna [00:42:27] It was like in all-caps.
Angela [00:42:29] It's in all caps.
Jenna [00:42:31] Aww. So, Michael's roast ultimately is a hit. He does make Stanley laugh. The episode ends with a Michael talking head where he says, "They say that laughter is the best medicine. So Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, you should better hold onto them pills just in case."
Angela [00:42:51] Well, I thought we should end this special Boom-Roasted episode with one last candy-bag alt. It's one for Michael. It's his talking head at the end, and here's what he would have said. "There's a lot of kinds of laughter. There's the little chuckle, like when someone tells you a joke (he chuckles). There's that uncontrollable giggling, like your friends just told you an embarrassing secret (he giggles). There's the big belly laugh like when you watch a Robin Williams movie. [Michael does a belly laugh.] And then there's the laughter that comes from the heart laughter. Stanley's heart might've stopped working, but it kept on laughing. And I would rather laugh than work. That's just me."
Jenna [00:43:35] It's kind of sweet.
Angela [00:43:36] Heart laughter.
Jenna [00:43:37] Heart laughter. Lady, you give me heart laughter.
Angela [00:43:41] Thank you.
Jenna [00:43:41] You make me laugh really hard.
Angela [00:43:43] Same.
Jenna [00:43:44] And it's nice. It's good.
Angela [00:43:47] It's healthy.
Jenna [00:43:48] Yes, very. And Lee makes me laugh. I feel so fortunate.
Angela [00:43:53] Yeah, Josh really cracks me up. I mean, in our family, everyone thinks Josh is the funny one. Like, he's the one that gets us all, because you don't see it coming.
Jenna [00:44:01] Well, you know, my kids voted on who was the funniest in our family. I came in fifth. Like, after the pets.
Angela [00:44:10] Oh, after the pets!
Jenna [00:44:11] Well, I guess the only thing I'm funnier than is the dog.
Angela [00:44:15] Oh, Maggie. Maggie's not funny.
Sam [00:44:19] That's such a funny thing to say though.
Jenna [00:44:21] It's only how I make my living, as a comedic actress and podcaster, but whatevs. Not a big deal. Not funny to my family.
Angela [00:44:32] Well, Josh is the funny one in my family, but I think I'm funnier than our animals. I don't know, I haven't asked. Who knows? I'll get back to you.
Jenna [00:44:40] Let me know. Alright, well that was really fun. I really loved those Candy Bag alts, that was nice.
Angela [00:44:46] I spent like a whole day reading them. I know you did too, and it was like I could hear everyone's voices, you know? It was so fun.
Jenna [00:44:55] I mean, we can't get new episodes of The Office, right? But we have these super fan episodes where you get a little bit more, and then we have this gift of our Candy Bag alts. And you can hear it, you can hear the show.
Angela [00:45:10] It's a little extra Office.
Jenna [00:45:12] A little something extra. Well, let's take a break, and when we come back, it's time for Around the Town and our Office Question of the Week.
audio cue [00:45:19] [musical sting]
Angela [00:45:21] We are back and Sam, we had a few people write in and say that they miss your Around the Town sting. So I thought we should make sure we play it today.
Sam [00:45:31] Absolutely, here we go. [Around the Town sting plays] [Sam laughing] That's so stupid.
Jenna [00:45:38] It's so perfect.
Angela [00:45:39] I love it so much. Alright, let's start with one from our snail mail. Alice B. from Massachusetts wrote in to say, "Ladies, I know you love a fun summer trip, so I wanted to write you about an amazing festival. My family and I went last year and had a great time. It's the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. Professional sand sculptors from all over the world come here and what they do with sand is unbelievable. True works of art. Plus, there's great food, lots of entertainment, and fireworks, and Revere Beach is easy to get to from Boston. So if you love the beach and sand castles, this is the one for you. Come visit us in Massachusetts. We love you, ladies."
Jenna [00:46:20] I mean, that sounds cool.
Angela [00:46:22] I know.
Jenna [00:46:22] It always sounds cool. When can we do this stuff? I think it's after our kids graduate school. I mean, we just have to be here right now.
Angela [00:46:30] Well, listen, I'm firmly believing Office Ladies is going to go on forever. We have our back library that's always going to run. And maybe we can just hop on and have some travel journal chats.
Jenna [00:46:40] Oh, that's a fun idea.
Angela [00:46:43] Like, if we finally get to go to all these things.
Jenna [00:46:44] Yeah, we'll just come in and we'll read our journals of going to the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. I would love to hear each of our takes on that.
Angela [00:46:53] Me too, and what we ate. I went to the website and this festival happens end of July. The artwork is unbelievable. Like, the sand art is unbelievable! Alice, you're right.
Jenna [00:47:07] Lady, I have another place for us to go.
Angela [00:47:10] Oh, okay.
Jenna [00:47:11] We got in around the town from Stephanie D. in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, who says "Mount Trashmore in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is a former landfill with six million tons of garbage transformed into a recreation destination with walking and bicycling trails and a scenic overlook of the city." Stephanie said, "I am currently working on completing the annual Mount Trashmore challenge for the second time."
Angela [00:47:37] What is that?
Jenna [00:47:39] Okay, "You can earn prizes and you get your name on the annual challenge plaque if you hit 140 climbs of Mount Trashmore, because that is the equivalent of Mount Everest."
Angela [00:47:52] Wow.
Jenna [00:47:53] Stephanie said, "Your podcast keeps me positive, smiling, and entertained as I put in another climb toward my goal. Thank you for keeping me company along the way. I love that trash has been turned into a community asset that provides individuals an opportunity to meet new people, get active, and celebrate one another's successes." Lady, I wanna climb Mount Trashmore with you!
Angela [00:48:16] I mean, and also Stephanie, what a positive thing, you know? Gosh, I love that. I would climb it with you, can we climb it one time? Do we have to climb it 140?
Jenna [00:48:27] We just go one time.
Angela [00:48:28] Okay.
Jenna [00:48:28] Also, I happen to love Iowa. I have a little bit of a sweet spot for Iowa because it's right on the border of Missouri and we used to go into Ottumwa for really good loose meat hamburgers when I was in college.
Angela [00:48:44] I've never been to Iowa.
Jenna [00:48:46] Oh, it's great.
Angela [00:48:47] Well, there we go. Gosh, put it on our list. This list is getting long. Okay, that's what she said.
Jenna [00:48:55] Did she say that?
Angela [00:48:56] I don't know. No, it isn't getting long?
Sam [00:48:59] No.
Jenna [00:48:59] I don't think she said it.
Angela [00:49:00] If it's getting long, it is growing, guys.
Jenna [00:49:03] You could say, "This thing is getting along."
Angela [00:49:05] Sam said, "I will allow it."
Jenna [00:49:06] You're allowing this?
Sam [00:49:07] I'll allow it, but watch yourself, counselor.
Angela [00:49:08] Okay.
Jenna [00:49:09] Oh, boy.
Angela [00:49:09] Alright. Michelle E. from New Albany, Indiana wrote in and said, "Hi Office Ladies. First off, I wanted to say how much I love your show." Thank you, Michelle. And then Michelle said, "I wanted to share something cool my daughter's school did the other day. They did a wax museum and had to do a report on famous Hoosiers. She told me that one of her best friends was doing her report on Jenna Fischer. I was quick to reply that Jenna was not a Hoosier, and she grew up in St. Louis (since I feel like I know so much about you guys). I then discovered, Jenna, you were born in Fort Wayne, which I guess makes you a Hoosier. There were several girls that did their reports on you since there was more than one class and maybe not that many famous Hoosiers. But I still thought it was neat and wanted to share. Thank you again for all you do."
Jenna [00:49:56] Well, it's true, Michelle. I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana. My folks grew up in St. Louis, but my dad was transferred there for work. That's where I was born. I think I lived there less than two years. We moved away when I was pretty little, and I did then grow up in Saint Louis. I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I almost went to college there. My second choice school, when I did my college tours was Butler University in Indiana because they had a really good dance program.
Angela [00:50:25] And your mom has shared on this show that you and Emily, your sister, were very good dancers.
Jenna [00:50:30] Yeah, I mean, I knew when I went to visit, I was like, "I don't have it to make this program." But I loved the campus. But I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I've kind of wanted to go.
Sam [00:50:42] Do you have any memories of Fort Wayne? Were you that young?
Jenna [00:50:44] Um, I was young enough that I don't have any memories. So from Fort Wayne, my family moved to California for about two years.
Sam [00:50:53] Do you remember that?
Jenna [00:50:53] I do. I remember that we had an above-ground swimming pool and I would swim in the pool with the dog. I remember that we have a lemon tree and I used to pick the lemons and eat them right off the tree. So I have two very faint memories of California.
Sam [00:51:09] I don't think you're supposed to...
Angela [00:51:10] What, you can bite into a lemon, lady? To this day? Can you just eat a lemon like an apple?
Sam [00:51:15] You're Creed eating the onion right now.
Jenna [00:51:18] No, I mean, people do that all the time.
Angela [00:51:21] Okay, so you cut the lemon open...
Jenna [00:51:23] Yeah, and then you lick it, you squeeze it.
Angela [00:51:26] Can you still do that and it doesn't give you the wee jeebies?
Jenna [00:51:29] No, no, no. I could maybe do that with a Meyer lemon, but I guess I just loved lemons. Oh, I also remember we had snails and I used to take the snails and put them on my arm. Those are my memories, snails, lemons, and an above ground pool. That was my childhood.
Angela [00:51:46] Alright, I think it is time for the Office question of the week. This is from Bonnie P. in Kitchener, Ontario. "Hi Jenna and Angela, I am currently listening to the episode 'Dwight K. Schrute, Acting Manager,' and I have a question about The Office that I have been dying to ask. Who designed the logo for Dunder Mifflin? It bears a striking resemblance to the logo of the company that my husband works for. This company," (and by the way, Bonnie, I hope I'm saying this correctly,) but Bonnie said, "The company's name is Malal Blamey Construction, and it was founded in 1982 in Waterloo, Ontario. So it and the logo has been around for longer than The Office. Is this just a coincidence? Do a comparison and let me know what you think. Thank you, here's the picture, Bonnie." Alright, let's look at this picture.
Jenna [00:52:36] Well, listen, it is blue with white framing. Big letters.
Sam [00:52:43] The spacing of the words is close, too. Like, they're physically very, very close together.
Angela [00:52:48] I mean, I see a similarity. I'm very curious. Bonnie, we will do a side by side and put it in our stories, but I do see the similarity you're talking about.
Jenna [00:52:58] Yeah, I see the similarity. I think it's different enough, but it is similar. I really liked this question because I realized this is something that we have never dug into. Where did this logo, this very famous logo that is all over the place now on shirts and on actual reams of paper... Like, who did design this? So, I reached out to Greg. Greg said that the original one would have been in the pilot. Our pilot episode had a different production designer than our longtime production designer, Michael Gallenberg. This was true. Our DP on the pilot was different from our longtime DP, Randall Einhorn, who took over once the show got picked up. So same with our production designer. The production designer on our pilot was Donald Lee Harris and within his department, Henry Saine was credited as the graphic designer. So, Greg said that his guess is that Henry must have designed it, and he just remembers that Michael Gallenberg made variations of it for different uses. But Greg said that it would be interesting to find out, if you can track down either Donald Lee Harris or Henry Saine and ask. Because Greg added that at one point he was told that the Dunder Mifflin fictional brand is the second most famous fictional brand after Duff Beer from "The Simpsons."
Angela [00:54:27] Wow. That's crazy. Well, Jenna, this also got me curious about the logo of the BBC version of The Office for their company, Wernham Hogg. So I looked it up because I couldn't remember it.
Jenna [00:54:39] Me either, now that you mention it. Does it look like the Dunder Mifflin one?
Angela [00:54:43] Not at all. Look at it. It's totally different. I'll put it in stories.
Jenna [00:54:47] Oh, very different. It's red and black and...
Angela [00:54:50] The font's different, it's not framed in any way. It's got a big W, and then the letters come off that giant W.
Jenna [00:54:58] Yes. Well, I found Henry Saine on IMDB. He directed "Bounty Hunter." He has an extensive resume for graphic design. I was hoping to see if there was some trivia about him. I tried to dig around. Is there anything attributed to him for having designed this very famous logo? I couldn't find anything, but I did find some contact information for his manager, so maybe we can reach out. Matt is on vacation this week. He's high up on a mountain. So when he's back, maybe we can get to the bottom of it.
Angela [00:55:30] And Henry, hey, if you're hearing this, write us.
Jenna [00:55:34] Yes, or anyone who knows Henry or anyone who knows who designed this logo. We want to hear from you.
Angela [00:55:40] Alright, well, this was just a ton of fun. I had such a great time. I was so excited today coming in to work. Josh was like, "What are you so chipper about?" I was like, [in a silly voice] "Well, I don't know, I just get to go talk with my best friend." I dunno why I'm saying it like that.
Jenna [00:55:56] I don't either, but I felt the same way. You know, I'm taking off for my summer vacation after we record this episode.
Angela [00:56:04] I know, you're on vacay, lady.
Jenna [00:56:06] I know. So I was sort of aware, like, "Oh, it's going to be a couple of weeks before I get to see you and record again." So this was a nice send off. Thanks.
Angela [00:56:15] I'm not going on vacay, but you know what we are doing?
Jenna [00:56:17] What?
Angela [00:56:18] Finally. Oh Lord, help me. Lord, bear me strength.
Jenna [00:56:21] What?!
Angela [00:56:22] We have this, I don't know, storage area under our stairs.
Jenna [00:56:27] You're gonna clean it out?
Angela [00:56:28] We haven't in years. There's stuff, you have to kind of crawl to get to the way back. We just keep shoving it and shoving stuff and shovin' stuff. I don't even know what's back there. And Josh was like, "This is the year. Damn it." Because it's going to take up, we're going to... I don't even know what all, we are going to dig out of there, but it's gonna take up probably the whole living room.
Jenna [00:56:50] So while I'm on vacay, you're going to be cleaning out under the stairs.
Angela [00:56:54] I'm digging under the stairs. We're having a stay-k.
Jenna [00:56:58] Gosh, those are nice.
Angela [00:57:01] I'm actually really excited about it.
Jenna [00:57:02] I know you are.
Angela [00:57:03] My goal is not to do my hair and maybe stay in my jammies till after lunch. Because who cares? I can clean out under the stairs in my jammies.
Jenna [00:57:14] Yes, you can. Well, on that note, everyone, you know where we'll be. We hope you're having a great summer and we'll back next week with another episode.
Angela [00:57:26] See you then. Boom! Roasted.
Jenna [00:57:28] Boom! Roasted.
Jenna [00:00:17] Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.
Angela [00:00:19] Office Ladies is a presentation of Audacy and is produced by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey.
Jenna [00:00:24] Our senior producer is Matt Beagle. Our audio engineer is Sam Kieffer, and our associate producer is Aynsley Bubbico.
Angela [00:00:32] Audacy's executive producer is Leah Reis-Dennis.
Jenna [00:00:35] Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.
Angela [00:00:37] Our theme song is "Rubber Tree" by Creed Bratton.